Shitty Roommate Stories

Because we live in the middle of nowhere and there's no other houses for rent. And I'm only there for one more week before I move back home to go to school.

The difference is that she asked and you didn't. A misunderstood implied contract compared to actual theft of private property.

bullshit, mind if I have a slice of pizza? then eating nearly two whole pizzas implies free reign over everything. don't like it then don't be a fucking psycho

She clearly stated "A slice", not "Two full pizzas" when asking. She did not ask if her boyfriend or her friends could eat any either.

So no, there was no misunderstanding. She flat out just let her boyfriend and friends eat it all, even if she herself might have really only had one slice.

$15 of pizza is a bigger deal than 20 cents of peanut butter which I offered to buy an entire new jar of, while she never once offered to replace the pizza.

I had a roommate that would eat anything in the fridge on a whim. He finally got the message when we started labeling literally every item on the fridge (some, e.g. leftovers, with a particular names, many items with "[NAME] BOUGHT, CAN USE BUT IF YOU USE SOME/ALL YOU SHOULD REPLACE).

I also had a good friend, bad roommate that just... abused the shit out of cookware. Metal pans in nonstick, left cast iron soaking in soap and water, let vegetables boil over in a pot until water overflowed all over the range...ugh.

tfw roommates cook decent meals for you

I had a good roommate wile living in Oregon. His name was Seth.

>never ate each other's food
>he'd buy a half gallon of alcohol and offer shots throughout the month
>we'd have house meetings if there were ever any issues. We never went to bed pissed off or feeling screwed over.
>we'd often buy each other meals

Shit, if anything I was the shitty roommate by letting my wife fuck things up, or not being able to say no when family came knocking at our door. I miss that mother fucker.

I had a French roommate who would make a God tier quiche. And a serbian roommate who would cook copious amounts of bacon and share with me. That was a nice apartment to live in

>TFW your only good room mate was a 40 something year old lady with an 18 year old daughter, that would buy tons of random food and anything she didn't like she would just give you

She never cooked full meals, but she once bought a 10lb bag of meatballs and didn't like them, so gave me the entire bag.

Going from eating almost nothing but pasta, to eating meat for days, was like heaven.

For what they are, michelinis is good in a pinch

I don't have food related bad roommate stories. Just one of them didn't bathe for like 2 weeks and the stench was ridiculous. Don't know why. He only did that once, rest of the time he bathed regularly.

In fact I was the one kind of stealing for a couple of months when I had no money and was literally starving. When I could no longer pay the rent I had to leave and was homeless for 6 months. Pretty funny memories now.

In college I had a roommate who came from a very well off family. He'd always buy take out from fancy and expernsive restaurants. But he'd only eat like half of the box before closing it and throwing it away. While I'm there just lucky to be able to afford apple pie from McDonalds.

So whenever he was gone, I'd get the box out of the trash and eat his leftovers. I know it's sad but I hate seeing wasted food and he always bought the good stuff. But I guess in a way, I also ate well that semester.

You could have just... asked if you could have the leftovers and not eat them out of the garbage like a homeless person?

>In college I had a roommate who came from a very well off family. He'd always buy take out from fancy and expernsive restaurants. But he'd only eat like half of the box before closing it and throwing it away.

That pisses me off, and I was fortunate enough to get $200 per month from my mom for food (I mean obviously I wasn't able to eat caviar and kobe beef or anything but that's a decent amount of money to work with). Sad or not, you did nothing wrong by taking that food - but as the guy below just said, you should have asked for the leftovers lol. Your roommate would've had to be a real cunt not to give them to you if they were just going to toss it anyway.

Sounds nice. I miss living with 5 other people because of all the leftovers from decent places I used to get. I don't like wasting money on restaurants, and free food is the best food.

Nothing that was shitty between us, but one time my roommate tried cooking rice for the first time.

He literally just boiled the rice for like 15 minutes, strained it and tried to eat it. I have no idea how he mad it to be 20 something years old without never cooking rice or not knowing that rice is steamed.

>I must say that women are way messier and grosser than dudes.

Anyone who's worked a job where they had to clean public restrooms can confirm this. I've had female coworkers tell me straight up that women are disgusting slobs compared to men, usually after they've just finished cleaning the restrooms.

I've only had one shit cook flatmate.

There was four of us and he buys an uneven amount of chicken thighs for example 6 of them. He just marinate them with straight out of the jar Thai green curry paste, then baked it. Just thinking about the amount of salt in that paste is making my mouth dry. Also, with the left over 2 piece of chicken we have to roll a dice to see who gets them

>pick related

That doesn't sound terrible, but I've never used jarred curry paste. Is it meant to be diluted?

my 370 pound roommate would eat an entire brick of cream cheese within a day. id always buy one for bagels or a cheesecake but hed run off into his room without and eat it with a knife. i started buying the reduced fat version and he was too scared to try it for a few weeks but eventually he gave up and started stealing them again. i fucking hate him, id tell him not to eat them and hide them but he wouldnt fucking listen.

Put pepper in everything. Your room mate won't touch your food anymore.

>wife
>roommates
you were the shitty husband if anything

It's meant to be used to make the actual curry itself. The jar says to add coconut milk, chilli, lime etc. Try licking a stock cube, it's like that.

That's fucking disgusting m8, Jesus.

Tell me about it. That was his usual sometimes he'll use Tom yum paste to coat the chicken in

My sister can't cook for shit, so she gets a ton of those mac and cheese boxes. She lives with her boyfriend but for some reason never makes him pay for anything, especially groceries.
He also eats those boxes daily, but for some reason uses two of the cheese packets per box of macaroni. So they have a ton of boxes of opened macaroni with no cheese in them. Don't know how she does it.

Then a couple years ago, two roommates outright refused to do dishes and would just get high instead (never went to classes either). And apparently one of them bought a bag of potatoes the first week we were there and stuffed it in the back of a cabinet we didn't use.
One day I noticed there were tons of gnats around. Figured it was because of the dishes and forced them to clean them. Didn't help. I was going insane because of these goddamn gnats, and eventually found the potatoes, 9 months after he bought them. I'm not a good cook. I don't know how potatoes work. But these fucking potatoes grew hard. Like roots and shit all in this cabinet, dripping in horrible juices that I didn't know potatoes could make. A gigantic cloud of gnats hit my face as soon as I opened the door, and the smell burned my eyebrows off.

I don't eat potatoes anymore.

Yep. Besides the experience with cleaning the arena bathrooms, there was the year of living with my gf (we also shared the house with my best friend from high school, and another girl we knew from HS).

tl;dr

Should note that the gf was the oldest of four kids (three girls and a boy [boy was youngest of all]) in a single mother household.

>she got a cat without even telling me; I told her before this that I didn't want a cat
>she wouldn't clean its litter box
>I once told her that it stunk and it was her job to take care of this thing
>literally told me: "If the smell bothers you, you clean it up"
>also wouldn't clean her dishes/pans/glasses, etc.
>I told her in private one day that it was unfair of her and that it wasn't right to leave this shit out for everyone else to deal with
>was told that I was "nagging"
>the two roommates and I took a stand and refused to clean them for her
>got so bad that there were little bug sacs on dishes; we finally caved in due to how gross it was and took like two hours to clean them
>also never put her clothes in the hamper; always looked like our floor was the site of a clothes tornado

After our nine month lease was up, we broke up. Shortly after she became a crack addict; a year or so later she moved out to Alberta after getting clean and married some Muslim dude who was about 10 years older with kids who she knew for like three months. Needless to say, I dodged a massive bullet. Haven't dated since and don't trust my instincts to find a sane chick.

I enjoyed this story, but I think I’ve heard it before

IT takes a certain kind of person to move to Alberta

I don't think I've ever posted it before. I haven't been in Veeky Forums in years.

>Also, with the left over 2 piece of chicken we have to roll a dice to see who gets them
You a Britbong? Is this why you didn't have any knives with which to cut the extras in half so everyone could get 1.5 chicken thighs?

Try living on a Navy ship. Specifically a cruiser.

Sit back little ones, and I'll tell you the saga of The Stank-Ass Deck Seman: Snickerfucker.

>During the end of our last deployment
>We get D. Sniderfeld, a deck seaman fresh out of bootcamp and 50 pounds overweight from PRT standards
A deck seaman for those who don't know are people without designated jobs that do stuff like paint, chip paint, mantinence on life preserver shit, misc jobs, etc.
>Sniderfeld walks by our Boatswains Mate Chief (BMC) the second day
>"Ay Snickerfucker, get yo ass over here!"
>"I-It's Sniderfeld, Chief"
>"Not anymore. You Snickerfucker to me now!"
>Dude is on the verge of tears getting a nickname like everyone else
>We notice the male berthing starts smelling more and more like trash each day
>Good 'ol Snickerfucker refuses to shower since he got there
>For a whole month
>People are forced to stand shower watch woth him after dinner to make sure he gets clean
>We pull back into Virginia afterwards
>Snickerfucker is a spitful fat piece of shit now
>Constantly snacks on chips in his rack and quotes memes 24/7
>Always in devt because he blows money on Legos, toys, and videogames that he can't put anywhere. He's got nowhere to put any of this shit except on top of his rack
>Every birthing cleaners we pull so much disgusting encrusted garbage off from his area and gag on the smell
>My and my 3rd classes' day to clean the berthing
>We get down to the nitty gritty smells really shitty
>Sheets are browned
>Legos are everywhere
>My PO looks at the foot of the bed and throws up
>I double glove for this shit
>Browned cum socks
>At least 7 pairs
>14 finely aged seaman storage devices that reek of fish and death
>We throw his matress and all of his shit out
>As a joke we did the math of how much merch was there
>2k, laptop included

To be continued next post

>So he throws a fit and nobody cares
>Chief just tells him to suck it up
>He gets pissy and finally applies for a rate (designated job)
>He picks Culinary Specialist
>A fucking cook
>We think there's no possible way that he'll actually get it
>Literally everyone on our 400 man ship knows how much of a piece of shit he is
>He fucking got it
>Quality of food goes down
>Nobody can stop the Snickerfucker from tainting our meals
>The Chief of the cooks can't even prevent the destruction
>Vegetables boiled to hell
>Steaks over cooked
>Old Bay on everything
>We were all waiting for him to fail the physical fitness test a 3rd time (3 strikes you're out rule for the Navy. Other than discharge)
>He finally does
>We throw a party celebrating his failiure
>Last week he was rung off for good
>Wearing his trademark GameStop AssCreed jacket that smelled like shit
>Flips all of Deck Department off
>Bobbing his arms up and down with a wild expression on his face like he's trying to be funny
>"Thanks for a year of hell, faggots!"
>He does this in front of a fucking Commander
>He gets stopped at the end of the pier by security
>Gets hauled off by on-base police amd never heard from again
>Probably got the last of his pay cut off and sent back to whatever swamp he hailed from

I'm a Navy cook myself, and he was an insult to even the shittiest kitchens.

>quotes memes 24/7
Holy shit those are the worst kind of people. I'm just wondering how he didn't get his shit kicked in.

its the navy. dont you mean 'pushed'?

I stayed with a gay couple for six months.

Absolutely worst experience. One was a HIV positive gay mexican male that was overly flamboyant and said that he wanted to have sex with me a few times. Disgusting. His boyfriend, my landlord, was this stumpy, short guy that just loved walking around the house nude. The middle aged mexican gardner that worked on the yard there kept hinting they, him and my landlord, wanted to do a 3 way with me.

They constantly stole my drinks and food. I gave up and just ate out every day. The HIV faggot did drag so there was exotic colored hairs all over the bathroom. They had a dog that seriously pooped and peed everywhere but the landlord gets anal when people wear shoes in the house. Also, the HIV mex fag turned off the internet a few occasionscause he wanted me to hang out with him, but this is a huge no cause I didn't want to and I had work to do. Luckily I had unlimites internet with t-mobile so I just used the internet from that. I fucking hate the gays.

your roommate sounds like a total bro

And you didn't do squat about it either, you beta nu male faggot. Do you let men fuck your girl in front of you, too?

>rooming with a HIV positive man who wants to sleep with you

shit, i'd be scared and putting bolts on my door son

You seem like a major pushover, honestly.

We couldn't throw a punch.

Fucker would snitch the moment someone threated to kick his ass. He was untouchable and it killed all of us. Thankfully his arrest was well worth the wait.

Hilarious and original.

One time I used some of my roomate's Tony Shesheers' for a meal I made. He literally beat the shit out of me, like blood on the kitchen floor, and threw me down a flight of stairs, whipped out a gun and killed himself.

As I said my flatmate does the cooking. If you're not there they will roll the dice for you.

Hm. Honestly, in this situation, you save more face by not asking to eat leftovers. No one knows you eat his expensive takeout from the trash, and no one has to. I think it's better than asking for his scraps.

>but the landlord gets anal when people wear shoes in the house.
I bet he does, user. I bet he does.

I didn't know he was until I was there after a while. There was HIV medication just strewn here and there with his name on it. The gay couple kept getting into fights so there was loud yelling and music 2 or 3 in the morning. The kitchen always had old food and dirty dishes on the table, counter sink so there were roaches and ants. There was even Christmas decorations lying about in the hallway, living room, and kitchen in fucking February.

The rent was overpriced cause it was in such a bad area in Seattle and more than other places nearby. I seriously will rather live with an Indian before living with a queer male for now on.

GOT HEEM

I work in Intel and anyone like that would have been fought in berthing. I know how deck/eng berthing is and that knowledge makes me doubt this whole story. He would have been beaten in any deck berthing I've ever been around.

...

Should have beat him with soap like FMJ

Doesn't work like the movies m8

Wish it did

Fuck, what is it with short fat gay guys wanting to walk around naked all the time? Nobody wants to see mantits.

I'm about to move in a few weeks and I'll be getting random roommates. These stories got me spooked.

>random roommates
you should be

>tell my housemate as he heads out the door for university that I made some yummy egg salad sandwiches, and if he ever wants some they are in the fridge
>I eat them all before he gets back
Even though I paid for and made them, I still feel guilty

My family had a rice cooker (Japanese Grandma, so, my mom was used to that being the standard way to make rice) that I got when my mom was gifted a new one. So, I never really cooked rice in a pot myself until I was probably about 22.

>ever using anything but a rice cooker
theres no point

Depends. You said random roommates? I will be very worried if it is student housing or something like that.

Yeah that's kinda a dick move, but I guess it's not that much work and if he really wanted it upon returning you could make him some more.

>ask my roommates not to leave dishes in both sinks since I do my own cooking and clean my dishes when I'm done with them always
>the two say sure we'll try, but one of the other one starts inquring like I'm fucking retarded
>is still doing it

W-what? Jeez. my last roommate was a fucking cleaning autist, and now it's a complete 360 degrees.

When I feel better, I'm just gonna try and mass clean the kitchen since it's kinda dirty and I feel like if I ask them to clean it they'll think I'm retarded. So if I start clean, maybe I can convince them to keep it clean.

>le xd Alberta is like texas
No its not you faggot, it's a great place to live.

>So if I start cleaning, maybe I can convince them to keep it clean

Unless these guys are your best buds and you have a great deal of love and respect for each other, keep dreaming. Many people have irrational hatred for cleaning, I don't know why

I almost fucking puked and I like dick

Laziness trumps having a clean place for a lot of people. Most people WANT a clean place, they just don't want to clean. You can learn calculus but you actually have to take time and exert effort to study it; you have to actually get off the couch to have nice abs and a tight ass, etc. If you could acquire these things just by snapping your fingers, most people would have them.

>be asian
>always eat spicy ass stuff
>roommates avoid eating anything out of my compartment
>even declines when I offer
Except desserts, where they know is off limits and will eat only when I give them the greenlight.

This is why I will never live with someone else.

Why didn't you pick your roommates?

Also set clear rules at the beginning of the semester.

Just explain your feelings it's all a misunderstanding

I just read add grab my head out of disbelief...

I share a 5 room house with 3 guys and one girl.

We got 2 fridges and a one big ass freezer (helps to sort out the space)

>no one steals food
>once 2 weeks we go and by spices for our rack so anyone can use them
>everyone has their kitchen unit which no one ever dares to touch.

Even if someone will borrow my stuff and im in work, ill get a text or a message beforehand and they re-buy my stuff.

And its not some posh crew - we work, we party, we do stupid shit ... but we have that "keep your station tidy" programmed in our minds.

btw. Polish-Chech-Estionian crew.

Aw man, I may be going off topic here, but I can relate.

>next door neighbors are gay
>one is def
>other one is obviously damaged. Not necessarily flamboyant, but feminine and awkward. Definite Tumblr material.
>hang out with them because they smoked and weird one was into guitar like me
>he grows attached to me and starts awkwardly flirting
>I turn him down and try to move past it
>invites me over to jam with him on guitar
>tells me he wants me to play this new song he wrote about unrequited love
>cries when singing the lyrics to me
>I go home and try to ignore him
>I hear him arguing with boyfriend about me
>he obviously wants me to hear it since he doesn't need to talk while signing
>I learned basic sign language do I could communicate with def bf
>he was a really cool guy. No issues with him at all
>apologize to him about the whole situation
>he blows it off and confides that his awkward bf does this shit all the time

Let me just stop there. I got shitloads of fucked up stories about these guys, but I'll save it for another board/ thread. I can't think of one that's food related.

keep going, the mods don't care obviously

>tells me he wants me to play this new song he wrote about unrequited love

Stopped right there, cringed hard. Jesus fucking Christ.

Be prepared

Invite cute girls over, show them the mess and let them make fun of the roommate.

i live in a house of 7 random people off craigslist and i have only had one "incident" of a housemate drinking two of my shit cans of beer and she immediately apologised and said she was locked out and had to spend a few hours alone in the kitchen waiting and she offered to pay.

children under the age of 6 use women's restrooms and women have more bodily functions and effectively have diarrhea ine week out of the month.

it's no surprise it's dirtier.

nothing disgusts me more than people that have wives/husbands or children and still have roommates.

leasing cars is up there too.

why are you eating communal meals?

roommates are not family.

Obviously I wanted to. I just needed someone to take the bait.

>like I said, both gays liked to smoke
>they'd buy some weed from my roommate when def guy gets his social security
>I should also mention that awkward gay guy refuses to work, and calls himself a house wife
>awkward guy continuously gets too high and calls the ambulance when he has a panic attack
>his average is 3 ambulance rides a month
>one time he was smoking with my roommate
>he never had a bong hit before, and he didn't want to start now
>he asked my stoned roommate if he would take a bong hit, and then blow it into his mouth
>stoned roommate nods, takes a hit, and starts blowing it in to awkward guys mouth
>we suddenly see roommates facial expression change as he realizes what he's doing
>locks himself in room and texts me to tell gays to leave
>apparently that secondary hit was enough to get awkward guy plastered, so I escort him home
>I open their door, and awkward guy asks me to open the door to his bedroom for him
I know what you guys are thinking, but no, there's a plot twist
>I open the door and see see guy naked and masturbating to straight porn
>I try to close door before he notices me, but def guy sees me, tried to cover up, and yells out "CLOTHES DLE DOORH!" in his def accent
>I hear them arguing about the fact that it was straight porn for an hour straight
>obviously didn't need to hear this argument, as he could have been signing quietly the entire time
>even def guy is scream-mumbling

>spice rack is free
>pots and pans free to use as long as I respect them
>I clean all the dishes even if they're not mine because I have a weird thing about listening to people wash dishes
>not one issue of food related problems
>if I want something, I'll ask her, if she wants something, she'll ask me
>apartment is spotless because we routinely clean

It's a good deal.

...if you think a period is effectively diarrhea I rlly worry about basic health education in ur country

I don't mean to nitpick but I finally got annoyed. It's "deaf", not def.

period = cramps.

the body can't determine what should be contracting so it all goes.

everything is on high alert, adding in sensitive tummy and high fat food cravings, dehydration (aka increase water intake to remedy it) and you get loose stool.

have you never heard of "period shits"?

This is perfect because I just moved into my new place, I've got a few Veeky Forums and non Veeky Forums related

>Be 2nd year uni student
>Find house with 3 other roommates
>One is shut in but keeps clean
>Another is typical stoner
>Other is dumb hippie girl
>Stoner would keep making pot brownie's
>Shit would burn in the oven
>House reeks of pot
>Not a day later stoner friend would tell us to clean dishes
>Tell him they're his
>Argue

Will post better ones in a sec

Oh shit, I really should have known that. Perhaps I've spent too much time listening to 80s hair metal. Thank you.

>bring dishes, silverware, other cookery to college apartment
>all roommates use it
>noone else cleans it
>get tired of cleaning it so just leave it all in the sink in hopes one of them will clean it up
>stays in sink so long it molds over
>clean it and then dump it in a donation box
problem solved
>one of the roommates wipes his ass and then dumps it in the garbage can next to the toilet
>never dumps the trash
>overflows 4 days after anyone else dumps it out
>bathroom smells worse than a portable toilet by day 6

>Dumps shitpaper in trash

Lemme guess, South American?

>Stoner eventually picked up a highschool girl off tinder
>They fucked really loud and left
>That was awkward but whatever
>She shows up again
>And again
>Again
>Everyone else is studying for finals and all we can hear this prepubescent girl getting fucked
>Tell him to keep it down
>Stoner says "Bro it's your fault for listening"
>Argue
>NIGGA WE HAVE HAD HEADPHONES AND SPEAKERS ON MAX KEEP YOUR SLUT IN LINE
>At one point he is trying to get her to socialize with the rest of us
>even though we find her annoying and immature
>At one point she's complaining to stoner
>I'm hungry cook something for me
>Hey user how do you make pasta
>just fucking boil water, drop that shit in, take it out later and add sauce, christ
>While making pasta she keeps trying to add le random xD shit
>She wants to add various sauces that would make no sense, a fuck ton of cheddar cheese etc.
>Stoner says no that will taste like shit
>She has a tantrum
>Stoner calls me out
>"user you cook for yourself a lot, you think this is a bad idea right"
>Just say some gay shit about expressing yourself through the pan
>She adds all of this shit while trying to explain the Shrek is love/life meme to stoner
>The pasta abomination is eventually complete
>they eat a little and are visibly disgusted
>They eat maybe a quarter of the huge fucking bowl they've made
>Throw the rest out and leave a fucking mess of empty pasta sauce jars, cheese burnt on the stove top, and fucking spilled ranch or some shit

Just buy that fridge cage or a plain old chest and lock everything that's yours
It fixes 90% of roommate problems

Fill a sock with a soap bar each and wake him up with a good old fashioned beating