Drunk Stories

what is the drunkest you have ever been? whether you remember the story or were told the day after. old thread was hilarious

I drank about 600 ml of hard liquor in the span of 30ish minutes? It wasn't so much funny, I went cold and I had to make myself breathe because it stopped happening on its own:

...

A picture says a thousand (slurred) words.

Ten years later and that pic still makes me laugh

That's you?

puked in my friends shower. was so ashamed I acted like I left but really I just slept in my car down the street. Lucky I didnt have the cops pull up or try to drive home or anything

Link to old thread if still archived?

The drunkest I've been? It happens when I'm home alone. I woke up several time having insulted the very few friends I had left on facebook, and they unfriended me. I woke up with blood on my face and various cuts from, presumably, falling on the ground. I woke up in the hospital with 3g/L and a pancreatitis.

Sometimes I pity you people

My first drunk experience. I'll even greentext it for you.

>be me
>16
>parents leave me alone at the house for new years eve
>find about 1/4 of captain morgan in one of the cabinets
>16 year old me knows nothing about potency or how to mix drinks
>proceed to drink it like it was water
>pass the fuck out
>wake up around 4 am
>bedroom floor is coated in a thick layer of greenish brown puke
>mfw
>somehow manage to clean it all up before parents get back
>spend the rest of the day experiencing my first hangover

Don't remember, too drunk

This one time I got blackout drunk at a friends house. I puked everywhere, broke a lightbulb by smacking it with my hand. broke a shotglass by slamming it on a table. I woke up at 4 AM and just walked home. I saw him the next day and I gave him $5 for the destruction i caused. hes a dumbass so he was just happy to get "free" money.

the last time I got blackout drunk I puked all over my apartment and then passed out. leaving my girlfriend to clean up my mess at 3 AM while she had work in the morning and I was a neet. suprisingly she didnt care that much.

It's from a food challenge youtube channel.

Dude all you have to do to clean that is run the water why did you hide in a car

It it was the last New Year's Eve and I had 8 shots with of screwdrivers and I followed it with 12 beers and 2 tallboys. I went around and kissed everyone at the party when New year's struck, and I made the rounds 5 times until people started telling me. I woke up drunk the next day at 7 to get to work at 8. It was Florida, so it was 75 degrees and sunny for the day I had to work through the hangover in the sun

Went to Lithuania with two other friends for the Halloween weekend a few years ago. I never drank so much in my life up until that moment: we emptied the fridge in our hotel room, drank the local good beer, drank their local vodka which didn't give any of us hangover. We arrived Friday morning to Kaunas and by the evening I was drunk enough to have forgotten I made out with two girls at different bars. Next day we go to Vilnius and get plastered at a downtown club, I find my self out of the place with a local chick then I get a cab and next thing I remember is waking up next to her in the morning. Best weekend ever, the currency exchange is great and food/drinks are very good there. My friends filled me out on the detail of those nights drinking probably 2 liters of beer, 3 cocktails, plus relative shots.

Bid day
>piss drunk in 30min
>puke from penthouse balcony
>don't remember how I get to the bar
>puke the entire time
>get who I hookup with sits on my lap
>puke more
>she leaves
>girlfriend shows up
>stop puking
>we hookup in the middle of the bar
>pledge brothers and actives encourage me because my girlfriend is attractive
>I still have puke in my mouth
>we both go back to my dorm
>class in the morning

I was thrown out of the original Pluckers in Austin TX because I was drunk as fuk and was stumbling around the restaurant talking to each table to inform them that I was the "Chicken Jesus" and that I required an indulgence from each table in the form of a wing. Apparently I succeeded and ended up acquiring 6 wings from different tables before I knocked over 2 tables with my drunken flailings and was unceremoniously kicked out of the establishment. Bad Night/10

I think the worst night was when I drank a fifth of Bacardi 151. Blacked out and woke up with a black eye and broken nose

Friend told me the following afternoon that I started a conversation with a couple down the street from me and made a joke about how this guy didn't have to worry about his wife ever being raped because she was "ugly as sin" and even a rapist has his limits.

Then the guy beat my ass and I went home and fell asleep in the bathroom in a pool of blood

Face was sore for 2 weeks

>drinking with friends/roommates at bar
>everyone gets a ride back home but me
>start trying to hitchhike
>car pulls up
>get in
>driver starts freaking out
>look behind us and see police lights flashing
>mfw the driver was stopping because he was pulled over and not to pick me up
>immediately get out of car
>police start yelling and pull out their guns
>eventually tell them what happened after they calm down
>they laugh and call me a dumb shit
>they let me go

Besides just blacking out?

>Halloween 2012
>In College
>Outgoing friend of mine who knows about every party invites me and another guy on my floor to come to "The Haunt"
>Dancing and drunk girls guaranteed
>I'm in
>No plans, no costume
>I'm a humanities faggot and dress up like Ernest Hemingway
>Am, soaking wet, 145 lbs.
>Anemic Hemingway
>Have bota bag full of shit wine, khaki shirt, and fake black mustache
>Literally Hitler
>Pregame
>Guy on floor asks me to grab water bottle of vodka from his room
>Drink half the bottle and fill rest with water
>Get on bus to go downtown
>Drunk before halfway there
>Bag big enough that I can get half a bottle in it and it's still not bulging
>Go into venue
>Already too drunk
>To drunk for game
>No game anyway
>Everyone thinks I dressed up like Hitler
>So drunk I can barely make conversation
>Drink content of bag, and smoke 1/2 pack of cigarettes in 2 hours
>Time to leave
>Head is spinning on the bus
>Close eyes
>Black out for a few minutes
>Wake up
>Biblical flood approaching
>Ohno.jpg
>Try to puke into bota bag
>puke on self
>Puke on bus floor
>Puke on friend
>I'd eating a gigantic serving of pasta with red sauce 5 hours ago
>Lapping deluge of red vomit soars and laps across the rubber floor of the bus
>I'm wrecking shoes and nights
>Bus driver sees this in mirror
>Asian international student has expensive chinos ruined with my acidic bile
>His expression of disgust burned into my memory
>Other guy on floor is Jewish
>Friend who brought me is black
>I am become Hitler
>Ushered off the bus by friend and floor-mate
>Puke small lake onto sidewalk
>Take another bus home
>Wake up in bed 10 hours later
>Go to lunch with friends,
>Another student talks about gigantic puddle of vomit they saw downtown
>Friend looks at me
>At this moment I knew
>I am the one who make the Rhine of Wine