Hell I'm baking bread to impress my boyfriend help me turn this mess of food parts into cute kitty loaves...

You obviously haven't had any good blowjobs then

Or he never did a decent one

Truth. When you're given s really good bloejob its hard NOT to reflect on that.

Have any general blowjob tips?

Sucking the dick is crucial

Moulds ideally, freehand it'll be tricky so I would recommend forming separate bits and then sticking them together with an appropriate adhesive

Personally, I can't stand when she only has the tip of the dick in her mouth. To me, it actually feels the best the deeper it goes and try to make it sloppy.
To be honest, I've had mroe bad blowjobs than good ones.

I enjoy it when when she makes a ring with her fingers and pumps the shaft while she licks the tip. I also enjoy it when she takes it deeper since there's more body heat and so I feel that.

a...are you all grills?

>only girls suck dick
Faggot

Dudes that wear dresses

I got you senpai.

make no knead ciabatta
the simplest bread ever, hard to fuck up and delicious as fuck

This. I love my wife, but she refuses to try and deep throat. In all honesty, I'm not even big. Maybe 6.
Maybe.
But she will barely go halfway, and she'll hold on to the shaft, which cuts down on the amount of space she has to suck on.

And the fucking worse part is she keeps stopping after about 30 seconds and then starts jacking me off. I don't need help jerkin off. I'm a fucking pro at that. I know she does it to give her mouth a rest, but fuck, she's not even trying. I've never cum from a blow job alone, and it devastates me.

Also, OP, you can probably just make a simple bread losf, and make kitten designs out of cinnamon powder or something.
I mean, you fucked up just getting the ingredients together. I wouldn't try the fancy shit until you get the basics down.

And your man don't care about kitty cat bread. He wants his dick sucked.
The right way.
Check em.

here have my bread

underrated

Y'all fuck off I don't need this lazy no knead bullshit, it's almost proofing time so if anybody knows how shape loaves artistically...

And go eat a dick I put 'em together just fine, except she I just realized I forgot the butter now I gotta cut it in and my gluten will suck

Y'all suck why didn't you say nothing, Just talked about suckin' all day

Make a braid if you want, wouldn't really go past that. People don't really make fancy things without moulds, if you want to make a cat shaped bread you would need a cat shaped mould ect ect.

I'm not sure what thread is the official bread thread so here have my bloomer burger.

If you close your eyes it all feels the same aside from the prickle

Jesus christ woman, do you think your man wants to eat mediocre bread, or get his mediocre dick sucked?

I'd enjoy a bologna sandwich on bimbo bread, so I don't think your butter-less loaf of sadness will phase him either way.

easy for made home

Worked butter into one of me boules, felt like chewing bubble wrap so that's gonna be a flat bread kitty

Gonna try a more elegant method when the other guy

Also my boy ain't got a dick so I really need to nail this bread aight?

youtu.be/62wnMImemgM

Are you black, OP?

Mostly no

>boy
>ain't got a dick
wut?

It's the current year faggot my boyf can be trans

Also look at these ugly pieces of shit this is your fault cu/ck/s

This is the worst thread ever. Women and people who pretend to be women need to be banned.

When did I say I was a woman you anus

bake them and never come back

suck his clit dick

fucking lel

>women and people who pretend to be women
user i'm 100% sure everyone in the thread assumed he was a faggot, without a shadow of a doubt.

Coulda gone worse, it's dry at pats from that butter snafu but it rose alright

Oh, and crumb shot

>hurr duu just suck his dick
OP, ignore all these immature assholes.
If you really want to impress him, sit your asshole down on his cock and take it balls deep without complaint.
Bonus points if you have a prostate orgasm while doing so.

>this thread

Your man doesn't care if you can make some stupid "kitty loaves". Suck his dick and that man will want to marry you.

Enjoy dying an old maid you worthless dumb cunt. You can't bake worth shit and you won't suck dick. Don't complain about not being able to keep man when your the reason why.

Is that a bathroom towel?

Why would you be with a dude that cut off his dick?

You could bang a dude that has a dick and have him bang you when you feel like it, or you could bang a woman for the real tits and babby making capability. A dude who chopped his dick off is the worst of both worlds. You lose all around. And worst of all, there's almost certainly some extreme mental illness (hence the chopped dick) that'll result in it chopping bits of you off at some point when it loses its' mind again.

All in all a terrible choice, even if made due to being emotionally compromised.

I would caution you to seriously reconsider the decisions that led you to this point in your life.

Those look like abominations. I'm more convinced he will leave you over that. I know I would.

>Your man doesn't care if you can make some stupid "kitty loaves"

speak for yourself dumb ass, i get hungry after getting my dick sucked.

keep up the good work OP, that's some serious wife worthy activities. If your bf don''t like it hit me up

You forgot to tip your fedora.

>tfw when no boycunt bf

>OP asks for guidance on bread baking
>thread slides into dick sucking and fucking trans people
>this whole fucking thread
Jesus Veeky Forums I will never look at bread baking the same way ever again.

You're all a bunch of retards. The clear thing to do is make dick bread and suck it.

youtu.be/saBKVlUGtUE

>wife
Did you read a single post in this entire thread?

>using the icing spatula upside down

reeeeEEEEEEEE

>came to Veeky Forums for help
>surprised when it didn't work out

>not having the actual soul sucked out of you at least once in your life

Some people truly are born to endless night

Oh shit that dough looks too sticky o7 op gluten doesn't look developed.

I love bread. I love it even more when my wife makes bread with/for me. I love it the most when my wife gives me a blowjob. It's the male order of operations.

Too bad OP has a mentally ill, dickless partner.

Op, did you use yeast or sourdough starter?

This doesn't look soft at all. Did you even follow the recipe op?

Also I'm pretty sure your boyfriend would prefer a blowjob to shitty hard milk bread

If you want to impress your boyfriend, work on suppressing your gag reflex. Then suck him off, and have him suck you off too

Your either OP or one of OPs white knights. Either way fuck off.

kys retard

everyone is forgetting the rules

show feet

On point

OP is a faggot, but this isn't and making bread for your boyfriend and wanting help is a completely legit reason for a thread.

Don't be so thirsty. Go back to /b/ if you need a fap.

Most non virgins.

Haven't been here long?

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