ITT: Post times you've cooked like The Joker

>Recipe says to stir occasionally
>I stir constantly

>recipe says to separate the egg whites and beat them into stiff peaks before folding them back in
>crack the whole egg in as is

...

>use almond milk for cereal instead of regular

MOMS

What?

>microwave meal says to stir halfway through, recover and put back in
>i just put it in for full amount all in one

Please post your cartoon girls on the correct board.

SOMEBODY LOCK THESE MADMEN UP AND THROW AWAY THE KEY

>Get a zona, can says to shake before opening
>Open without shaking

Savage

God in heaven!

Maybe reddit would suit you better

>Be birthday one year
>Decide to make some macaroni and cheese
>Don't have any of the regular Kraft mac
>Decide to improvise
>Get a large bag of regular macaroni that we had in the cupboard
>Get some parmesan and shredded cheddar out of the fridge
>Cook up the macaroni, strain it
>Add all of this shredded cheese to the mix and expect something to happen
>It doesn't
>End up with this large amount of vile, greasy, half-melted pasta
It was awful. I ended up having no choice but to eat all of it over the course of a few days. It was even worse after being reheated.

>cooking minute rice
>cook for 59 seconds instead

>"let sit for 3 minutes before serving"

DAMAGED

Step your game up, son.

>recipe calls for a tablespoon of butter
>use 3, and a good amount of leftover bacon fat

>put down a totinos party™ pizza
>cover it in pizza rolls
>throw down another tpp on top of that face down
>ate with a knife and fork

Lolno
Suck my dick queer

>microwave frozen chocolate chip waffle for 30 seconds
>wrap it around a snickers, sort of like a hot dog bun
>top it with whipped cream and chocolate syrup

pretty gud desu

>final step in cooking directions is "enjoy!"

>I dont

>offer guest a glass of coke
>give him pepsi instead
HE ACTUALLY DRANK IT.

>drop a massive turd in the toilet
>use the half flush button
I PRESSED IT TWICE

>making some ramen
>put in some pop tarts and fudge'
>nuke it

>cake asks for 3 eggs
>put 4 eggs in

>Be kid of 11 or something
>Mom is having a lot of bloating
>Doc thinks it is lactose intolerance
>A month without milk for her to see if it helps
>She switches out milk in her cereal to grapefruit juice
>I make her coffee one morning
>Usually takes milk
>Grapefruit juice it is!
>She spat it across the room
>Said thank you, tough

5/7 would read again

Joey threads are kill

this bullshit still exists

okay.jpg

>recipe asks for Coke
>use Diet Coke

>Making roast chicken
>Use Pork

Call the cops

>Using Captain Morgan to haze instead of Admiral Nelson

You've just unnecessarily exposed yourself to radiation. Please do not do that anymore.

>friend hanging out
>Go get a glass of coke
>Only one clean glass
>Give him coke in a dirty glass

that's outright adorable

>recipe calls for turkey
>use chicken instead

>complaining about anime images on a vietnamese sock knitting forum

>mug says it's not dishwasher safe
>wash it in the dishwasher anyway

>shit in a pan
>fry it to see what happens
>the room gets filled with fart smell and the shit is crusted to the bottom of the pan
>scrape out the shit
>make pan fried tilapia in the same pan without washing

>making spaghetti bolegnese
>use spirals instead

>"top with fresh chives and serve"
>Don't

>be well trained coffee snob
>friend uses meme press at home
>comes to my house wanting espresso
>give him warm cup of fresh diarrhea
>he says it's the best coffee he's ever tasted
I DIDN'T EVEN FROTH UP THE MILK

post times you've shitposted like the joker
>take /tv/ forced meme
>spam it on other boards

did it mustarded

I don't get the whole spaghetti bolognese meme.

You are supposed to use pasta with waves, folds, curls, or holes with chunky sauce and strait pasta for creamy sauces

Why does Spaghetti get a free pass?

Italians tried to teach whiteys to cook

>steal roommate's hungry man tv dinner
>chicken panties and mac and cheese
>box says to microwave for two minutes and then remove chicken
>then to stir the mac and cheese and then microwave again for another two minutes
>do all of these instructions carefully except
>I don't stir

HUNKA HUNKA

...

>replaces one sugary drink with another
M A D M A N
A
D

M
A
N

>Recipe tells me to add beef stock
>Add Knorr Beef Stock Pot instead

JUST TRY IT

Funny, but this should not be legal though.
When a person avoids a food, it can sometimes be an allergy. I was force fed shit like this constantly, at 23 diagnosed with autism, a heart murmur, sunlight allergy and fifteen other things not previously present.
Don't be the person that is so cheap they can not find another cheap food that the child will eat.

>recipe says pre-heat the oven for an hour
>I do it for sixty minutes instead

>2016
>using microwave time

>best before x
>eat it at midgnight the day it expires

>autism
>not previously present
Are you one of those retards who also thinks vaccines cause autism?

Possibly but I am autistic so you know..