Retarded cooking memes

>nobody took the bait in my shitty rehashed troll thread that's now on the 5th page
>better repost an even shittier version of it

You're "on point" with that argument, hehe

>"rustic"
"Half of the dish is burned, the other half is raw"
>"deconstructed"
"I found the ingredients and didn't know how to actually prepare them"
>"earthy"
Legitimate term
>"artisanal" anything
"Be sure to try our Artisan GMO-free, gluten-free, free-range Iced Mocha Caramel Coconut Vanilla Cinnamon Pumpkin Latte!"
>"umami"
Also legitimate, the term does sound a bit dumb, though.

isn't "earthy" just another way of saying it tastes like dirt?

>blackened

>all natural
>x% more than y brand
>low sodium (in a drink)
>umami

also:
bacon
pumpkin spice
sriracha
pretzel/chibada bun
nutella
and your mother

Everything is way too sweet in America, the balance is better in other countries

>Chibada
The hell is that?

Says the guy who visited one place in one town.

i think he meant ciabatta.

this

fuck spelling.

fuck it in the niggers.

...

best versions I've heard explained:

>rustic
bread baked in a dutch oven
> deconstructed
never seen anything good come from this.
>earthy
mushroomy is a good example of this flavor, I think???
>artistanal
I think this just means not factory-made.. but that's all
>umami
sounds weird, but it's legit, yeah

how can white men even compete?

Nope, artisanal literally doesn't mean anything. Just sounds fancy.

I bet you don't even put pineapple on your pizza you pleb.

>I meat feast please! I love eating cereal and rusk off my pizza!

umami wasn't annoying until white people kept fucking saying it

Lived with 2 fucking roommates who fancied themselves "artisan' cooks. the dunning kruger effect was strong with these two morons. They also said umami so often that each time I hear it now, I want to push in someone's eyes with my thumbs until death takes them.

kys
artisanal means that the product is made in some kind of old timey way, be it lack of mechanisation, no labour division or an old technique of creating the product

>rtisanal means that the product is made in some kind of old timey way, be it lack of mechanisation, no labour division or an old technique of creating the product
No it doesn't, retard.

my old roommates were self proclaimed foodies and obsessed with the word and whatever fuck taste it was. they started to throw shitty food tasting parties and would always ask people "you probably taste sweet and salty...but do you taste something else you can't explain?" and they would educate these poor fucks about umami and what it was.

and me being the asian guy would mean they'd ask 24/7 about "your peoples foods" and miso and fish sauce.

jesus christ every time i see a hipster with glasses at a restaurant talking about the taste of the food they're eating mixed with guy fieri-like descriptions, i want to end the world.

>a new dimension of hell exists
holy fuck dude seek a therapist and sue them for PTSD triggered by food

artisan

1
: a worker who practices a trade or handicraft : craftsperson

2
: one that produces something (as cheese or wine) in limited quantities often using traditional methods.

It doesn't necessarily mean quality, but as a rule of thumb, industrial products will seek price over quality while artisanal, being more expensive already due to salaries, will aim for quality as a sale argument.
It still can be a scam for hipsters.

>he doesn't like tsukudani

>Salted *sweet food*

This is part of the reason i hate people.

>ctrl+f
>no pic related