God-tier jobs

Offshore oil and gas, only work 6 months a year. month on month off. 350k a year.

its true

3 12 hour shifts

nurses work three 12 hours shifts per week. truthfully, after you give report to the oncoming nurse, its actually about 13 hours a day, but you get paid for every single minute you are on the clock because its literally a hospital liability if you are performing duties without being on the clock.

nursing school take 18 months and an associates degree.
doctor takes 8 years of school if you want to be a pleb doctor and 10-12 years if you want to be a god-tier specialist. in those 10 years i could make $650k meanwhile you will be NEGATIVE $200k in student loans.

>sticking a catheter up old men's dicks

no the CNA's do that shit.
nurses occasionally have to clean shit but desu the mexican immigrant CNA's who speak broken english are the ones who have to the the shit and piss work while we chart or give meds.

>65k
>lots of money

actually sounds alright, but i gave up on wanting to be a nurse when i found out you literally have to clean up after gross people.
i'd rather not.

>occasionally have to stick a tube in a guys dick for $35/hr
>sweat in a kitchen making mcwhoppers for $7.85/hr
i choose the dick every time man.

>nurses
>hot bitches
yeah I wish

Not in the Bay Area.

Practically impossible to become a nurse because it has been pumped hard as fuck that there’s a shortage so everyone is fomo’ing in to becoming a nurse and soon there will be too many nurses to go around and now the shortage is jobs.

I’ll pass on wiping dried shit crumbs out of the crevices of Demented old people

Props to whoever can do that. Would rather be poor

are you a manager or something?

see
im not going to lie and say you'll never have to wipe an ass. but the majority of nurses just call the CNA on duty and be like hey will you come clean up mr jones.

plus if you work in the ER there are no showers, no diapers, because by time they need that shit they've already been transfered to the floor and not your responsibility.

top lel

bay area pays insanely well so everyone flocks there

barrier for entry as a new grad is insane

private for-profit colleges literally RAPING students pockets with promise of $60/hr

truth is bay area will only hire nurses with experience

which is why you go to school at a cheap community college out of the area, work at a hospital to get 1-3 years experience, then transfer back into bay area, make $90/hr and live with roomates for a couple years while you bank your earnings.

not on the med surg floors but in the ER and ICU theres mad fine girls.

Na just a deck officer on the rig tender.

sshit sucks dude hospitals are shitholes with the dumbest management, you will get ptsd from how terrible your patients are, holy hell, 12 hours will wipe you out so days off won't even feel great

Most nurses I know hate dealing with asshole patients and are stressed out.

You could be an accountant. We work 60 hours a week, for 60k a year, with virtually no possibility for career advancement.

that's the easy part. you've got gowns and gloves and masks, and most of it is being done by assistants. it won't faze you at all. it's the time pressures, the amount of bullshit paperwork and compliance, the insane demands of management and patients, shit staffing, no real influence on your work environment.
i wish the job involved wiping more shit, if anything. dealing with psychos and the insane amount of suffering and indignity etc you have to work around is what gets to you.

Real male nurse here, it's true. I work 5 days every 2 weeks:
Week 1-Fri, Sat, Sun
Week 2-Sat, Sun

lets be honest when you work an 8 hour shift that day is basically gone.

so you can waste 5/7th of your life at work or 3/7th of your life at work.

i'd rather have the days off mate. 40 years from now when im old and decrepid, and all the "stress" you mention has long since faded from memory --- which is going to be more heartbreaking, me having wasted 5/7th of my life working or 3/7th?

nurse

are u a faggot?

lol 40 years of nursing will destroy your mind, body, or soul, unless you maneuver into a 'cushy' gig, which itself will be soul sucking in its own way. your back, feet, knees will take on stress no matter what you do, it's one of the highest risk professions in terms of workplace violence. 12 hours of massive responsibility and unpredictability will leave you wiped the fuck out.

and everyone thinks your a pussy beta cuck whose job is for women

65k is elementary school teacher tier. lol.

oh and i forgot to mention in the OP:

>night owl? congrats, get an immediate 20% raise for night differential.
>weekend worker? most hospitals pay extra for weekends
>weekend nights? $$$$

guarantee thats why this user does it ^

>workplace violence
yeah that statistic is garbage because of two reasons:
1. girls are targets for violence because they are small and weak therefore dumb drugged niggers take a swing at them in the ER
2. girls also report dumb shit as violence when it really isnt

guy nurses dont get that shit. dumb druggy nigger thinks twice about perveying violence on a male we arent as easy of targets

most weekends shifts are required. i.e work every other weekend, or at least 2 weekends per month. there is a bonus for nights yeah, but again, you'll be destroying your health and you're stuck with even less resources overnight. less core staff, less ancillary staff, doctors don't want to be paged, etc.

>having to deal with sick/fat people, many of who are entitled and/or retarded, all day

I work peds brah, I love children. The worst part is that 30% of my day is devoted to dealing with the parents, the parents are annoying retards. The stupidity of the average parent in America absolutely amazes me.

Male peds nurses are a rare commodity. Props man. I’m in ER. I wouldn’t hate working peds but yeah I imagine the parents are easily the worst part.

Enjoy being assaulted by deranged hobos and gang bangers in ER.

help the sick, miserable and dying every working hour... worth the upsides?

I like kids a lot, but i dont think i could handle seeing some of the extreme stuff in that area. kids suffering, seeing shitty/abusive families up close (it's sad/awkward even with adult patients' families).

Nurse on europe here.
If you like talking to people its literally a dreamjob.
Plus nursery is expanding like hell here and invading works that doctors used to do.

yeah i have considered nursing abroad. much less money, but i'd rather make less money and deal with a much nicer patient population (by every metric)

How any peds oncology nurses believe in god is beyond me

What's the different between nurse and physicians assistant? I have a bachelors at 28 and currently at home trying to figure out what I want to do now.

Was thinking of being a PA, but sticking people with needles and whiping shit all day...I donno man.

However, all the other stuff about diagnosing, charting, checking pulses, all that stuff seems chill.

> meh
> just manage hedge funds

You have gloves and gowns and masks. Tbh after you do it a couple times it’s not even bad. PA is way harder to be than a nurse and they only make marginally more. Unless you go into specialty like dermatology you can make bank but very competitive.

>dealing with fats, niggers, and beans every day
i'd rather be poor

You forgot to add
>be murican
at the beginning.

Where I come from nursing is one of the shittiest tier jobs you could imagine. Salary is way below average.Most of nurses are uneducated elderly women. They are also working 60hours/week or so.

Also...
>Being a men nurse.

>male nurse stigma
it somehow fits with the current generation. not taking pot shots either. it has become a necessity of sorts to take up whatever job is available and that pays well.

I fix govt people's outlooks and group policies for $35/hour. Comfy now, comfier later when the pension vests

obviously we're talking about advanced nations, not romania or whatever.

I am a sort of nurse and work nightshifts at psych wars. 10 your shifts, and I work when I want. 7 shifts a month is enough to Get by comfortably. At work writing this. Great job.

did you go to school for your license?

Yes. I am an actual nurse (don't know about op) and you of have to do this..... until you get a better job. Once you have the experience to work in any acute unit you no longer have to clean up shit. I haven't taken a patient to to the toilet for fucking years

Currently in nursing school and working as a patient sitter to earn my beer money. It's comfy as fuck desu. I get to sit in a room 1 on 1 with batshit crazy people for 12 hours straight. I've learned that I'm actually an extremely patient person and I know if I can handle 12 hours of that I can handle pretty much anything nursing throws at me.

When i was a Tech I had to sit bakers all the time. Pretty relaxed shit desu. On phone watching dragonball z all day

>he enjoys his work dealing with sick and dying children and their incredibly distraught family
i take it back, you are a sick motherfucker

>wipe shit for cash
no thanks

>65k a year.

lmaoing at ur life.

Nurses are just faggots who couldnt be doctors. Enjoy cleaning up that patients shit loser. Make sure you wipe right in the crack

65k is not bad... are there any jobs over 70k that you don't work like a fucking dog?

Shits comfy desu. Oh and I have a qt 3.14 virgin nursing school gf.
Enjoy always being on call and having your kids hate you because you're never around. Maybe you can buy their love?

But then you'll be a male nurse...

>have rich dad that runs hospital
>he funds my street racing career
>the harder you wageslave, the more money I have into sink in my hobby

LMOAing at your life senpai

Working with a bunch of qt 3.14's. As long as you work ED or ICU and are good looking and charismatic, you'll be rolling in pussy.

>be good looking and charismatic

Right which is the same in any situation retard

Yes but you won't be literally surrounded by them all day.

>As long as you are good looking and charismatic, you'll be rolling in pussy.
Fixed that for you

Yeah, because living in any college town is prohibitively expensive? Sounds like a cope. Being a nurse does not sound good, even if you are a turbo chad.

It's not perfect sure, but it's pretty fucking comfy and you'll never be bored in some cubicle.

i grew up in the fishing industry off the coast of Australia when i got my sea time went to school did my tickets and was lucky to find myself on a ships crew through my local marine college.

Most of your coworkers are going to be women so you are going to have to carry their weight. I can't imagine that being a good position.

Not even half right you dumb faggot. Nurse work culture is unique in that if you are consistently requiring others to pull your slack you will be repremanded/fired/hated. Helping is one thing but lazy is not tolerated.

Or be born in europe, get a bachelor in cs for free, finish your masters while working and then earn eqv to burgerland around 105k a year straight of a grad while being just 23

It's not, you have to listen to childbirth stories and period shit for 50k a year. I regret not going into engineering

Yeah, not worth it honestly. The healthcare industry is terrible to work in, i've been working in it for 10 years. I laugh when people say how great working 3 days a week is, when you work 3 days in a row for 12hrs things get old fast. The other thing is yes the pay is decent but, you need to consider why you are payed so well. I'll admit yes there is a shortage of RN's, this is not the sole reason for the pay. You are payed to be nice and friendly, you are payed to put up with someone being an asshole to you for 12hrs straight all the while with a smile on your face. Then you get to deal with the culture of the organization, and your coworkers. The organizational culture depends on how long they have been working in the red and how deep they are. If its been for a while expect supervisors/management to be breathing down your neck about every decesion/action you take regarding the pt's under your care. They need to maximize reimbursement from the pt's insurance, if you stand up to someone, it decreases their experience which hurts the bottom line. You also will need to fit in with your fellow nurses, if you do not expect to be isolated and not accepted. There's a reason for the phrase "nurses eat their young", reasearch workplace harrasment/bullying in healthcare. It's astounding the amount of reasearch that has been done on it. Basically if you think Veeky Forums is bad, it's tame in comparison to the toxcity people can experience in healthcare.

So you are actually proud that you get to wipe shit from old people?

>tfw doctor
>tfw $400000 a year immediate income, and I invest 25% of it into various vehicles
>Tfw nocoiner so no stress

Well, if I think about the fact that nurses in Germany only earn around 25-30k € a year and have to work 5 days a week...

Yeah no, you're living a dream compared to that.

Get fucked Ry

What the fuck. This is actually kind of making me think of being a male nurse. I've never even thought of this before but one of my passions is wanting to help people.. I'm currently majored in cyber security.. wtf.. what's my first step to becoming a male nurse??

head golf professional at private club
250k a year work 8 months
teach ppl how to play golf

If you aren't a people person don't do it senpai. You have to be able to put up with absolute bullshit for 12 hours at a time.

>lifting 350 lb kangs and queens on the daily knowing you're paying for them to be there through medicaid and other big go programs
Rhoning your health for that
Kek

I thought CS people got paid shit in Europe?

how do you only work 3 days a week?

>working 3 12 hour shifts straight is hard
mate get a hold of yourself, you live in a fantasy land. and people are meanies at work??? pathetic. before you ask ill tell you i work in the oil industry holy shit it would make quick work out of you

they do he's larping

Maybe after 10 years at the top of your game... I have two friends who graduated from top tier med schools and have interned at the best in the country... I make more than double in my sales job

Bullshit. There's no way you're making $30-35 with an associate's degree as an LPN. There's no way you're paying $30 per month for insurance. KYS LARPfag

thought so, graduating from 6th best cs school in America and I really don't want to go work in Bay Area, but the offers there are insane. I just want a qt German/French wife without being a europoor

This is very correct, basically the ire of everyone is pointed at who is precieved as being "lazy". Lazy is determined by how big a workload you have. You can have 1 pt during a shift that is very acute/sick that needs your full attention. Since you only have one 1 pt and your coworkers may have 2-3 depending on how sick/acute the pt's they are dealing with are. You will be seen as lazy since you have 1 and they have more than you. The final outcome of the pt mean nothing to them, they will remember that time you had 1 pt and they had to deal with more. If your pt starts going down hill and you need an extra set of hands/eyes to help facilitate care of your pt, you will then be seen as an idiot for needing help taking care of 1 pt. It's sad really but, this is the healthcare enviroment.

I hate you blue collar Australian bogans all making 300k being retards that one a lottery ticket in life.

>65k

in my area nurses make maybe 40k

Or you can be a remote developer and make 100k a year anywhere in the world with an internet connection and work in your underware if you want.
People do not understand code and think it's magic so if you are in any way proficient you can work like 20 hours a week or less and make it seem like 40+

>coal sampler
>can make up to 2k a week depending on how many shifts i take
>dont even work afternoon or night shift which pays even more
>high volume but not too stressful

could be worse i guess. ive only been there a few months and have been doing the most demanding job (apparently) so anything i do after this will be chill as fuck

Retail can be pretty comfy depending on the company. Avoid CVS and Walgreens. I pulled in about $160k last year (135k base + 15k bonus + 10k company stock).
I work mostly 12 hour shifts too, but it's kinda shitty when volume picks up in flu season.