Halloween Candy

what candy are you going to be giving out to the chill'uns this year?

Carob bars

Probably the scariest day of the year for a robot.

I'm going to put mini snickers in a bucket out front and go hide in my back room with the lights off.

Just bought 3 bags of Hi-chew for all the neighborhood kids.

whatever hides the needles and razor blades the best.

Or you could just turn off your porch light and play some really dark ambient music to scare everyone away.

My neigborhood got rated the best in the nation for trick-0or-treating by the New York Times or some shit, so last year I literally got like a thousand people. So full-sized candy bars nigga YOLO

I'm giving out two bowls of "treats" one with orange candy for the normal BMI kids, and one with prebagged baby carrots for the fat little shits.

i bought a 100 pc bag of nestle chocolate from amazon for $7

Keep all the mango ones for yourself

Melon was the best flavor

Has anyone ever given out bakers chocolate
? that would be funny I might do that

plastic shot glasses filled with potato vodka

Scare them using your natural social awkwardness

I thought about that, but the problem is that Baker's chocolate comes in large pieces. You'd be looking at a lot of effort to get it in small individually wrapped pieces suitable for Halloween.

Two years I ran up and grabbed a little girl and started to run away with her as a joke, but apparently the parents didn't think it was funny so I ended up in jail.

Mega atomic warheads, atomic fireballs, and whatever other novelty shit I can find at the store

Last year I stocked up on old Universal monster movies and prepackaged apples to give the kids. Most of them didn't care for it, and little shit threw the stuff on the ground when he thought I wasn't looking.

I don't know what I'll do this year of these faggots piss me off again, but I'm sure it'll be the last.

>interacting with strangers
>children of all things

Halloween really is spoopy as fuck

>Veeky Forums actually gives out some cool shit
>You get left out because you live on a spoopy road/usually out partying because birthday is same exact day

The same old generic stuff.

I remember last year that this girl, maybe around twelve or thirteen, came to my house for candy and I noticed she was barefoot. Her cute little petite white feet, just walking around on my porch. I got very turned on, so much so that I ended up turning the lights off early so nobody else would ruin the spots she layer her feet on. I even got a good whiff of the spots.

If she comes by again, I'll give her full bars. Maybe she'll notice how nice I am and walk barefoot on my porch on purpose.

Have a hose ready but you might get arrested

condoms

Don't worry I heard they do Halloween in prison too

Stuff I would be happy to get

topkek do people do this?

>go to McDonalds
>order 100 McChickens
>when children come to the door on Halloween the only way for them to get a treat is to repeat "For me it is the McChicken the best fast food sandwich."
>give them a McChicken afterwards
>do this every year for Halloween
>become known as the McChicken god
>shitposting IRL

Well it is very spooky

I've been saving truffle wrappers for the past year so that I can mix my own shit with confectioners sugar and roll it into little balls, chocolate coat it, and give it to the children

Tedious, but it's a labor of love

I'm going to fill some chocolates with my cum.

>giving children your life nectar

this

Woooooow you are retarded

i'm coming to your house user

I'm thinking about just leaving a bowl of candy outside with a sign that says "use the honor system" and jumping out and teaching kids life lessons when they try to take it all. I'll also be really drunk and dressed as a scientist.

Dress up like Okabe and it'll be perfect
Would watch a highlight reel of

>Little niglet keeps coming to my house without a costume for three years and expecting candy
>I comply but also give him empty wrappers that look unopened
>The number if empty wrappers now outnumber the actual candy
>I made a new bowl just for him this year consisting of that hard pink bubblegum and lifesavers mints

>hard pink bubblegum

I loved that shit when I was a little niglet and I wasn't even black.

Jesus you need to be locked up on the spot. For your own sake even

and here i thought this would end with you giving her shoes

Reese's for the white kids and mints for the black/hispanic kids

You're evil

Twix mostly twix.

>tfw Hispanic but look white
:^)

There's always candy for you at my house, Zimmerman

If you give me mints I'm going to stand my ground

>kids not liking movies
Sad!

I'm glad I work nightshift, I get to avoid the retard that is Halloween.

You are supposed to give them something memorable like the crackheads that gave me and my sister half a homemade birthday cake. Never going to forget that shit.

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desu just keep them all to yourself

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>giving out candy
>realize I barely got anything let
>figure I might as well give it away instead of just stopping right there
>two girls show up
>"Sorry but this is all I got left."
>give them like 2 pieces of candy
>"Well this sucks..."
>"Told ya."

You just got free candy you little shits.

>candy

A ziplock bag with a travel toothbrush toothpaste and floss.

Nicotine gum

Wow grandpa you're really getting good with your computer, you made it all the way to Veeky Forums

Do you think he knows how to leave

Is there anywhere that sells those one shot bottles of booze in bulk?

that's honestly a cool idea for people who aren't shitheads because you can get those for dirt cheap in walmart bargain bins and it's cheaper than candy

Maybe for a halloween party or something

Speaking of which what's the best way of buying candy? In bulk? Amazon?

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I'm going to put on my qt sailor moon cosplay that I've been working on and hand out skittles, I hope I don't sound too masculine when the little kids come

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The fuck did you think would happen

...

See

why even give to shitskins in the first place

plus I think people kinda disapprove of any candy not in factory packaging, but fuckit do it for the lulz.

das racis

What the fuck did you think would happen?

gonna just give them a dollop of EQyss MEGA-TEK Rebuilder "MANES TAILS HOOVES" shampoo

last year i gave a kid a box of leftovers from a mexican joint, he actually took it

I'm ready for them

What's something I can give that looks cool but is actually disappointing?

If you're not joking, seek help.

You didn't do anything wrong. Just recognize that you have a problem.

Poisoned Jews.

My neighbors kid just about got ran over by a car that crashed into their front lawn and I felt bad for him sitting there crying his eyes out almost dying so I gave him my 2 big bags of candy I had for Halloween. Guess I'm going shopping for more this weekend.

This just reminded me that once I was in the mental ward around Halloween time, we asked the nurses what we should do to celebrate and they said, "We've never really done anything here to celebrate Halloween." which was very disappointing, but this girl said that sometimes at night she just stands there in the doorway to freak people out that walk through the ward, which was pretty hilarious. Occasionally I'd hear people yelp at night.

Some little ziploc bags have patterns on them so you can't really see what's inside. Fill with a disappointment of your choice. I suggest those stupid candy necklaces, religious booklets or floss.

Is he still alive? Damn thats sad.

Haribo sugar free gummy bears, of course

This is actually a pretty cool idea, how much would it cost for 100 dollar-menu burgers?

Yeah he's fine. I'm assuming it's just the shock of seeing his mom and dad yelling and chasing the driver down the road. Coupled with the realization of what just almost happened. He was extremely happy after the bags of candy and I would hope so. They were 10 lbs bags.

marriage

Every kid in my area is deathly allergic to something so I'm just handing out party bags filled with erasers and stickers and pencils and toys and shit and praying none of the little fucks are allergic to pvc.

You're too nice user, id tell them to fuck off

Why, there's nothing wrong with a healthy foot fetish

Apples in razor blades

Youre a good dude

She is underage. It isn't a crime to have these thoughts, just seek help if the temptation to act on your urge gets overwhelming.

Not a fan of kids.

>git off mah lawn

Full sized mars bars

I live in the sticks and get like 5 trick or treaters a year

Is this you?

>have a headless butler costume
>put bowl of candy on my lap, have a sign asking kids to take one
>sit as still as I can for a few groups of kids
>spoop every other visitor
I made a few kids cry, it was funny. What trick-or-treating with the tricks?

Oh man, this reminds me of a trick a friend of mine played on Halloween. He dressed up as a stuffed figure (complete with goofy mask and newspaper stuffing in his sleeves and pants), then slouched outside his door cradling a basket full of candy. A basket that also had a carefully cut hole in its bottom, plugged with his hand.

He didn't move an inch when passing kids took a treat or two, but if a greedy little shit dug deep for a handful...

>hard pink bubblegum and lifesavers mints

I like both of those. But, then I like candy corn, too. At least when you mix it with salted peanuts.

Every liquor store I've known will give you ten-packs (at least of stuff like Fireball) still in the shrink wrap. But, I've never seen it discounted from a store.

Maybe check Liquor Barn's website. I'm not sure if they'd let you buy without a license, though, because that sounds too much like redistributing.

$100 and tax

Quads confirm old man whitey is the devil

Did they catch the guy that did it?

>Not giving the kids bullets so they have more ammunition to protect themselves and their family

You monster

Anyone else buy good candy for white kids and give out circus peanuts to the niggers?