Almost burned down my apartment building

I really don't know how to cook. I decided to try to caramelize some onions so I could make a cheesesteak. I was following this simple recipe:
simplyrecipes.com/recipes/how_to_caramelize_onions/

I coated the bottom of a pot like pic related with olive oil and started to cut up some onions in a different room. About 3 minutes after I put pot with the olive oil on the stove, my smoke alarm started going off. I went into the kitchen and there was smoke everywhere and the pot was on fire. I sprayed with the fire extinguisher, and saved my life. But, now there is smoke all over apartment and I'm really embarrassed. What did I do wrong? Why did it catch on fire? I thought olive oil was made to cook with, so why the fuck would it catch on fire?

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you had the heat too high and your oil ignited, dipshit
you left the kitchen while something was on the burner, dipshit
i'm surprised you learned to use a computer
i think i've been baited

olive oil has a relatively low smoke point. you can cook with it but it's still OIL which BURNS. you had the heat on way too high especially considering there was nothing in the pan.

also the wrong kind of pan for caramelizing onions, you want something much wider and shallower.

why would you cut onions in a different room in the first place?

Something new cooks really need to learn to do is to not turn on any flame until your entire meal is prepped. You're not good enough to manage your time like that just cut shit before time

Also olive oil has a low smoke point you don't fry in olive oil you use vegetable oil or something.

You left a pot unattended is what you did wrong.

You do not heat up your oil until you are ready to put something in it and you do not leave the room. Depending on your heat source it could only take 20 seconds to heat the oil.

Olive oil also has a low smoke point meaning it will start smoking and burn at a lower temperature than other oils

You left the oil unattended (first mistake)
You let it overheat
Oil stared boiling, going everywhere
Then the hot oil touched the fire

Thank Dog that you did not use water to put it out

>you had the heat too high and your oil ignited, dipshit
I don't remember how high it was, but it was probably pretty high I guess

>you left the kitchen while something was on the burner, dipshit
So I'm supposed to sit in the kitchen and watch onions caramelize for 30 minutes? Why would someone do that?

>i'm surprised you learned to use a computer
I'm a CS major

>i think i've been baited
I wish. I'm lucky to be alive

>why would you cut onions in a different room in the first place?
I have no room to cut them in my kitchen. I just moved in and don't have a table in there yet so I went into the common room.

>Thank Dog that you did not use water to put it out
I panicked at first and almost put it under the sink. Then I remembered my training from 8th grade home ec and grabbed the fire extinguisher. Thank you based mrs Zotnyia

>So I'm supposed to sit in the kitchen and watch onions caramelize for 30 minutes? Why would someone do that?

So you don't burn your house down dumbass.

Clean dishes, work on another part of the meal, listen to music, play on your fucking phone, just be attentive.

not to mention there was nothing in the fucking pot in the first place, and yet you walked away

Not OP. Should canola oil ignite when I only have the heat on 5? I guess I was an idiot for cutting peppers while the oil sat there. But I thought with it only at 5/10, the canola oil would be perfectly fine.

Don't worry, I'm never cooking again. I know how to cook chicken on the stove, so I'm just gonna eat chicken from now on. I will remember to watch the stove from now on

Use a proper shallow, heat distributing pan and a lot of butter. Keep temperature medium to high and keep turning occasionally.

I have no idea how you could have such difficulty with something so simple, though. Fuck only knows what would happen if you tried a roux pastry.

Why doesn't olive oil come with a warning label? They will sell that shit to anyone and not everyone knows how deadly it can be.

The trick is to stop heating your oil when you are not ready for it.

Prep whatever is going in the pot/pan first and then heat your oil and add your ingredients. Then if you have more to add cut them next.

The smoke is starting to make its way out of the apartment. It was fucking everywhere. My smoke alarm was loud as fuck too and kept going off after I pressed the stop it. I wonder what the people upstairs think. I wonder why they didn't come down to save me.

That's a loser's attitude. We've all fucked up cooking.

Stay at it son.

>confused as to why the smoke detector keeps going off when surrounded by smoke

I am seriously doubting you are a CS Major.

Also, when I lifted it off the stove, the flames got bigger for a split second (scared the shit out of me). Then when I sprayed it with the fire extinguisher, there was like a burst of fireball and then the fire was just gone. Why did that happen? Also what would have happened if I put it under the sink?

Okay. I guess the best lesson to learn from this is to never leave something on the stove and go into another room, right? That rule doesn't apply to things in the oven though, does it?

Nigguh, anyone can play Counter Strike

Smoke Alarms is a graduate course.

>5
the numbers/marks on cooking devices are largely meaningless unless they're actual temperature listings. a 'medium' or '5' on one device might be a hundred degrees more or less than another.

Holy fucking shit. I would have fucking died.
youtube.com/watch?v=3LWYXJvU7yM

That's pretty hard to watch right now.

Speak for yourself.

I've never fucked up anything I've cooked.

then you've fucked up but never experimenting and learning in the kitchen. you can just follow directions well. congratulations dog

Nope. I experiment plenty. Never fucked up once.

Stay pleb.

Yes. How many times do you need it repeated?

They dont assume 12 year olds or adults with the brains of a fucking 12 year old are cooking anymore more than toast

It's a troll thread idiots, stop responding

Just find a girlfriend who can cook or get healthy takeout

nah, senpai

>So I'm supposed to sit in the kitchen and watch onions caramelize for 30 minutes? Why would someone do that?
Probably so they don't burn their house/apartment down

Just pull up some music or YouTube videos and spend that time making some sides

...

I can't afford either

> I decided to try to caramelize

i stopped reading there. Shit like this happens to the best. Just learn from your mistakes. Never let the stove without supervision.

>I lack the self awareness and palate to know when I have fucked up: The post

I TOT OIL WUH FO COOKING??? U MEAN OIL CAN GET *TOO* HOT??? WHAT???????

WHAT???

WHATS NEXT, WATER BURNS?? AIR BURNS????????

All the electric stoves I've used have been ridiculously hot. I use 3 or 4ish when sauteing and 1ish when simmering.

"Hmm, I'll just crank the heat as high as it will go and then leave a pan full of oil unattended for several minutes!"

Come on dude. Why do people always think hotter = better when cooking? And you can't use a saucepan for frying stuff.

How in the world did somebody like you manage to get a CS degree?
But hey lesson learned, we all fuck up the simplest things sometimes and the only thing we can do is to learn and move on

It's part of my job to test fire alarms and I have yet to see someone to actually give a single fuck when it comes to fire alarms

this
leaving hot oil sitting around is asking for trouble

My biggest question is why you left the kitchen to cut the onions? What were you doing, cutting onions at your computer or in front of the TV? Just use your kitchen counter, that's what it's there for. If you can't last long enough to cut an onion without getting bored, see your doctor about ADHD or something, christ.

If you tell me you were at the computer, cutting onions while watching "how to cut onions" on youtube, that will be the saddest thing I have ever heard.

I literally have no room in my kitchen to cut the onions at the moment. I just moved in and need to get a table in there.

>If you tell me you were at the computer, cutting onions while watching "how to cut onions" on youtube, that will be the saddest thing I have ever heard.
This is actually pretty close to what happened. I was in my bedroom looking at the recipe when the smoke alarm went off. I don't know what exactly I was looking at, but I had just finished cutting the onions, so it wasn't that.

>If you can't last long enough to cut an onion without getting bored, see your doctor about ADHD or something, christ.
That wasn't the issue. But watching them caramelize for a half hour does not seem like something I would enjoy. I didn't plan on staying in the kitchen the whole time. When I cook chicken or turkey, I don't pay close attention to the burner. Then again there is no oil in the pan when I cook chicken or turkey, but I will be watching it from now on. It's also the first time I have ever cooked with oil and I've only ever used a gas stove since I moved in to this apartment.

In the end, it's probably a good thing this happened. I'm still alive and the apartment didn't burn down, and I've learned from my mistake. Even though most of you guys were kinda assholes (I know I deserve it), I appreciate the advice.

>So I'm supposed to sit in the kitchen and watch onions caramelize for 30 minutes?
The first few times, when you learn how it works? YES

Just like how you can fuck up a casserolle by trusting the heat retention, literally burn noodles once the water is evaporated, and literally letting oil catch on fire.

the fuck did you try cooking anything like that when you still suck at cooking you idiot.

beginner cooks are always amping the heat too fucking high, you're no exception.
walking away before you knew what to expect was also probably stupid.
i've set the kitchen on fire before so just get over it and take your lumps for fucking up.

>Going to a board wehere people literally argue about taste
>Not expecting an autism fest

>watch onions caramelize for 30 minutes
You don't have to stand there gazing inside the pot the whole time. Just hang about nearby and check in every few minutes.

Stop using oil to cook at high heat with. Oil is shit tier. There's a reason French cuisine is predominantly butter-orientated when it comes to pretty much everything and especially frying and sautéing. It's much, much, much easier to control heat with. Unless you want to flambé or need to flash fry, don't use oil. Especially not for lower heat sautéing.

> goat-tier gas
> a fire
For shame.

>WHATS NEXT, WATER BURNS?? AIR BURNS????????

>There's a reason French cuisine is predominantly butter-orientated

Because the French love to gargle thick cream?

>Stop using oil to cook at high heat with.
The people saying beginners like to cook at high heat are right. I always do that because it saves time. I'm going to stop doing that now, as well. Another lesson learned.

Yeah, time saving is completely reasonable but good cooking is something that requires effort and accrued skill. Once you get more, you can learn to cut corners.

I can not suggest more highly that equipment is everything. You can get a lot more control and less hassle with more premium pans, etc. You might pay a bit more but they make everything less of a headache.

Also, as a tip, you always learn through trial and error and cooking can become very instinctive. Maybe take a day to trial out different things at different heats. Just observing, whether it works or not will teach you a lot.

Don't best yourself up about this. You did learn something so that makes you part of the craft. The rest will come in time.

Nice thread. Good laughs and good OP.

Personally when I was a beginner I always cooked way too low because i'm a little sissy bitch and I was scared of fucking up and hurting myself.

Same. I was shit at frying.

Olive oil has a very low smoke point. Extra virgin olive oil (which you shouldn't be using for shit like this anyway) has an even lower one. Don't heat olive oil when you aren't in the room.

Only Extra-virgin has the low smoke point. Normal "olive oil" is refined. It has a high smoke point.

>>Don't heat olive oil when you aren't in the room.

Fuck, don't heat ANY kind of oil if you aren't in the room.

Butter burns much more easily than oil with the possible exception of EVOO which anyway shouldn't be used for frying.

>Only Extra-virgin has the low smoke point. Normal "olive oil" is refined. It has a high smoke point.
That I did not know.

>Fuck, don't heat ANY kind of oil if you aren't in the room.
Certainly not in an empty pan.

>a girlfriend who can cook

if your stove is on and heating something up you should be right in front of it watching it closely

try doing some prep before you hit the stove so you don't have to leave fampai

best of luck to you and try not to burn down your place again

grease fire. oil too hot. Once it gets up there the oil aerosolized and caught fire