What's the EASIEST dish you know how to prepare?

Chili con carne

This is my favourite vegan, raw foodist, paleo, gluten free, no sugar added, deconstructed apple pie.
Would you like the recipe?

Real food that's not spaghetti? Chow mein/yakisoba/weeb noodles with sauce.

Mix a 20/25/30/20/5 ratio of light brown sugar, oyster sauce, regular soy sauce, dark soy sauce, and fish sauce. Modify ratio to taste. Don't overdo the fishsauce, it tastes like ass. Sauce by itself should be salty and dark tasting, overpowering, not a good idea to eat by itself, but not fishy or awful.

Boil and drain some spaghetti or ramen or whatever the hell you have laying around, set aside. Toss some chicken in salt and pepper, fry without oil on a steel or iron skillet. Fuck teflon, it ruins meat. Might get soggy if you use a pan instead. Once the meat is cooked, add a splash of garlic paste, a few raw eggs, and komatsuna (turnip leaves, they have mustardy taste, use a strongly flavored leafy vegetable if you can't find). Once those are fried, put the noodles down and mix it all together. Pour sauce to taste over it. Treat the sauce like a concentrate, you don't need much. Fry a little longer. It's fucking wonderful. Better than 90% of Chinese restaurant chow mein. Gonna make a graphic next time I make it.

Invented this by majorly majorly fucking up a pad thai recipe.

Semen

Pasta in brown butter sauce. Literally just cook butter and add some herbs to it.

Fried egg, French fries, guacamole, cream cheese and onion dip, a burguer, a hot dog generally one or two ingredients dishes are super easy, I once made chocolate moose but my electric mixer broke so I needed up having to whisk eggs for an hour by hand, it still came out great

>boil macaroni
>slice hot dogs into it
>pour tomato juice over it
>serve in bowl with fork
Delicious.

Scrambled eggs.
Beat up some eggs, fry.
Add salt and ketchup.
Taste awesome, nutricious, maybe some bread on the side.

buttered bread

My breakfast. Dab of butter on pan, frozen vegetables, two eggs. With heat and a couple of minutes inbetween and shit.
I will never tire of it.

Pancakes or pizza.

I have the most difficult time making scrambled eggs. Every time I try I somehow fuck up and end up with a fucking omelette.

>bread
>hot cheetos
>turkey deli
GOAT sandwhich

Oh son, it takes years to perfect this dish. Just keep trying.

Yes plz

Breakfast burritos.
I take whatever leftover protein I have, chop it up, throw it in a pan with butter, garlic, onion, jalapenos, and diced tomatoes, break a couple of eggs over it, and roll it up in a flour tortilla.

Takes 10 minutes and it's always good.

Peppercorn sauce from scratch

beans on toast

>always try to make omelettes
>end up making scrambled eggs

Baked chicken

I suppose French toast? Idk. It was the first thing thing I was ever taught how to make that involved a heat source. I was 6 or 7, and 6-7 year olds are fucking dumb so it's gotta be easy as tits.

chicken breast + prego + slow cooker for 8 hours on low

>"""""""""""""""""""baked"""""""""""""""""""" chicken
You're black, aren't you?
I've never heard anyone say "baked chicken" other than blacks. It's 'roast chicken.'

All europowers say baked. But hey, we me be niggers in heart!

I asked for clarification on baked v roast because I'm from Europe and living in the US. , though not from an English-speaking country.

Here, the only people I've noticed to say "baked chicken" are black.

My native language's cognate for 'roast' is used exclusively for something cooked over open flame, analogous to the American use of the word 'grill' or Commonwealth use of 'barbecue.'
We actually lack a concise verb for 'baking,' instead saying it's 'oven-cooked,' so for us, a roast chicken (or baked in your case) would be 'oven-cooked chicken,' and 'freshly baked bread' would simply be called 'freshly cooked' or 'freshly done.'

My gf's ass

Cum Omlette

You got a point there.
Thinking to myself what do I call it?
We have a word, propably closest is cook.

>garlic paste
nigga cut up some fucking garlic you lazy shit

I knew the garlic paste vendetta guy would say this.

>easiest dish you know how to prepare

Nigga I use a lot of garlic when I cook, a fuckload of garlic. Usually use half a bulb's worth when I'm making this. Also, I don't know where you're from, but the garlic paste in my country is 100% garlic and ain't bad at all. I'm not doubling the amount of effort this recipe needs just for 5% better flavor.

Toast

Overnight oats
>Soak oats and whatever fruit/nut/seed stuff in milk
>Leave in fridge overnight

carbonara in terms of having a nice and warm meal
>boil spagetti
>meanwhile mix cream with sliced ham onions an eggyolk and parmesan
>drain spagetti
>add mixture to spagetti and cook for a couple of minutes

spaghetti carbonara and putanesca are both easy peasy

Baking is dry heat and roasting is heat with fat.

other than cookies and brownies probably homemade bolognese

I'll remember the next time I order a baked beef sandwich.
Fucking idiot.

You will need:
An apple
Preparation:
Splash apple with water (optional)