Veeky Forums public health alert

Do not eat me. I am not food.

I heard that microwave RADIATION activates the main component of CHEMTRAILS

this

when you see a chemtrail above your house, NEVER turn on your microwave

>foodbabe

Isn't she one of the proponents of the vaccines-cause-autism meme?

...

>Cancer is a fungus
????

>baking soda and lemon juice

I got a pressure cooker. No need for a microwave.

...

kek

>Starbucks doses
I will never get this bullshit. Are "small", "medium", "large" and "extra large" not hipster enough for those faggots?

>maybe if we call it a meme people will stop spreading the truth

NWO shill tries his best.jpg

I hate this fucking garbage. Literally one google search found exactly the study they're referencing regarding Caramel Color Level IV and their findings were conclusively "Minor changes to feces, no tumors, no signs that this shit is carcinogenic."

>FoodBabe

I don't have a microwave, but that's because it forces me not to be lazy about my food, not this stupid shit.

Why have you chosen to spread death and suffering?

>coffee enemas

I don't see how one would replace the other

Can I still charge my iPhone in the microwave or will it get razorblades too?

whenever I am at a place that has fanciful terms for sizes, I just say small or medium anyway. Fuck them.

>eat raw foods at every meal

humans are adapted to eating cooked foods, specifically to avoid expending large amounts of energy on chewing and digestion. Apes spend literally half their waking hours chewing food. Humans evolved and adapted to avoid this, which allowed our brains to continue to grow larger and more complex. Cooking our food is what separates us from every other species on the planet, and cooking and eating animal meat is what makes us human.

Source: Michael Pollan

don't ever get an MRI if you think microwaves are bad

>toxic dose of sugar

then why are all those white girls drinking it not ded

It's just a little toxic, like a microagression

I assumed it was satire until I saw the foodbabe tag at the bottom.

>toxic
>non-organic
>NOT VEGAN
>NO REAL PUMPKIN IN THIS "PUMPKIN SPICE" LATTE WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS LIKE SALAD DRESSING WITHOUT SALAD WHAT THE FUCK TUMBLR

>Natural flavour can be made from anything found on earth
OK so is the artificial flavor made from asteroids or something?

>bombard you with radiation
Microwaves work by creating an electromagnetic field in a box that rapidly flips dipoles (i.e. water molecules). This creates heat from the friction of said moving water molecules. Most, if not all of the waves are absorbed by materials inside the box, however if a few waves were to escape, you probably would not feel it, and you most certainly could not develop cancer from regular exposure in this manner. All light, including the kind you are able to see, is electromagnetic radiation. However, only light above the visible light spectrum, such as gamma rays and X rays, is considered ionizing, and actually able to cause cancer from regular exposure. Microwaves, on the other hand, are below the visible light spectrum. They sit alongside radio waves in terms of frequency and wavelength. In fact, the kind of light used in microwave ovens is actually of a similar frequency to your Wi-Fi, but power output is the reason why you aren't getting cooked by your router.

I'm pretty sure our bodies adapted to the radiation by now, we probably need a little at this point or we'll start to get sick or something.

>condensed milk, even soy milk, is NOT VEGAN
>Uses Milk
The fuck does it matter then

>toxic dose of sugar

fugg made rage

Anything is food if you eat it.

Is microwave a form of gluten? Is this what is causing rampant digestive problems?

No, but it turns the steam into gluten, which causes Celiarc disease.

...

...

No. That is pica. Pica is dangerous. Do not engage in pica. Do not eat me. I am not food.

...

>not using plastic or microwaves is comparable to not breathing
Welp, I guess I'm dead, then.

*high five*
Me too.

Microwaving is one of the best ways to get rid of bacteria

venti and trenta are 20 and 30 oz respectively

Legit story microwaves gave me obesity

my name is michael and i like to call it the michaelwave because its like its named after me :)

so you're saying I could over-power my router and get a microwave gun?

>2. Microwaves can destroy matter itself.

OP is just fucking with me.

but if I throw it away I have nothing to cook on.

I haven't owned an oven/stove in like 8 years. Every single meal has come from the microwave.

I have a toaster, I guess...

#1 makes me laugh.

Heartily.

Nice try OP but all cooking does whats mentioned there. Thermal radiation is only dangerous in high doses ie; enough to physically burn you.

Did you know the average tuna has as much mercury as a rectal thermometer? Would you eat a rectal thermometer?

>tfw you have your second Pumpkin Spice Latte and your sugar toxicity levels spike

Why start with a non sequitur, if you aren't going to follow (1.) with then we found out they were bad through research (1.) doesn't make any sense unless you have an assumption that uneducated people don't have.
That assumption would be "thoroughly researched before adaption"
Na, I'm gonna try cocain nigga. Didn't you hear about the research? that shit be addictive. Na nigga don't give a fuck I a strong motherfucker I got this coke shit down.
No one gives a fuck what the researchers, if they did they wouldn't be posting that trash.

Huh?

It doesn't...matter

...

I can't tell if English is your first language or not.

Foodbabe, into the goes

POPTY PING?!

dude

i don't care about all that bullshit, i can't use microwave because the food turns to shit. the food always comes out heated unevenly and not tasting great.

...

It's like the writer had a stroke.

I don't care about the bullshit either, but it sounds like you need to learn to properly use the microwave. It cooks food unevenly beacuse there are patterns of heating in the chamber. Look it up if you wanna get technical. The food usually rotates in a microwave, but that's not enough to assure heating in all of the parts. You just need to nuke it for shorter periods of time and move it around the chamber a few times in between

It's Middle-English.

This site is top tier satire

I'm going to stick things up your butt, then rape your butt until the room stinks, and then eat your butt until my stomach was full of butt.

I've spoken previously about the radiation risk microwaves pose but I just got laughed at.

It's completely real unfortunately... including the site owners anti-vaccine hip hop music

HAHAHAHAHA

I should mention that when the microwaves beeps at the end it's doing so for a reason. It's letting the radiation dissipate. Also if your microwave is old you should replace it and get a good quality one as the seals that hold the radiation in are very important.

my microwave doesnt beep it dings

Does it do one loud ding? If that's the case I'd wait at least 5 seconds

fuckin welsh.

Christ on a fucking bike, every time I see this image it makes me so angry and there's one specific headline that makes my blood boil.

>how cancer is mainly caused by the intake of acidic food

ALMOST ALL LIFE ON EARTH IS ACIDIC YOU STUPID FUCKS WE EXIST AS AN ACIDIC SOLUTION YOU CONTAIN A BAG FULL OF HYDROCHLORIC ACID THAT BREAKS DOWN ALL YOUR FOOD YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKWIT EAT A BAG FULL OF POTASH AND DIE YOU CARCINOMA OF HUMAN SOCIETY.

I took a microwave dinner out of the fridge and put it on the table an hour ago, it is already noticeably warmer, am I living in a microwave?

But seriously, the logic of these people is so convoluted that it is impossible to understand for an outsider.
1. Cancer is the worst thing ever
2. Radiation causes cancer
3. Radiation is the root of all evil
4. Microwaves use radiation
5. Microwaves are evil
6. Smartphones radiate
7. You have a microwave in your pocket
8. Wearing pants of millennials causes cancer
9. Millennials are evil
10. A group of millennials causes 20 times as much cancer as a microwave

Jokes on you I dont own a microwave because i have a gas stove and a pot with a lid.

insufferableintolerance.com/science-babe-vs-food-babe-facts-vs-failing-grade-school-science/

There's no pumpkin in pumpkin spice

Welsh.

What's wrong with Welsh?
I think it's a lovely language.
>surprisingly enough, I am not welsh nor have i ever been to wales

If you are what you eat, then you eating my butt would make you a butt. Do you want to be a butt?

is skub food?

>would you eat a rectal thermometer?
yes

I am part welsh and have in fact been to wales multiple times. Hence my dislike for the welsh and wales in general. Its a shithole.

When the microwaves hit you

fucking moron, that's not how microwave radiation works, you can open them safely at any time

If microwaves created irradiated particles, it would take years for the radiation to dissipate, not five seconds.

>sweetest of the transition metals

who wouldn't?

why do people think microwaves are dangerous or that they're radioactive?

I work in a lab where I have to microwave soil samples to get the water out. I run the microwaves on high for 4-8 minutes at a time and use the dick-height running microwave as an arm rest the whole time. I've been doing this 8 hours a day for two years and I'm fine. Everyone I work with is fine too.

All the Welsh I've enountered seem very happy, fun, pleasant people compared to the rest of Britainistan.

Heston Blumenthal might be interested in something like that

They believe baking soda cures cancer. No idea why.

w-what? I open them up at 1 second left every time because autism are you saying I'm dosing myself with fucking microwave radiation every time I do that?

>why do people think microwaves are dangerous or that they're radioactive?
When people hear "radiation" they think radioactive. Some people are just scared of hard or scientific sounding words, that's what the entire foodbabe and "natural cure" people base their industry out of.