The last time you shit yourself, what did you eat?

sweet potato tempura and escolar sashimi at an AYCE place

I'dput up with oily, orange shits to eat again though

Probably baby food, you fucking degenerate

the lunch buffet at the college commissary followed by cocaine mixed with baby laxative.

beer

why does everyone on Veeky Forums seem to shit themselves so much

Cold KFC from about 3 days earlier

didnt shit myself but i shat out literally undigested "grünkohl" i ate the night before.

Looks like a combination of gluttony and alcoholism. Who knew?

School lunch, 1996, I was in sixth grade

I think it was a hamburger, what tasted like microwaved frozen fries, and a carton of milk. Similar to pic related.

It didn't happen in class, but a few hours later after getting home, second floor apartment, couldn't get the door open in time. (I didn't have the key.)

We have a bunch of Aussies here

street tacos

after i shit myself i rolled around and masturbated in my own excrement for several hours

A salad made with unwashed Mexican hands.

Food.

Both flavoured milk and fruit juice, because you don't get enough sugar with just one.
>Hamerica

I was visiting an American friend and I ate his food, which was too sweet and lacked flavor. Even the American equivalent of Kraft Dinner was overly sweet.

Literally shat my pants this morning, felt bit awkward but I still decided to let out a fat fart and what do you know, my pants were suddenly filling with liquid diarrhea.

Have been drinking hard since tuesday and ate nothing but frozen pizzas.

>obsessed yuropoor sniffs his own farts yet again

Usually copious amounts of alcohol, and the next morning I will chance a fart in my boxers causing a tiny pooplet surprise to make a guest appearance.

However I do have this story:
>Drink all night long because of a project
>finish at around 9am after about 15 beers
>go to local diner, order eggs benny
>poop there, but not all of it comes out
>finish meal, pay, as soon as I leave I have to shit
>instead of going back inside for a sequel poop, I waddle home to my apartment which is about a block away
>climb 3 flights of stairs and get to my door, i'm panicing a bit
>get into my bathroom, and with the last of my sphincter strength stand just in front of my toilet
>can't get my damn belt off
>shit my pants literally inches away from my toilet
>just a half to full sized dump standing there in my street clothes
>turn on the shower and stand in the water fully clothed for a few minutes, defeated

fives guys burger and fries plus a 44oz soda

it was liquid and lots of pressure i didn't make it to the toilet

>escolar sashimi

Of course everyone that's overindulged has pooped their pants. But a thread dedicated to the details of it? This is a /b/ thread. It takes a relatively special wierdness to want to hear
about it.

A large pepperoni and sausage pizza .
Made it to the bathroom in time but couldn't get my belt off fast enough, had to buy new pants.

I've just been rewatching the Amadeus movie and the emperor looks exactly like him

Tons of whisky and pizza. Liquid shit everywhere

Quesadilla's from M&Ms

i don't get the appeal of escolar

i mean considering the wide variety of tasty species of fish why willingly eat one where terrible indigestion is a predictable consequence

It was actually just a carton of regular 2% milk, but I couldn't find with regular milk.

In fact, I don't recall seeing any juice and chips/crisps in lunches until 1998 or '99.

Before that, only the special ed kids got juice and chips/crisps.

I was sick last year, thought I had a fart but I sharted myself super hard. I was sitting at the kitchen table and the shart was so runny it leaked onto the cushions. Tried my best to clean the cushion but to this day there's this little discolored spot of washed-out runs.

I think I was attempting to eat gummies, it was some kind of candy/snack. Idk, I didn't remember the food because I chalked it up to being sick.

Nice

Lone star beer in Texas. I was attending a computer conference and the night before I had maybe 5-6 lone stars

Next day I'm having a pre-talk piss and I fart. I go sit in the conference room and feel the wet. I go back to the bathroom and discover a circle of wet poo the size of a quarter and have to go back to the hotel and change

You shat on your couch and didn't replace the cushions? Fucking disgusting

go fuck off to somewhere else then.

Not too bad. I sharted at work and had to toss my underwear several times

Can a thread be more american than all the fast food topics combined? - "Yes, it can.", says OP.

Dafuq is that? Do American school lunches really look like a fucking McD takeout? The tiny pathetic heap of greens just adds insult to injury, rather than the opposite.

>Do American school lunches really look like a fucking McD takeout?

Nah, McDonald's is classy compared to school lunches. Yep, that's frozen pizza in that pic.

I think a lot of school districts are just focused on profit than nutrition. Parents don't care either; especially when some kids get these lunches subsidized.

You gotta pack your kid their own lunch if you want them to stay healthy.

In public school cafeterias, school lunch and pack lunch kids are segregated to keep them from swapping and sampling food.

breastmilk

For the first two years of my elementary school parts of the lunches were actually sold to us COLD (thawed overnight but not reheated) and there was a line for three microwaves on classroom desks in the corner. It took a million dollar fundraiser and a PTA protest at city hall to get them to start nuking the shit for us, but the price went up by a dollar per "entree" (main dish, beverage, side, and snack were all charged separately, I remember lunch costing about $3.50 before they started heating it)

>American lunches

Honestly saddening. No wonder you got an obesity epidemic. Kids don't know better, and probably 1-2 generations of parents have also been raised like this. It's a vicious cycle.

Michele Obama fucked with school lunch programs and that's where we are today.

Well, the kids are expected to go out and play. At my elementary school, teachers weren't allowed to have any students in the classroom during lunch recess.

What did she do? Ban chocolate milk and juice?

I was talking about mid-90's - early 00's.

Nothing. I was extremely hung over and couldn't bring myself to eat, despite pouring out a mound of watery diarrhea roughly the volume of a birthday cake throughout the day.

It was Tuesday. I was hungover and then ate Chipotle. About an hour later I had to fart. Nope. Yellow liquid came gushing out. No solids.

Time before that was about a month ago. I ate Chipotle then had to go drive for awhile. After struggling and clenching stuck in traffic for what seemed like hours, I could no longer hold it. Liquid shit came trickling out, pooling in my trousers and absorbing into the driver's seat.

We'll see what happens next time.

Hey, I'm amerilard and I enjoy discussing the intricate levels of poo in pants. There's an artistic side to it, sort of on the level of Mapplethorpe. Many different viewpoints and experiences. Basically like this thread: feces.

unbelievable obsession

Sad!

You do realize America is a huge country right? The public school I went to had great lunch and the option to get a salad and baked potato instead. That said you're allowed to bring your own.

3 dozen oysters on the half shell and way too much bourbon. Drove 2 and a half hours back home, was walking up the stairs to my bedroom and my anus exploded without warning; had to throw those undies away. Polite sage.

I ate pizza hut pan pizza years ago and literally shit oil. Oil floating on the fuckin toilet water

Ice cream

>highschool wrestling
>2009
>lactose intollerant
>cutting weight not eating for a couple days
>after weigh in ate a lot of stuff and for some reason drank chocolate milk
>arrived at tournament
>thought I had to fart
>definitely pooped
>luckily had an extra pair
>told my friend, and asked not to tell
>told everyone
>got shit for it till I graduated
No pun intended

Portobello/Crimini mushrooms are the exact same thing as Button/champignon/white mushrooms (most common ones sold in U.S. grocers), the former are simply allowed to grow older. You're probably used to decent mushrooms as opposed to the mutated white descendants of a 1926 freak of nature.

Never shit myself but came close to it several times with me having to resort to public shitting. The worst being had to walk 2 kilometer with shit in my underwear

>Get off work.
>Go get a big dinner
>get a call from friends to go hang out and drink
>we all drink and drunk, I decide to go home.
>Home is 20 kilometers
>start walking, it's 12 amish
>Pick up 2 liter of coke and drink iton the way home
>suddenly get a rumbling in my stomach after an hour, think I can hold it in
>remember it's early morning, so I go to a guardrail, sit down,
>ass explosion
>suddenly realize I'm pissing on my pants and boxers, stand up straight out of natural reaction
>shit comes flowing out my ass into my boxers
>Oh fuck whhyyyyy
>thanking god it's 2 am in the middle of nowhere.
>Waddle a full kilometer with shit and piss stained pants and underwear.
>Walk by the river neare my place. It's April, cold as fuck.
>Fuck it
>go for a swim to scrub my clothing and wash my ass out.
>Walk home soaking wet

Fast forward few years

>Start losing weight, out running every day
>Everything passes through me like a goose, so I try and shit before I run
>One day I forgo it because I didn't eat and I'm halfway through returning home when the rumbling is happening
>ohfuccck
>Run off the trail and go squat in the would.
>nothing but liquid. easily a liter or two
>feel better, but oh fuck my ass is dirty
>trail is nearly done and I'll soon be walking with normies.
>I backtrack back to the lake it is on and go for a swim

Hunt Brothers Pizza
I fucking hate that garbage. I was shitting liquid and puking for a week.

Cheap whiskey at high elevation

Wendy's chili. Should have known it was going to give me food poisoning, it was served to me lukewarm.

Reported them to corporate, but I'm sure that did nothing.

I shit myself once maybe 4 years ago. I don't remember what I ate but I was on that K2 drug and farted too hard. Instead of a rabbit pebble, it was a wet pebble

>Never shit myself
>...
>shit comes flowing out my ass into my boxers

Sorry bro, but you shit yourself. Especially because you had to do the waddle.

Pizza from my local spot. It was completely unexpected too. I don't think I had shat myself for at least 17 years prior to this happening

Who has a couch at their kitchen table?

Chair cushions.

And yet here you are.

I feel like this is one of those times when someone would screencap the thread and put the 'Veeky Forums - Food & Cooking' title in the screencap

youtube.com/watch?v=mbDcnUH6rOc

half a kilo of dried apricots

A blizzard.

That was the day I came to terms with the fact that I'm lactose intolerant.

Had a stomach virus. Both bathrooms occupied. Waiting for what feels like forever. It was actually like 5 mins. Couldnt hold it anymore. After i shit my pants about 30 seconds later the bathroom is free. Such is life

I don't know how much she directly fucked it, but she instituted some mandatory nutrition things to hit, which they technically do but they basically serve prison food. It's pretty much as bad as it always was, but now it technically has enough nutrition to keep you from being a 300 pound blob, but any real weight loss is from kids just not eating it.

Drank half a bottle of sugar-free cough syrup. My intestines sounded like a roaring lion for an hour, then I let one out and clenched like there was no tomorrow when I felt the warm package coming with. Ended up spending 30 minutes farting and dropping shitwater in the toilet.
Edulcorants are my new phobia.

>that pic
how is that much shit even possible

The first and last time I ever ate a Banquet frozen meal. I was standing at the toilet trying to get my pants undone and I couldn't stop it in time.

alright, I figured since I was shitting and lost control I was safe on a technicality

>Americans

B-but it has a big "salad" in the corner, obsessed y-yuropoor

>ITT:Americans share Shart-stories.

Have you ever seen one being made? They pour in a cup of oil into the pan. Fucking disgusting.

>yurobsessions

>Of course everyone that's overindulged has pooped their pants

It may have been sugar-free gummybears? Apparently it's a common complaint
amazon.com/Haribo-Sugar-Free-Gummy-Bears/product-reviews/B008JELLCA

Beer and liquor. It was my last time hanging out with my friends. I got drunk and stumbled to the toilet and I coughed and some came out before unstrapping my pants all the way
>captcha ohns mart
Guess I'm supposed to be American.

My mom's homemade macaroni and cheese when I was 12

I shit myself and and shat all over bathroom. Afterwards I slipped and fell down the basement stairs trying to grab the swiffer mop. My crying, shit-covered self was found by my sister. The cunt brings this up at every family gathering.

Americans are disgusting

Haribro hellbears man

I would consult the refs about the play, but my policy has always been that if there's poo on your underpants, you're fucked. Your circumstance was bad luck, but then again many pants shittings are just bad luck I suppose.

5 Guys.

Worth it.

breastmilk prolly

I miss those tiny pizzas tho

It's actually just Tony's pizza. AFAIK, you can even order them for yourself. Don't know how though.

I've seen tonys before, but never square like those I used to get. To be honest I just like the shape better. There are loads of places that can get me square pizza, but I rarely want pizza these days.

Hah I believe it. I haven't had pizza hut in years, not since I shat an oil slick. The one where we live now is a run down mess.