Tips on lifting food from a buffet?

Sane difference

well technically, if you paid for the buffet you can take as much food as you can fit in a backpack, duffel bag or garbage bag. This is federally legal and has been for decades now. You paid for access to that food which was billed as a buffet, which means that he can eat as much as he wants to legally and that backpack of food comes with the 20$ he paid for the buffet. It's not thievery, that's predatory business practices and he would have grounds for a lawsuit were they to deny him that backpack of food.

all you can eat doesnt have anything to do with taking food from the restaurant

if you or anyone else is dumb enough to take that phrase literally then why not live there and eat 3 times a day for the rest of your life

I remember carrying three duffel bags of food from the buffet with my parents as a kid along with a cooler of crab legs.
They have camp out nights in the summer. It's like you've never been to a buffet before. They remove all the tables and chairs and you bring your tent or sleeping bags long with a flashlight.

Make a fat suit lined with Ziploc bags. You'll blend in with the other customers, and if the staff catches you, they'll be too impressed by your ingenuity to be upset.

I sincerely hope you get caught and tickled to death.

I tried stealing food from a chinese buffet once while I was in college. Didn't go very well at all

>go to chinese buffet with 2 roommates
>bring in a department store bag with tupperware containers and a T-shirt or two covering them
>server approaches table
>"So you guys been doing some shopping today?"
>we all 3 answer at once
>"Yes/No/Yes"
>"We shopped earlier but now we are done shopping now"
>server gives us quizzical look
>all servers in the restaurant watch us like a hawk the whole time
>manager walks by table several times acting like he's just checking on us but he's really just trying to catch us in the act
>eat, pay, leave
>heading to the car in parking lot
>server comes running out the door
>hands us our department store bag that we LEFT IN THE FUCKING BOOTH
>tupperware containers completely exposed
>embarassed.png
>can never return to that restaurant

Tldr - tried it once, completely botched it because dumbass

Absolutely pathetic. Get a fucking job.

I have a great job. That was years ago
>while I was in college

>tfw to intelligent too post on Veeky Forums

>All you can ""eat""
>I can ""eat"" the owner's change
>Proceed to shit it out the next day

Just made a cool 150$ legally!

Veeky Forums is weeb heavy and as we know all weebs are fucking stupid.

>
>I have a great job. That was years ago
>>while I was in college
Either you have a moral backbone or you don't. That's how it works.

*too. Too would be the correct usage here. Not "to" We are not going any where. Please be bait.

Cut him some slack. When I was in college, I once befriended someone who was black.

Stop trying so hard to fit in.

If you do enough squats and oats you can lift anything!

Ehh, it's a slow day.

Get over yourself, queer

My friend brings a backpack and a couple of tupperware and we sit in a secluded spot

Thieving peasant detected.

wow dude your so smart

Just take it slow and ideally have 2-3 people with you, used to do it when i was homeless, i'd wear a thin backpack underneath a big silent bob jacket, do the whole 'share my food' thing with all my friends just eating off eachothers plates, grab a bit here and a bit there in ziplock bag between my legs, lean forward and hunch over my meal so the big jacket covered peripherals and face away from any staffers in a corner.

Fill 4-5 ziplocks in 20 minutes, stuff them in inner pockets, head to bathroom stall, from pockets into backpack, got a solid weeks worth of food after 2 hours of 'eating.' Make sure you pick a good backpack though otherwise it'll all just lump at the bottom and you'll have a rather suspicious hunchback by the end of the night, i used some plywood board to stack it all pretty well.

It does mean all you can eat here chucklefuck.

whats your problem man

>i want to steal cheap, overcooked garbage that dozens of people have contaminated

You missed correcting the other to/too, it's spelled "anywhere", and you forgot a period after the sentence fragment "Not 'to'." Eat your shame and never correct grammar on Veeky Forums again.

Theft is the second most cowardly, bitchy crime behind poisoning somebody.

Is your mother slutty trash perchance?

>Threading your own post

Most buffette now allow you to buy food to go and they charge the same for anything by weight
It's more expensive than just eating there but less expensive than going to McDonalds.
Most of what you eat when you go there is cheap filler anyways, it's way better to just get a good serving of the good stuff and fuck off home

Wow
It isn't like I can't go eat somewhere thats far away from home enough that I know it's extremely unlikely I will have to set foot there again or than anyone will recognise me from somewhere

>All you can eat buffette
>Go there
>Waiter asks me what do I want to drink
>Tell her I won't be consuming anything they serve
>Take out Tupperware full off food I made at home
>All I can eat right?
>Before I leave I take a massive shit in their bathroom and i don't flush
>Since they didn't serve me anything they can't charge me anything

Great
I don't have a job at all so now that the tables have been turned I'm going to pay you a visit and take some of your shit for drug Money

usually with buffets you pay before you sit down but you probably dont know that since it sounds like you rarely leave the house

do people ever actually eat the pizza or seafood at a chinese buffet?

People love the crab legs if they have them.

Typically pizza at buffets goes uneaten in general, because its very dough heavy made to fill you up fast.

I'll grab some of the pizza if theres nothing really available. I know its really shit pizza, but when you go to a buffet the goal is to gorge, not eat whats good for you.

theres something about buffet pizza that I find disgusting and delicious at the same time
if im at a place like fresh choice I usually grab a couple pieces to dip in the soup, god tier

...

I knew this guy once who would just wear a big coat and put a couple of ziplock bags inside it for the food.

Holy shit what a bunch of retards you guys are.

Thanks everyone for the info.

look at how they're shoveling up the ...crab legs I'm assuming.. with their plates

that's so fucking disgusting. but with slants it doesnt fucking surprise me

are you a nigger OP?

this thread is diamonds

>tfw used to be the Buffet King of Thieves
>ziplock bag lined clothing
>motorized vacuum accessory in each sleeve
>crab-magnetic inner jacket
>insulated camelbaks on either hip
>foot pump operated
>mashed taytoes in one
>wonton soup in other
>hoovering up beef and broccoli, meatballs and skrimps
>open jacket over crab tray
>like batman WHOoMP all the crab legs fly in
>dumpling hat
>holds 74 dumplings, need to wait for refill pan to fill my hat
>grab 4(four) ice creams and waddle out the door
>throw down $8.99+$1 tip

heh...nothin personnel kid

Social grace doesn't really exist in a country with 20% of the world's population.

Why? If youre in a buffet you can eat all you want, thats the whole point of a buffet

You cant make this shit up

Gr8 b8 m8

Stoner Adventures

tangentilaly related
>freshman year in uni
>dining hall was OK food, most people had unlimited meal plan
>would see people stick pizza under thier shirts and backpacks and shit
>they allowed you to bring in waterbottles to take beverages with you on the way out
>people filled it with shit like 32 oz of coke and other garbage that costs pennies and act like they were sticking it to the man
>right next to the soda fountains was god tier juice choices (apple/grape/orange/pineapple/cranberry/lemonaid/limeaid, as well as tea blends and those lifewater things) that were completely ignored

people are dumb

I assume this is an american thing, in mexico stealing food or even having take outs on buffettes or cheap restaurants its like saying youre one poor fuck who can only afford a diner out once a year, fuck, ive never heard or seen someone stealing food from anywhere, shit is stupid

Anybody remember Gasmaster?

They don't work like that here but I guess your tiny town with two whole buildings is a big enough sample for you

I have e seen a fat woman do it once
If you want all you can eat pizza just go to a pizza buffette
It's worth it if you eat different kinds of it

>same shit at my uni
>tfw brought back 1L Nalgene bottles full of Passion Orange Guava/Limeade each time I went

All that liquid diabetes.

I've never been to a locally owned place that charges up front, just Golden Corral, which is a chain. I guess mid-westerners are more honest and trustworthy than the rest of the country.

Taking some food with you is pretty normal in a college dining hall, especially if it's something like an ice cream cone or piece of fruit you're going to eat right away. Doing it at a restaurant is not.

College students generally don't have alot of money or shame.

Why would they think that free takeout shit is shameful?

I eat the seafood and occasionally chicken nuggets and mashed potatoes (nugget day was my favorite in elementary and I'm pretty sure it's the exact same shit).

>>crab-magnetic inner jacket
+1 upvoted

Lol, we were high as fuck

Wear a burka and claim oppression if they try to stop you.

what's going on in this webm?
why are chinks so uncivilized?

You know, I have a friend who runs a chinese restaurant, and amazingly enough unless it's an entire backpack full of crab legs, he genuinely doesn't give a shit if you take a couple containers of fried rice, dumplings, chicken balls and some egg drop soup. The reason being is that once the food sits at the buffet for a while, it needs to be 'renewed' which means basically it goes into the back room and is then thrown the fuck out at the end of the day. I was amazed that he doesn't re-use it the next day to which he laughed and said, "We're a chinese restaurant. You get caught doing that shit and you're out of business."

In fact, he used to give food at the end of the day to the shelters and such locally, but the province won't let him do it any more because it's a liability. If someone were to get sick from it because it was served a day or two later and wasn't properly stored, they could be sued so now literally any unused buffet food has to be thrown out at the end of the day because it's sat out all day breeding bacteria anyway.

TL;DR: If you're not stealing 300 bucks worth of crab legs most places won't give a fuck if you take home a doggy bag. This is in Canada, though.

>tfw all you can eat buffet charges you more than everyone else for "extra seating accommodations"

>Go into buffete wearing burka
>Demand all pork be thrown out
>Have a friend waiting outside to grab the pork

I have a bottomless stomach, I rarely ever leave a buffet feeling like I didn't get my moneys worth

the type of person to do this is the type of food monster that would murder hometown buffet then show up again in 3 days

protip: the best buffets don't have crab legs or charge a premium over the regular buffet for them

what kind of nigger buffet place do you go to where they make you pre pay
in chink land having a bunch of expensive shit like crab leg then throwing it away mean you are a rich fag and would give you "face".

Bring tupperware. You'll need a shopping bag as well to make it look like you've just come from a day of buying things. Make sure you wait until the staff is out of sight, scoop food into tupperware, and you're good to go!

its 'For all intents and purposes'

...

It's not even an obscure meme, just accept it

Why didn't you use welfare I always hear about that being abused

What are you talking about my good friend?

...

How autistic are you?

>try to sneak some extra crab legs out with my buffet carrier-drone
>guard dogs shoot it out of the sky

i was at cici's the other day and there was this fat ass white trash couple there. the woman got up and filled her plate and the man didn't. after the woman came back he went up with his plate with a little bit of food on it and asked for a box. they gave it to him and him and the woman put the romans food into the box and left.

Allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go.
Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.

...

Just another day at Cici's. Those places have the second highest density of trashy people behind prisons and ahead of courthouses.

STAHP!

theres different forms of "welfare"

one is food stamps. homeless people easily qualify for a food stamp card, and its not hard to get one.

social security disability benefits are another story. many homeless get those benefits, about 1000 dollars per month, for issues like hearing voices etc. im not racist, but when i was an inner-city social worker, 90% of black people who received disability checks faked their symptoms, saying they heard voices when they really didnt, and spent that money on cocaine.

>90% of black people who received disability checks faked their symptoms, saying they heard voices when they really didnt, and spent that money on cocaine.
Maybe they hear voices because of the cocaine.

Ok, maybe thats true, but that still would disqualify them from receiving disability benefits.

Watch
youtu.be/jrwjiO1MCVs
for full instructions

maybe they hear voices because the materials used in government housing are cheap and subsidized so their walls are as thin as their will power (what causes them to be alcoholics, drug addicts, gamblers more than any other race etc.)

>homeless people easily qualify for a food stamp card, and its not hard to get one.

False.
In the vast majority of US counties (if not all), you must have an address in order to receive benefits. Homeless people must lie or figure out some way to use an address to do it. Seems counterintuitive and counterproductive, yes?

To the same ends, if you are broke and have no job, you cannot get cash assistance benefits either. You need to have bills and show *some* kind of income.

THANKS OBAMA