OK I'm about to cook food for my visiting obese family from the Midwest, what do I do to wow them?

OK I'm about to cook food for my visiting obese family from the Midwest, what do I do to wow them?

give them bursl prots and post vid

Deep fried butter.

Pizza bites with ranch on the side

salad

Microwaved rice over ranch dressing

Generally when I know I'm going to be feeding people I make something that is solidly in my repertoire, something I know tastes good.

I know you've phrased it in a way to make these people sound bad, but honestly if your coming someone a meal, it's best practice to make something you know is enjoyable.

sorry, "you're cooking"

Appetizer: Deep-fryed Mozzarella Sticks with sides of ketchup and ranch dressing
Main Course: Tater Tot Hotdish with a sides of ketchup and ranch dressing
Drink: Off-brand Mountain Dew
Dessert: Zebra Cakes with a side of Vanilla Ice Cream and bottled chocolate sauce

If they're from the midwest, they will be impressed with any cheese that isn't 40% oil.

Trough O' Pie

6 blocks of unmelted Velveeta .

make bibimbap for them.

A HUGE shepards pie using lamb if possible. 2-3pounds of meat and 3-4 of mashed potatos. I usually do 2 pounds of meat and 3 pound of taters. Also a teaspoon or 2 of cinnamon adds a excellent taste to the pie. Normally my recipe is gone by the end of the night no matter the size.

Korean food is disgusting

Just make sure there's ranch on it.

>t. Weeabo

Watch your mouth and don't even dare to imply that Japanese food is near the same tier as Korean

>Hi, my name is user and I the only Korean food I've ever eaten is some shitty plastic jar kimchi I had a taste of one time when someone brought it in for the anime club's food day

I'm from that region and I enjoy them.

Is this really what we're known for?

Just make tacos. Everyone loves tacos.

Show a pic of a taco next time, not a doritos cup, amerilard.

Ok, that will feed one midwesterner for a couple of hours, but what will the rest eat?

Pretty much anything in any quantity then follow up with a bowl filled with 5 pounds of Haribo Gummy bears.

I would go paleo. No rice, corn, beans potatos, bread or pasta.

Thoes are the American killers.

Serve an extra peice of meat, salad, veggies and plenty of water.

Whatever you make, put large amounts of arsenic in it.

A love for cool ranch?