Be friends with a wine and spirits judge

>be friends with a wine and spirits judge
>she knows I love beer and make it myself
>has taught me a lot about spirit tasting and wine tasting
>she recomends me to be a beer judge at an upcomming event

my pallete is completely fucked from eating hot and sour foods all the time so i just fake it half the time, will I be fucked if I actually do this?

>just make shit up
>use bizzare smell comparisons people can't actually verify
>make smug remarks
>tell stories from childhood and say the beer reminds me of it

This bait has potential...

>tfw when it's not bait
>tfw it's entierly true
I'm just waiting for a response from the event organizer whether he wants me/wants my credentials which just consists of alocholic homebrewer beer snob

When you find something you really like, compare it to artisan brews like PBR or Natty Light.

>pallete
Punch yourself in the gut

what are your top 5 breweries

I kekked.
Maybe OP is a master painter?

Don't talk about how the beer smells. That will immediately out you as someone who doesn't know anything about beer

Earth eagle brewing
Foundation Brewing
Maine brewing company
Russian River
and
[spoiler]north coast brewing[/spoiler]
I was planning to describe every aroma as a different animal's anus and then chastize people when they aren't familiar with that smell

should i focus purely on mouthfeel?

Just say fuck it and describe what you taste. I assume you've tried the major styles and can tell what should and shouldn't be an aspect of them

>Mouthfeel
This is a bait thread and you nearly got me

I've tried all the major styles and am certified in wine tasting, I guess I should be fine but I will still have the urge to

>not abait thread
>but that was pure fucking bait

Beer doesn't have mouthfeel

I'm not posting bait, and if you aren't trolling we need to talk about pure basics of beer. If you don't know the basics you shouldn't be judging

...

I'm sorry you're lacking in feel taste buds

Do you want to learn or do you just want to argue with me?

>he doesn't know about carbonation levels
>he doesn't know about different types of gasses
yeah tell me a old rasputin on nitro feels the same as a normal one.

That's not mouthfeel man. That's the aromatic components.

Contributes to the aromatic components*

just show up drunk, I feel like it is the only respectable way to bow out of this

just close your eyes and imagine what it would be like if the beer were trying to fuck you from the inside. how does it handle your dick and what not.

>explains something in another way
>acts like he's right
okay buddy

>When you find something you really like, compare it to vintage artisan brews like 2010 PBR or 2008 Natty Light.
ftfy

I'm confused why you think mouthfeel and aromatics are the same thing