How do I purposely induce dissociation disorder...

How do I purposely induce dissociation disorder? I've come to the realization that all social anxiety is a result of too big an ego. I want to dissociate from my ego so that I can once and for all kill my social anxiety. How do I get dissociation disorder? I've been abusing DXM (which works amazing for my social anxiety during the actual high), but it has yet to induce any dissociation disorders. What are some other methods?

>he fell for the socialization meme

You don't. I've been suffering from depersonalization and derealization for 14years. I literally feel like my brain and consciousness is disconnected from my body, it's like the front half of my head is empty and i'm viewing life from the back of my skull. It's miserable and sometimes I want to an hero.

I will only say that it's possible, and you might not like where it leads.

Invest time into building awareness, and then cognitive structures to manipulate low level features of your mind. Subdivide and model it however it makes sense to you, plot out what avenues you can use. Build the systems, and then do the low level architectural work required. Pull he cover off the black box of the mind as much as possible.

You're headed on a course for misery.

>depersonalization and derealization

Wow - those are some of the rarest and most frightening mental disorders out there.

Can you tell me more about what it's like living with them? Do you feel this way all the time?

I suggest philosophy, if you're not already inclined. The predisposition towards that vein of interest is probably all that caused me to gradually reconcile my own issues.

How old are you?

If you wanna do dissociatives, go MXE, far better than DXM in my opinion.

I think that LSD would do you better though. That and mushrooms helped me get rid of a lot of social anxieties.

I would say meditation is most likely the "safest" way.
A so called "Kundalini Awakening" can really fuck you up tho mang.

Take LSD, for real.

There's a chapter in girl;interrupted that describes a depersonalization attack as she's having it.

She feels the tendons in her hands but cant tell if there's bones underneath.
So she starts opening up her hand to check.

PCP

I think it's actually damaging to give it a name. "Depersonalization". "Derealization". What the hell is it to be "real" to begin with? What you just described is a existential issue, which is inherently philosophically oriented.

All of this stuff stems from social feedback loops that either demand delusion, or are unconcerned with reality. People just need time to think. For example, do I know that I've ever actually lived a life? Certainly not. I could be a robot, built a few days ago. Loaded with fabricated memories, and activated earlier today. My environment suggests to me my memories are correct, my notion of "identity" connects to something other than memory, but does it really? No. And you can't ever prove it. You hack your limbs off and pry open your ribs to find those robotic pieces, and when you find organs you still won't know, because you're relying on your senses and your mental faculties to resolve your "reality". The machinery of your mind, your logic, your reason, cannot be verified as accurate. It can only have the appearance of consistency.

And so what? Really, so what? That's just the way it is. It doesn't matter if it's real or not, you can't tell, so you might as well accept what you see as real to some degree, and take the path of least resistance. Unfortunately, the core matter necessitates faith in the supposed nature of one's mind and judgement. Oh well, best ya got.

Let go, and if you desire to live in the moment directly, allows yourself to slide back in.

Though obviously, I ought to add that you naturally still employ heuristics to detect distortions in memory. Recollection, limitations in information and reasoning, tricks your senses might play on you via how they function mechanically. I'm not suggesting to trade illusions for illusions and tell yourself "I see it this way, therefore, it is and might as well be this way." If everything is inherently uncertain, it's just about the level you choose to take it to.

I second this. Or mushrooms.

I think you're completely misunderstanding what depersonalization is as a mental disorder.

Do you have any idea what it entails and what people suffering from it go through?

>and take the path of least resistance.
QFT

Fuckin' reality man.

>If everything is inherently uncertain, it's just about the level you choose to take it to.
---- becomes --_--
Gaps in the floor of what is presumed to be life.

>mental disorder
implies order.
What society deems "order" is not always so.
Psychology is BTFO.
The DSM is the new-age bible.

Yes, because I went through it.

Humans are machines. Don't tell yourself you "have" some trait leading to a "mental disorder", or you'll never reconcile the damn thing. You are the machine you're calling disordered. Find a means to get it doing what you want. Figure what you're capable of, when, why, how, and therefore, what you are and why you are. Easier said than done, but this is what is needed. Maybe. All up to you.

Seriously, if you are open to drugs take LSD

What you are talking about is like saying "my leg is injured so I want to cut it off", you will be making things much worse for yourself, as someone who used to have both, depersonalization is much worse than just social anxiety.

Don't just try to get yourself permanently fucked up to fix your problem, work through the actual issues that cause your social anxiety in the first place, LSD is perfect for this

Like anything, it's not an instant cure, you don't just take a dose and magically get better, but the altered perspective and clear mind LSD produces can help you come to terms with your own self and better understand the thoughts, feelings and experiences that led to you being who you are today, both to know yourself and to deal with your personal issues.

or hey you could just rail a bunch of ketamine

>Don't tell yourself you "have" some trait leading to a "mental disorder", or you'll never reconcile the damn thing.
And what if said "trait" is neurochemical by its nature?
Or if you've deluded yourself into believing it's neurochemical in nature?

Damn, I just want some serotonin agonists.

I really hope K gets approved as an anti-depressant.
Mmmm a K nosespray...

To exist is to just be a small cluster in a large mechanical waterfall. Things come, things go. Even if there is no such thing as a granular unit, nothing really changes. Ultimately the boundaries that are "body" are unclear and it is difficult to rigidly delineate self from environment. For example, it is clear that if my heart stops, I will die. My system requires it to be doing a certain thing to maintain itself as a whole. But you won't die, nor will anyone else unless they're depending on me somehow. Yet take the sun. No sun, and most things fizzle right out. To exist on this planet, the sun can be called a grand organ we all share. Where the body begins and ends is ultimately unclear.

I don't think it really what it actually is on a base level. I'm inclined to think it's all mechanical. But regardless, you can observe and form realistic perceptions of how things are capable of behaving and changing, and therefore, how they are capable of simply being. I operate on a framework where all elements are inherently uncertain and weighted by probability and how much trust they deserve. Many elements are near certain. None are made fixed constants.

For serotonin I recommend theobroma cacao seeds The theobromine will raise your cAMP in some regions, lower it in others. Flavan-3-ols will improve blood flow and neurotransmitter synthesis. Phenylethylamine will potentiate 5-HT synthesis with long term consumption. something something or other with histamine and endocannabinoids, etc.

"mental disorder" in it's current parlance basically means any persistent pattern of thought which leads to undesirable behavior or outcomes - something that impairs the individuals ability to function in society. Yes - there is an "order" to being able to properly function in society.

for example, if you want to act like a dog and jerk off in public using your own feces as lube and NOT call that a mental disorder, be my fucking guest. Just don't expect society to do you any favors besides locking you up.

>undesirable behavior or outcomes
Interjecting personal bias onto a societal whole. Our current concepts of "mental disorders" are needed to perpetuate society.

I got a bag of whole cacao around here somewhere, and some dried paste.
I really should be supplementing daily with it.
But it sucks having to tear out your heart.

I think daily cacao can get to be a bit much, for me. If I'm consuming it frequently I;ve come to try to stagger ~2 day intervals,

>Our current concepts of "mental disorders" are needed to perpetuate society.

You say that as if it's a bad thing?

And honestly, no - psychology is moving away from that paradigm. Today, the question of whether or not something is a mental disorder is decided by the degree to which it impairs the person suffering from it - not societal expectations. That's why homosexuality was removed in the 70's - not due to "societal pressure," as /pol/ would have you believe, but because it was recognized that homosexuality in and of itself wasn't an impairment to the individual - it was the stigma/reaction from others which was causing the problems - not the condition of being gay itself.