Things my food snob flat mate does that annoy the piss out of me

I like eating good food and never professed to be a good cook, but this douche takes shit way to srs.

1. cooks bacon in the oven on a baking sheet. wtf i smell bacon cooking for over an hour and get hungry af but it just turns out like bacon i fry up on the stove. he says it has better "mouth feel?"

2. Puts dashes of cinnamon in EVERYTHING. I was making some pasta sauce and he put cinnamon in it "just a dash and it brightens up the flavor profile" WTF!

3. He RAGED at me last week because I broke his avocado peeler trying to get the skin off of a pineapple. How was I supposed to know it was only for avocados?

4. Not ONCE has he ever washed his skillet since I have known him. He says it will ruin the "seasoning" - everytime he makes pancakes they are ruined by the taste of everything else he's made in that thing. fucking gross. I'm gonna take steel wool and scrape off the layers of what has been baked into it over the last year tonight and don't give a shit what he says. its not sanitary.

anybody else have to deal with this type of person?

pic related: this is how you cook bacon, if only the pan was cleaned.

Bait

I actually like the way oven bacon just kind of dissolves when you eat it, but why can't he just call it texture like a normal person?

Sounds like a Food Network Wannabe with this one.

Your fault, apologize and buy a new one.

Okay this must be a bait thread.

7/10 made me respond seriously.

>bacon oven
I think it spits oil all over the oven, which requires more frequent oven cleaning, adds smoke to the house too. But, a jellyroll pan has a huge surface area, so chefs and party people like cooking it there, whole rows at once. I don't think it's better "mouth feel" than the browning that happens in a cast iron, but you can make a larger quantity and it might be better than an unevenly heated poorly made pan on the stove at the wrong temperature. It's a great method for glazing and making bacon candy though. Just rub some brown sugar on there, after a dip in bourbon.
>cinnamon
Yea, stupid. My ex used to try to put ginger in everything. Immature palate. Trash for taste. Cinnamon in pasta sauce is a fringe thing though, it exists among early greek immigrant recipes (its in their moussaka), and is part of the flavor in Cinncinati 5-way spaghetti sauce and some famous hot dog topping chilies like Skyline or DC's Ben's Chili Bowl.
>avocado peeler
Don't use things that don't belong to you. Replace what you break. Have some boundaries with your flatmate.
>unwashed tainted foods
Don't even try his food, not even a taste, if the skillet isn't sanitized before usage. Be firm. Not even a taste. It'll stop when he can't share his food anymore because you firmly not partake.

Avocado peeler?

tl;dr haha

have you tried to deactivate his almonds?

Too obvious with the skillet bit.

My ex girlfriend cones to mind.

She was going to school to become a pastry chef when I dumped her. I remember her cussing me out for a couple things in the kitchen. I was making omelets one time to surprise her with breakfast in bed. She came down to the kitchen to get coffee and asked what I was up to while I was whisking up the eggs. Told her omelets, Denver style. She said u are never supposed to use a whisk for making an omelet, only the tines of a fork. What I learned from this? Tines are the pokey parts at the end of a fork. Omelet turned out fine, she just got some ham and some toast that morning.

Then there was the time we were making a big pot of beef stew. I was washing up the vegetables and got yelled at for rinsing the mushrooms. She said you are supposed to use a dry brush or the mushrooms have a mushy texture. Da fuq.

She was right on both counts.

A whisk adds too much air to the mixture, resulting in bubbles in your omelette.

Mushrooms absorb water, washing them under water means they'll absorb it all and it'll ruin the texture.

Martha?

both are old wives bullshit

>he says it has better "mouth feel?"
I have no doubt in my mind that your roommate is a pretentious douche, but I wouldn't completely knock the concept.

I mean, a fresh sandwich certainly feels better in my mouth than a soggy sandwich with wilted lettuce. Taste is similar if not the same, but a soggy sandwich just doesn't feel right to me.

the only difference with bacon is that my mouth feels the pan fried bacon inside of it 50 minutes faster than the stuff he bakes in the oven.

Tell him to start baking the bacon 50 minutes earlier, then.

The fork and wisk, yeah I agree. Mushrooms bit? No.

>resulting in bubbles in your omelette.
Nigger being fluffy and airy is the entire point of an omelette.

yes. both are bullshit. rinsing whole mushrooms results in minimal absorption of water, and mushrooms have a fuckton of water in them anyway. you should be cooking it out in any case.

Sometimes when mushrooms are especially dirty you have to rinse them. It's not a big deal if you gently press a dry paper towel or something on them. What's worse: imperceptibly wetter mushrooms or dirt/sand in your mouth?

it takes 20 minutes to cook bacon in the oven and you don't gotta flip it or watch it
literally did it this morning you dumbass cocksucking stove fag

>cooks bacon in the oven on a baking sheet. wtf i smell bacon cooking for over an hour and get hungry af but it just turns out like bacon i fry up on the stove. he says it has better "mouth feel?"

There is no fucking reason to do this unless you need a large amount of bacon in a short amount of time OR you're explicitly adding shit to the bacon that requires it to be stable, like doing the candied bacon thing.

I'm sick of these Epic Meal Time wannabes with their "oh but putting bacon in the oven just makes it TASTE better!". Like no you fucking invalids, they do it because they make a fuckton of bacon for whatever stupid-ass project they have going at the time.

>Epic Meal Time

I thought this was supposed to be a joke outright?

It is. People took it seriously.

maybe in a convection oven it does. i wouldn't know. i make my bacon like a normal person and eat it without needing to be smug about how it's cooked.

Less messy? Also unlike frying on the stove, more of a "once and done" type deal rather than having to baby it to cook even

You must lead a busy life if you have no time to flip bacon in a pan.

I can have my eggs on a plate and ready to go after cleanup in like 10 minutes max.

Bacon always is a huge pain in the ass because I have to baby it and press it down into the pan to make sure it cooks even, and even then it still takes like 10-15 minutes. It is frustrating

As opposed to?

So you start your bacon in the oven 10 minutes before you start your eggs? Instead of in a pan 5 minutes before your eggs?

I guess it makes sense to not want to babysit your bacon, if your eggs are cooking in a different room or something. I have four burners on a stove all in the same room so it's not a problem to have my eggs cooking in a separate pan. Then again, frying an egg in my kitchen only takes a couple of minutes. Often, I start my bacon and flip it in like 4 or 5 minutes, and when it's done I set it aside and fry eggs in the same pan. Whole thing is done in like 10 minutes. I clean up after I eat though, and my dishwasher is also in the same room as my oven/stove.

I've never been able to have bacon that sit in the pan and cooked consistently without having to keep each individual slice pressed down so that it lays flat. I can just throw it in a toaster oven or something and have it out just as fast, so I don't see why that's a big deal. I also notice it is the only thing that sticks to my cast iron for whatever reason

I just choose to not make bacon, though.

Does it really take ten minutes for you to fry an egg? Or do you use a toaster oven for that as well?

No? It takes ten minutes to put the pan on the burner and heat up, fry, and clean up.

You're being unnecessarily passive aggressive user.

I'm just being inquisitive actually. I've not experienced the issues you are having making bacon and eggs and would try to help if I had more of an understanding of your process.

GAY BACON STRIPS
GAY BACON STRIPS
GAY BACON STRIPS

Okay, well when I make breakfast of bacon and eggs, here is what usually happens.
>put pans on burner
>put bacon in skillet as it heats (or wait for it to get hot and put in, but I notice it doesn't make a difference)
>scramble up my eggs and throw them into other skillet
>bacon is starting to shrivel up a metric fuckton
>have to keep it pressed into skillet so it cooks evenly
>trying to cook eggs on the side as well so can't keep consistent pressure on every bacon strip
>finish scrambled eggs
>go back to attending bacon
>still didnt' cook all that consistently but have to flip either way
>finish cooking the other side after a couple minutes
wala

and I just find it frustrating that I have to give so much attention to bacon. Apparently buying better quality bacon helps?

Alton Brown disproved the mushroom water-retention thing with a series of tests on Good Eats. It's bullshit. Wash your mushrooms.

*voila. Not 'wala'.

Dude just fuck YOU. Cry baby whiny bitch. Fuck off.

Yeah, buy better bacon. If it shrivels up that much it's got a lot of water in it. If it sticks to your pan, a lot of sugar. If you cant afford better bacon, you could wrap a brick in foil and use that as a hands free device to keep your bacon pinned down while your eggs scramble.

arigatou

Thanks for the (You)'s

Okay, I'll give that a shot. I don't know of any good local butchers, but if I can't find one maybe I'll just buy a different brand and experiment.

You don't end statements with question marks.

Ass feel >>>> mouth feel
If you don't agree is because you have never experienced burning dhiarrea

Shut up you fucking mongrel, you have worse apprehension than a toddler.

Costco bacon doesn't shrivel that much. And its never stuck to my cast iron skillet which I haven't washed in over a decade btw....

I believe my roommates have a costco membership, so I'll have to ask them to grab me some bacon sometime. Cheers user.

How hot are you getting your pan? God damn, bacon shouldn't shrivel up that fast.

If he annoys you so much kill him.

Your girlfriend was a cunt. Your bad for not realizing sooner before you made her your girlfriend.

>Washing mushrooms makes them absorb moisture and ruins the texture
>dry scrubs them
>puts them in stew which is liquid

You trolling me?

>apprehension

It's not that easy, he pays 80% of the rent because I'm the reason nobody breaks into our place/messes with him on the street.

>cunt
>made her your girlfriend

hahahahaba

>have to keep it pressed into skillet so it cooks evenly
This is where you are fucking up. It's a going to cook, it doesn't matter if the ends curl up a little.

>apprehension
understanding; grasp.

Jesus christ you're such a fucking pleb

bait because casuals don't post threads here, it's all just well seasoned autists posting

In my experience, the parts that curl up don't cook much at all

But what about teriyaki bacon jerky?

I think i got into an argument with you awhile ago about apprehension vs comprehension