How to quickly dispose a dead body using common household objects...

How to quickly dispose a dead body using common household objects? I cant really leave my house right now without being suspicious.

crush bones with hammer
cut their life into pieces with kitchen knives
separate into many different garbage bags and
drop them in randomly spread out garbage cans nearby

What if some neighbor see me doing that last part? I don't want to attract more shit around me.

cut it into pieces and put them in trash bags you dumbfuck

Cut it up, cook the parts, eat them over several days and poop away the evidence, then crush the bones into bonemeal as above and flush it or spread it around on plants

what's so bad about putting out garbage?

I'm gonna get pretty sick if i do that right now.

I think someone may find out, i need to dispose it quickly.

Why? If you murdered somebody eating them is hardly descending any further, it'll provide you nutritious protein for days, at least if you overcook the body parts they'll burn and be easier to dispose of

Smells so goddamn bad, i'm not a fucking cannibal.

Just a murderer? Come on m8 it's an incredibly efficient way to do it, add some spices maybe soy sauce

Just put in the rubbish you retard.
A bag of people is pretty indistinguishable from a bag of chicken carcasses from the outside.

What? Fuck no, what is wrong with you?

That was one of the first things that i thought, but i was expecting to manage some another way not THAT obvious.

Why the fuck would you be throwing away 60kg of chicken carcasses

Have you got any bleach? Chop up body parts in a bath then fill it up with hot water and bleach, it'll pulp the body if you keep the temps up and shouldn't smell too bad if you have plenty of bleach

Because buying 20 litres of bleach is way less suspicious than just taking out the rubbish.

>he doesn't buy whole chickens and save the carcasses to bulk make his own stock
Enjoy your flavourless soups.

I don't really have a lot of bleach, but i have a lot of general cleaning stuff, like soap and this kind of stuff.

Well it's the hot water that will basically boil the body, the bleach is just to aid with it and stop it stinking, if you have a kettle even better then you can take it apart and put the heating components into the bath to keep it hot

Wait, what? Can i just boil everything up? How much time you think it will take?

You can, I'm not sure how long it'd take to pulp everything but you could flush mushy parts, the bones will still need to be smashed

I will try it right away, but what about the bones and stuff?

Smash them to as fine a powder as possible but preferably in a bag so as not to lose any, then flush that too if its fine enough or mix it up with sticky food like jam or custard or something and bin it or sprinkle in some plants at night

Nice to know that if I ever need to dispose of a dead body that Veeky Forums will have my back.

Just so you know, I reported your thread to the authorities.

Killing is forbidden by law.

Its working, i guess. Hopefully i wont be starring the news channel tonight. Cheers.

What? For all you know, his grandma could have died in a natural way and he just doesn't have the money to pay for a funeral.

This thread is a hypothetical scenario

Yeah, hypothetical. No reason to dial 911.
*wink*

>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

That's only faggot.