I'm going to prison for a very long time and I need to know what the food is like

Fuck outta here

what if i like sucking dick

I bet drug possession or drink driving and fucking someone else up

Sounds interesting. What actually happened, then?

kek wat.

Story?

you've posted this exact thread word for word before.

>attempted murder
>law professor
>4chans fast food forum

Just another day on the boards.

Australia.

Isn't this what all accused murderers say before they get convicted?

I was in the passenger seat of my car and my friend was driving and he noticed one of our law professors that we both hate on the other side of the parking lot. I wasn't driving since I was extremely drunk and for some reason my friend smashed the accelerator and just ran into the guy at 50 miles per hour. He was unconscious and bleeding from the head and instead of helping him, my friend ran from the scene and fled the city. After this happened I called the police and sat in the driver seat and when the cops came they arrested me. I didn't do anything but i'm having a hard time convincing the courts of that since I accidentally sent the prof a death threat a few weeks ago

Shush. Regardless of what actually did or didn't happen, we might get a good story out of this.

And what does your friend say about this?

kek
Post recipes pls.

>since I accidentally sent the prof a death threat a few weeks ago

>I accidentally sent the prof a death threat a few weeks ago

What did the law professor do to make you hate him?

Did you explain to them that it was just a prank?

Get ready for ramenand koolaid
bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-37164279

A tray full of steaming hot man-rape.

Erry day.

I for one am glad that OP is going to jail.

I hope he gets raped every single day :)

>"friend" that OP doesn't know the name of magically disappears after attempting to kill someone OP threatened to kill

How convenient.

No wonder the state is eager to fry your ass, you literally just confessed to Veeky Forums. How dumb are you?

this shit has to be made up

In his smelly asshole.

No, it's completely 100% true.
Why would someone lie on an Atlantic Salmon Grading seminar site?

Who does that?
Who goes online just to say lies at people?

>my car
>friend ran over
>accidentally sent him a death threat

Let me give you a tip, get in a fight with someone a few days before you go to jail so that nobody wants to fuck with you.

Run for the Boarder user

>Boarder
Clearly advice from an educated user.
Do this, OP.

*rim shot*

(literally)

Everyone is a loanshark. Get Swole. Never toss salad.

Tight story user. Ramen 4 u murder junky

>you will be full
Not in Texas. At least not in county lockup. I spent nine days in Tarrant County jail. I ate every single thing they gave me and I left 10 lbs, lighter. I went in at 180 and came out at 170.

Look up difference between jail and prison

They force you to survive on the protein from cum.

Oohh i understand, because they will see the brusies and think 'hey that guy got here because he was in a brawl so he's not a gay little bitch'

Has anyone pointed out that a professor of fucking law is one of the worst people to try to kill?

but the gains though

...

Most of the examples of good prisons in places like japan or the Nordic countries is due to their population. In a place like america, the 3rd largest country in the world, it's tough to provide things like rehabilitation and anything besides locking people away is because of cost, you can't have tv's in rooms because it costs too much, compared to finland or norway. The bigger countries like India and China are actually worse, they break human rights laws, so it's tough. Best of luck OP, just don't be an asshole nigger or like those kids in scared straight.

>couldnt even finish the job

You deserve it OP.

just watch prison break.......

The worst part of is that american prisons are held by private companies, aka they're not even interested on getting those peoples out of their prisons by reforming their inmates as active members of the society.

Japan has 125 millions of citizens, so it's around one fifth of the number of the american citizens.

It's about how they are raised that they don't get in prison in the first place, so no extremely high costs for their country.

>lol omg are we not gonna talk about how the person he hit is a law professor?

That's you. That's how you sound.

Privately owned prisons are always shit. They cut costs when it comes to food and cell quality.

US prison system looks and probably is corrupt to its core. You shouldn't be able to run those kind of institutions and make a fucking profit. It's retarded. Judges have been fired before for getting kickbacks for sentencing more people to prison. Wouldn't happen if it was always a state run operation.

Food-wise. Expect a lot of that nutraloaf shit. They claim its good because it might contain everything you need, but it's bordering on torture to not have food variety.

Europe, a bit better. Best would probs be in the nordic countries.

China, Russia, South America. ... kek

This. They chose the stick in the US. Long sentences, shitty conditions.. and boom. Prisoners become even tougher career criminals. Re-incarceration rates are skyhigh and PIC leaders pocket all the profit.

It is all a business. Anything for profit this is the nature of capitalism.

IT WAS JUST A PRANK BRO

Japan is a homogeneous society

>The state has a good case
>but it's all bullshit
Those are not mutually exclusive but most of the time they are.

Literally Tyler Durden tier friend

>You shouldn't be able to run those kind of institutions and make a fucking profit
Why?
Better than lining up the criminals and putting a bullet in their skull, which is what needs to be done

Others have pointed this out, but really, if there is any truth to your story, if your friend was a law student too and has just disappeared, surely you can explain this and there will be people you encountered that night (you were out drinking, right?) who will remember him being with you. And then maybe there is CCTV footage from a business near the incident that will show that it wasn't you. I mean, if you're story is true, there are a lot of ways you can cast doubt on the state's story here, and it really would be awful for you to go to prison for attempted murder, when the only thing you're guilty of is being incredibly stupid.

I'd much rather be in a Indian or Chinese prison than a Brazilian prison

Christ have you seen the videos of what goes on in those places? literally hell on earth

Why? Do you know what type of law he professes? If it's International Tax Law or some homoerotic shit like that it makes little difference

not good but better than the shit they feed kids in cafeteria

Dan Merkel?

>Japan has 125 millions of citizens, so it's around one fifth of the number of the american citizens.

Huh?

when i was in jail i enjoy breakfast. snack cake like a twinkie but even better and a carton of milk.

after i got out of jail i kept the tradition.

>sat in the drivers seat

Why would you do that?!

Out of 300 million Americans, 3 million are in prison. The highest prison pop. per capita in the world.

The more you know.

Are you one of those law students who thinks knows the system well enough to get away with murder and where you trying to make a point by killing your profesor?

Why would tour friend scape on foot when he was driving a car?
Why would he leave you behind when you witnessed the whole thing?
How were you able to make the call when you were too drunk to drive?
Why did you move to the driver seat?

k...how do you accidentally send a death threat to somebody?

probably gave him a shitty grade on some pre law midterm at community college

that is a normalfag apartment in japan since land is expensive
racial homogeny means the guards cant pit race against race to prevent riots against the guards

Depends on whose prison.

Also, sorry to hear that. But if you are going for a long time, won't you have plenty of time to just find out? A lot of prisons don't give you all that much else to do but work and eat and procedure that doesn't feel like anything...

This sort of shit happens all the time. Wrong guy goes to prison and 20 years later they figure out it wasn't the right guy. The guy never gets any money or apology or anything.

People have gone to prison their entire lives because they were black and some white girl dreamed they raped them. True.

you know even "non profits" can pay their CEOs and workers massive salaries right

Don't worry. It's still better than school food.

Apparently also a very good business for a lot of people.

And more punishment than rehabilitation.

actually the state will pay them like 20k a year for ever year they were locked up. So old fags spent all their lives in jail but at least they are millionaires

In some states that may be true, but in 21 states the falsely accused aren't guaranteed compensation.

What are the odds that even if your case is clear, you still need a lot of lawyer time (and just time) to get it actually processed and get money...?

Are you Joshua Scaggs, 26?

...

If you ever get out of prison, do me a favor. There's this big hayfield up near Buxton. You know where Buxton is? One in particular. Got a long rock wall with a big oak at the north end. Like something out of a Robert Frost poem. It's where I asked my wife to marry me. We'd gone for a picnic. We made love under that tree. I asked and she said yes. Promise me. If you ever get out, find that spot. In the base of that wall you'll find a rock that has no earthly business in a Maine hayfield. A piece of black volcanic glass.

You'll find something buried under it I want you to have.

It's just like regular food but in generic packaging

Funny thing about japanese prison, the cells are nice, but you literally become slave labor and are treated worse than people getting drafted into a war.

lol, watched this movie last night

Yeah in Texas they will rip you a new asshole, figuratively and literally.

>I was driving drunk and decided to hit my law professor that I had send a death threat to with my car. When the cops arrived I was so drunk that I decided "Friend driving in my car decided to hit the prof even though I'm clearly in the driver's seat and have sent him a death threat" would be a good cover story.

FTFY

On your first day, go up to the biggest, blackest guy and kick the shit out of him. Assert your dominance early and often. As for the food, just buy everything off the commissary and make yourself a decent meal

This sounds like a terrible idea. Go for the weakest, whitest guy so you don't get literally killed

If you want to get ahead in prison, have a friend or family member on the outside who will keep your commissary account full. If you are the guy who can make junk food appear any time he wants and likes to share, you will be loved.

he will go through county to get to prison though.

>posts pic of his apartment.

how many yen does that huge apartment cost a month?

get your public pretender to file a plea deal and get less time. never admit to the crime. place all the blame on your friend. If he does get caught he'll say you did it anyways. ask your parents to put money on the books for you every month so you can eat better. dont ever suck a dick. ever. I was in for 9 years and never had to turn fag for nobody.

youtu.be/ooGLzqDGd0w

gotta get dem musselz

Well, to argue the hypothetical friend's situation: You will be charged either on attempted murder or for causing grievous bodily harm (idk american term), as you called ambulance and were drunk you may argue a case for only trying to cause bodily injury rather than attempt to order him and for aggravating circumstances. You are still looking at like over 5 years because that would tac on drink driving. So good luck.

Been doing reading, and jesus you yanks really fuck over anyone who kills someone in some states, and are reasonable in other states, for 1st degree it varies between parole after 15 years in rhode island to just flat out no parole in michigan

if you live in the 3rd world expect expired cold food, also food with worms and stuff like that