Can we get a rekt cheaters and academic shitheads thread?

>taking cal I
>do none of the homework
>Get C, when would otherwise have A
Genuinely going to kill myself. If my dreams are unreachable, not point in putting off the inevitable.

What's your dream?
Why would you even want to kill yourself because you had a C in Cal I?

To get into a genuinely good genetics post-grad program, which I'll never do if I can't motivate myself to do the work.

I increasingly get the feeling that making anything but an A means you didn't truly engage with the material, and thus you're falling behind.

>In lab for General Chemistry 2 right after a test
>guy goes up to the professor's desk to get his lab work checked off, ask question, w/e
>leaves calculator at the desk
>time goes by, teacher sees calculator and says "someone left his calculator up her-"
>looks at it for a few seconds
>has all the diagrams and definitions written in sharpie inside the cover and back of the calculator.
>teacher doesn't know whos calculator it is.
>says something along the line to the class "well thank you for the calculator whoever left it up here. Because if you come and claim it, you're getting dropped from the class with an F"
>goes on about academia honesty for a few minutes
>the kid comes to the teacher after lab and admits he cheated
>teacher let him finish the class but got a 0 on the test.

I wish he got dropped desu

>not just programming it into the calculator

Are people actually this dumb? Tbh I programmed all the constants into my calculator and used the built-in conversion functions in Gen Chem.

was it a graphing calculator? if so the moron could have just punched in the definitions in his calculator and scrolled up for the history

Don't worry, you can do it user.
Finding motivation is hard enough. But you can also learn to motivate yourself, there are things that can help you so you can try them out, one by one.
Falling Cal I or anything is not the end of the world.

It's community college, so yes.

I don't think so. Might have just been a scientific calculator.

Nobody got rekt but I'm posting it anyway

>Taking test
>Professor grades tests during the class for people who get done early and the fact he just wants to get it out of the way
>Walks out to go take a shit or something
>Left his answer key on the desk
>Guy runs up and takes a picture on his phone
>Proceeds to text it to half the class
>Everybody is staring at their phones hidden under the table

>Doing CS assignments
>Google problem I'm having
>Literally the solutions for the assignment I'm doing show up as the third result
>And all the solutions for all the other homework we'll be doing for the rest of the quarter
>Save the link in a google doc asap
>Copy the solutions but make it more like my own style and also intentionally drop a few lines of code to try and cover my tracks
>Turn in on the due date
>Increasing dread about getting busted for plagiarism haunts my footsteps

Lord have mercy on me, I don't want to get expelled for a class in a minor I'm not sure I want to keep pursuing

>genetics professor
>also teaches pharmacology
>pharma had a test day before genetics lecture
>he tells us how he caught a girl cheating on it
>she had a slip in her socks she would pull inand out during the exam
>she didn't know TAs were sitting all over the room, including behind her and got caught

to put this into perspective:

You have to take an entire year of chem, followed by an entire year of Ochem, followed by an entire year of biochem, followed by an entire year of pharmacology

what an idiot

You are the reason we have to create new material every new semester.

is exercise really the way to go?

college freshmen here and I haven't stepped foot in the gym once. Should I really try to make an effort to use the treadmill for 30mins a day? I feel like this is a pretty reasonable goal that I can make enjoyable with listienng to music.

I do this shit all the time, professors have better things to do than sit there and examine similarities and differences for hundreds of students' worth of assignments. At the very most they'll Google the text and if there's no carbon copy match they'll move on

SO WHY DIDN'T THEY DO IT
THESE SOLUTIONS ARE FROM 2013
TWENTY THIRTEEN
THREE FUCKING YEARS AGO
I'M BITING MY FUCKING NAILS AWAY HERE AND THE ASSIGNMENTS DON'T EVEN GET GRADED FOR TWO FUCKING WEEKS AFTER THE DUE DATE

Thanks, user.

I'm just worried it may be too late. I'm almost done and I only have a 3.4.

fucking lol

My STEM professors have all used multiple versions of the test, though.

multiple version are just the questions mixed around user

CMU students copy? Wow

>is exercise really the way to go?
Yes. I neglected my body and health in the first 3 years of uni.
In the 4th year, I felt like shit. Years of not having exercises and unorganized sleeps put my body in a really bad shape.
30 minutes per day helps a lot if you could do it.
3.4/4 ? It's not that low. But if you want to compete then you should find something more to back you up. You can do research with a professor while you're still an undergrad, it can really help.

Veeky Forumsizen Chem major here, probably mostly smoke blown in that point, I have experience in college both while lifting and while a Lanklet twink, can't look back and see a distinguishable differance, regardless of how much it makes you feel good to think every aspect of life is better when you're swoll

To be fair if he used multiple tests he would have just had multiple keys on his desk; you could easily figure out which corresponds to which even if they're not marked anyway.

>expelling them for cheating on one thing

really?

kek your TAs and Lecturers are fucking lazy.
It's not like 100% students are highly moral with full integrity user. MIT students also cheat sometimes.
Sometimes they are just desperate and cheat.

Not him but it depends on the professor; some will just fail you for the test, some will pursue expulsion for a first offense. I personally haven't cheated since community college but the latter is bullshit.

My calculus professor has repeatedly told us if she even caught us looking at a naighbors paper we'll be cited and sent to honor court. So it's not hard to believe what this guys says

>Something catches my attention off to the side
>Glance over
>Get expelled from the school

like people don't steal ideas from each other all the time.

>Four years later it still makes me mad.
you need bigger things to care about mang

So what are you guys thoughts about programming shit in yo' calculator?

do you have any idea what happens to you if you cheat in the bio department of any university? you'll never work in the field after that

Not him but why bio specifically? And is it actually any university or are you just guessing?

well at least the universities in southern california

and it's bio because 1) high pressure related with the major (mostly medicalfags) and 2) a good amount of bio is just knowing information rather than applying it (especially for EEMB and lower div bio classes) so it's more convenient to cheat in bio vs. something like math or physics where even if you had the equations lined up in front of you, it's hard to do well because you have to know how to apply them

because of these, biology departments have bigger problems with cheating and thus punish it more heavily

Who /toldheadofstudentconduct/ here?

I told them about some smelly arab in one of my math classes. he would sit in the back and be on his phone googling the answers

>mfw would finish the test early, then record him on my way out
>mfw caught him 3 times, getting him kicked out
>mfw that arab was never seen again
feels good man

Are you not afraid that he will bomb your house?

You sound like a massive douche but I can't feel bad for anyone who gets caught cheating twice and still fucking does it after.

Your schools don't have restrictions on calculators? We've got to have a calculator selected from an approved list. All of the approved calculators are complete non programmable for this reason.

tfw using a shitty $8 TI because I keep losing them and don't want to buy anything expensive

How am I a massive douche? I studied my ass off for those exams, and I caught him cheating on 2 midterms and the final. He most likely cheated the first test too.

I am now.

Pic related, a screenshot from the vid proving his phone was on the desk

> How am I a massive douche?

Because you are the type of person who constantly compares his own performance to the performance of other. A self-righteous person who can only derive self worth in relativity

Eh, I'm the one who called him a douche and compare my performance to others constantly

also the type of person who is too stupid to realize he uploaded a thumbnail sized image

I bet if you ever get a relationship, you will let some other guy fuck her because it's not fair that you have imprisoned her

Screenshot for ants etc.

also, of course it's a thumbnail size, I took a screenshot directly of the phone. I wasn't going to upload the entire screenshot
I'm glad you aren't that much cucked then

you got me

cuckolding is tied for #1 on my fetish list. tied with pegging since it's unfair for her to be the only one being penetrated

Impossible.
Cheaters at my uni stick together and know what they do.
70 people will graduate this year by not studying for a day in a 5 years university.They have much better grades than me and are friendly with the professors which means they will land great job.
Get good

Well if you ever get a degree you'll know the satisfaction of earning it fair and having those who cheated expelled. You should add that too.

CS is probably the trickiest to cheat with.

I got away with it for a whole semester but got caught because I used a snippet of code that would help me store pointers.

I obviously changed the code around but some other meatheads copied the same code. The CS professor, who is also the head of the department found it.

Long story short, I changed majors, got a 0 and never cheated again.

Best thing to happen to me.

CS is garbage anyway.

community College tier yo
lol the ti-84 im using is theirs

>How am I a massive douche?
Because you're a narc.

> literally you

>CS is garbage anyway.
>can't even do CS homework without cheating
topkek m8

Like I said, if you fags knew what it meant to graduate you'd understand.

>spending 12 hours a day in front of a computer, and turning into a code orangutan.

>living.

Choose one weasel.

Also, CS is a garbage major.

lol, why cheat?

you're only fucking yourself in the long run. especially CS. I see kids cheat all the time in the lower level CS courses, and then these same kids struggle with the later ones.

What does it mean asshole?

Because I have have a couple of theories on it as well.

>spending 12 hours a day in front of a computer, and turning into a code orangutan.
I'm actually laughing thinking that somebody could spend that much time on CS assignments. What major did you switch to, Engineering?

>Everybody is either a snitch or a cheater
Great false dichotomy world we live in

yawn.
who cares bro?
do shit for yourself, not to be able to shit on others.

>sour grapes
It's okay user. Just admit that you couldn't handle CS.

I'm talking about a career in it dingus. I have plenty of friends in the industry.

The homework was just repetitive and convoluted.

I worked for my degree by myself without cheating. Not calling everyone a cheater, just saying that if you guys even knew the feeling of graduating (which i'm sure you guys don't since everyone on Veeky Forums is still in college), you'd know the great feeling of doing it without cheating.

If he couldn't handle CS, what makes you think he would be able to handle engineering?

Dude is probably in finance or IT or something now...

>I'm talking about a career in it dingus.
I'm aware.
>I have plenty of friends in the industry.
They must be shit if they haven't moved up to management.
>The homework was just repetitive and convoluted.
Maybe you just went to a shit school, my homework was neither of those things.

How many times did you tip your fedora while typing this?

Yeah, at my school at least, there's definitely a lot more EE -> CS than CS -> EE

You know cognitive dissonance only truly applies if you know that person feels like they really want to obtain that object.

I'm glad I realized it's garbage. Why are you so regretful user?

How do you think I typed this? I pressed each key with each tip

>projecting this hard.

That's kinda pathetic.

> Aristotelian Graduation Model
> Galilean Theory Graduation
> Newtonian Theory Graduation
> General Theory of Graduation

suicide is an option you pretentious cunt

>even knew the feeling of graduating
meh. got an associates in medical massage therapy, going to a traditional school now because fuck it.
granted- i didn't need to cheat, the hardest thing being A&P, although I'm sure some kids did: you can be dumb as rocks and still be an MT.
they're working in the field, im not.
meh.

i have an undergraduate degree and didn't cheat

i still think you're a twat

You do realize graduating is just a fucking formality now days.

It's literally a fucking scam that are perpetuated by the same sour suckers.

True universities don't make you go broke for the next half of your life.

This
>Feel good feeling
is utter bullshit, you are not there to "feel good", you are there to be prepared for a career. Yet we get sucked in on what a degree represents.

So many people on this board need to get their head that have been stucked in their ass since undergrad.

>Veeky Forums promotes cheating
Seriously this surprises me. Guessing cheating is a way of life to you guys. I wouldn't know like I said, I work hard and get what I deserve.

Well sucks for you that you didn't get accepted to college, or had to take out loans. Sorry user.

>I walked 20 miles through broken glass uphill with no shoes to school every day and loved every second of it

Cheating is a form of adapting to our changing society.

Why would this surprise you?

Are you naive?

holy shit
apathy != promotion
work on yourself, who gives a fuck about others?

lol, maybe English majors, but most STEM graduates are able to pay their debts back in a reasonable amount of time

this is what cheaters actually tell themselves. this is what they actually believe.

>>Veeky Forums promotes cheating
This shouldn't surprise you. You don't have to spend long on Veeky Forums to realize that there are worthless people here too, user.

Treat it as a reminder that -this- is what you're fighting against when you bust them.

> trying this desperately to save face

> strawman
> false cause
> appeal to emotion

learn some rhetorical theory next time before you choke to death on your own saliva

You still have a bullshit argument for spending so much time just to bust another student for cheating.

If you think that your degree is being devalued by other students passing by cheating, then your school has so many institutional problems with the way it enforces academic honesty, your degree is worthless anyway.

The only other reason why you want to get the other kid busted is because you only feel that your work has value when it's being compared to the other people in your class. If you gave a shit about learning and not trying to 'one-up' other people, you wouldn't even be concerned with how anyone else in your class is doing.

To me, it sounds like you don't have any passion for what you're learning, and you're only in on it for the pat on the back. In other words, you're a brown-nosing, kiss-ass narc.

You have a very childish outlook on life.

>biology is a delusion

hooo leee shiieeet kek.

It's literal practice of adaption no matter how you look at it.

Stay deluded fagcake

>was rewarded for my hard work by having 3 job offers and admission to my universities PhD program following the semester I graduated if I wanted to continue my education
Nah son
user said it best

If you don't give a shit about others, then why do you give a shit that I told on that other student? I gave a shit because he was going to cheat his way through other tests as well. Maybe now he learned his lesson
>protip: he didn't

Sorry for not taking those shitty philosophy classes and learning all those fucking arguments. You can claim I'm arguing, but really just letting you guys know I'm not trying to change you guys, just letting you know that I felt good for not being a cheater like you guys.

>it sounds like you don't have any passion for what you're learning
Nah, math was and is the best thing that ever happened to me.

Hate to break it to you, but no one plays fair in reality.

I'm not even stating an argument, it's a claim. see

>Sorry for not taking those shitty philosophy classes and learning all those fucking arguments

Are you sure you're a college graduate? Using basic logic does not mean that I'm wasting my time on a four-year philosophy degree. I'm an engineering student.

>just letting you know that I felt good for not being a cheater like you guys

The irony is that, bar none, the people responding to you have never cheated. They don't like you because they can tell that you're an asshole, not because you're opposed to cheating.

>then why do you give a shit that I told on that other student?
I've spent a lot of time in the hood.
ergo
Appeal to authority is a bitch move.

do what thou wilt user.
bubba might still fuck your face with a shank.

Also this.

If you guys can't even use logic, how do you even use creativity in a productive way?

Sad.

>doing lab reports
>putting a lot of effort into producing a quality report
>lab partner contacts me
>says he'll finish the lab reports and turn them in
>we have to submit separate reports, so we agree that I'll keep doing what I'm doing - writing the "hard" parts, then I'll let him do the "easy" parts, paraphrase, and reformat the report
>seems like a good deal, but I should've known better
>fast forward to the end of the semester
>see him one day after the labs are over, I'm about to go check the grades on the reports
>he's acting awkward, unengaged, and just really seems like he doesn't want to talk to me
>blow it off, thinking its nothing
>get my hands on my reports, grades are on the last page
>looking over the work, see that there is no problem or marks over my sections
>get to the parts he was supposed to do
>Each part is literally one paragraph (a one paragraph conclusion, wtf negro?)
>grammar is awful, there is shit for any scientific reasoning and explanations
>parts are full of red marks
>dude didn't even reformat the reports
>get to the last page, says 0% - copied
>mfw every lab report is like this
>mfw no face for my face

tl;dr : If you want anything done the right way, do it your fucking self. I should've known better, but sometimes you have to learn the hard way

Want to go to grad school there for CS. Any tips for grad app?