Restaurant thread

If you were to open a restaurant what would you call it, what would the ambiance be? What sort of cuisine?

Also long shot but do any restaurant owners lurk Veeky Forums? Share some knowledge.

I would call my restaurant "Pizza Bandits" and would serve exclusively pizza "so good the robber got caught for sticking around to eat." my logo would be pic related except the fedora would be a circular pepperoni pizza and it would be a darkly lit dining room with lots of dark wood and a fireplace.

Bump

A fast food vegan place selling wrap sandwiches. The main three offered would be the Palestine (falafel, hummus, pickles, lettuce, tomato onion), the Punjab (chana masala, curry potatoes, onion, tamatind sauce, cilantro) and the California (black beans, marinated seitan, salsa). Everything is $9, and you can do a CYOA sandwich using any combination of the ingredients that will fit into the wrap).

Don't have a catchy name for it yet, but the plan would be to open it only near expensive colleges because the target is rich kid vegans who think $9 for a vegan wrap is a good deal. I'd pepper the promotional materials with vague claims of social responsibility and ethical superiority. And I'd be sure to have a really flavorful and strong hot sauce available so when a macho type gets dragged there by his SJW gf he won't feel like a total pussy eating a vegan meal. Bragging about the hot sauce would be part of the promotion as well.

I'd open a restaurant on the first moon colony.

Good food - but no atmosphere.

"anyong haseyo filthy american swine"

korean bbq with all the cuts named after one of the kardashians.

Id rather open a bar with a limited menu of food, maybe 5-10 items. It would be a video game themed bar, with some old school arcade games and pinball machines. And instead of sports on the TVs, I'd put on my favorite Twitch Streamers.

I got a genuine chuckle out of that, user. Well done.

I'd make a fish and chippery in Mariana's Trench. Entire menu is deep fried seafood

Kek

I wanted to open a hellish themed restuarant, hire some devilish looking motherfucker with slick back hair and a gotee to be the host, have fire and jazz playing in the back, all the waitresses wear red cocktail dresses.


then during the day itll be a brunch place and everyone would wear white and be super nice.

id call it heaven and hell.

Why not just call it hell? It'd make it more interesting during the daytime

Food truck, serve restraunt grade dishs infused with mary j. Wed be called the rolling joint.

A vending machine restaurant with machines from around the world and a casual dining area. There would be a friendly attendant to discourage vandalism and to confront machines that refuse to vend.

I would open a Surinam fine dining restaurant in Manhatten called KwiKwi. Serving surinam food but in luxurious 3 michelin style dinner. Start with a canapés of bara, samosa and pom. Then a Saoto as entre. Have a lobster roti with madame jeanette mango hot sauce and a vadouvan based curry. Then maybe a tropical water ice to top it off. Or have a moksi meti but with high quality meats like wagyu beef, goose liver, pata negra pork and such.

...

I would call it Harambe 'n' Eggs, to jump on that dead ape wagon. it just be me in a little food kiosk surrounded by eggs. I'll serve up those eggs anyway you like it, poached, scrambled, over apey, whatever you like. With my specialty dish being apes benedict.

I'll call it double trouble, and the menu will be for couples only, no singles.

Pizza joint called:

Pete's 'za

Kekz4cuks
We sell cakes ("one kek plz") and 'go 'za. You can also sign up for therapeutic cuckolding sessions involving niggers and either your mother or wife, since most of you faggots don't have a wife or any other significant female in your life.

Curry restaurant, called "Poo in a loo".
Bollywood music would be playing and toilet paper is not provided in bathrooms

I would be your regular customer.

>say that you give 10% of the profits to some animal right/environment something
>just take out all the profits as a salary, so technically you aren't lying

The wording would be as vague as Chipotle and Whole Foods, just taling about doing good for the planet, supporting local agriculture and making ethical choices. Just all the vague shit rich idealistic people in need of fast food (but wanting something "healthy") want to hear so they can feel smug about their choices.

but for real those sandwhiches sounds delicious,

but why just wraps? some people are just antiwrap you see, a classic sandwhich looks better through a window with ingredients spilling out, sounds like you thought it through though

go for it

You are so far from being wrong. That tactic has made companies millions of dollars. Just look at that bullshit company that promises to give a pair of shoes to an African indigent whenever you buy a pair.

They don't actually do that. They just pocket the money. Just like so many other "charities."

i'd call mine "Keep Your Damn Kids At Home Because Some Of Us Want To Dine In Peace" franchise chain. Doesn't matter what we serve. We'd be all over and quite popular.

the breast cancer ribbon gives like 12% of income
to cancer research for example

it's a generally bullshit idea that you can buy a conscience

A cereal restaurant but for right-wing customers instead of hipsters

>but why just wraps?
If I choose a bread that's somewhere between a wheat tortilla and a pita the same kind of bread will work for those three very different sandwiches. Also we're talking vegan food here - vegans don't have all that many sandwich options, so they're les likely to be anti-wrap because they'll just be psyched tto have a choice of three tasty things they can eat in one spot. But I wouldn't used the word "vegan", it's plant based food. And it just has to taste better than any vegan options at a Whole Foods food court, which isn't that hard. The person up front will be able to make everything from about 15 things, The person in back would just be heating up the bean dishes, chopping veggies and frying falafel.

Because there would be a deep fryer I could put fries up as the one trashy dish. Imagine fries tossed in the potato curry spice mix, then topped with chana masala, tahini sauce, tamarinf sauce and chopped onion. That might be good, too.

To pull this off I'd need some VC behind me. Ideally I'd just sell the idea to Yum! or someone like that who has the muscle to franchise the hell out of it later.