What should I make for a potluck at work?

What's potluck?

Irish stew

I still don't know what potluck at work is and now you're calling me an asshole?

real irish stew

It's when everyone brings food that they made themselves.

You can bring just about anything as long as you made it yourself.

Do they allow that in 3rd world countries? It's not allowed here because we have food hygiene standards.

Are you retarded?
Where the fuck do you work, in a disease quarantine?

What shitstain country do you live in? It's common in the USA and Canada at least

No, in an office. I'm just being a dick and I got a (you) so thanks for making my day :)

(you)

Chilli com carn is a fave at my work and you can add beens because it's COM CARN you autistic plebeans

You're trying to bait too hard mate.

THIS.
ITS CON CARNE YOU IDIOT.

Don't, you'll summon him

It's like a picnic but shittier since it's your coworkers, or neighbors, or somebody you'd rather not hangout with. Everyone makes some sort of dish and shares with the others

Thanks pham

i'm not allowed to participate in my work's potlucks 'cause i'm just the security guard.

i don't count as an employee 'cause i'm contracted.

It depends, do you like your workmate ?

>if yes, make some pulled pork sliders AND a pie for those non-pork eating faggots
>if no, bring a bag of fritos and a bottle of Jack's and fuck'em all.

Huh. So is it a lunch or a dinner thing?

I think I remember reading about it in Bourdieu's "Distinction," it being a type of private bourgeois meal for when they have house guests, and thinking: "What in god's name is potluck?"
At the time I assumed it was a stew.

>type of private bourgeois meal for when they have house guests

Usually "petit bourgeois."

Irish stew is really delicious.

But only if made right.

Bring drinks.
That way you're the cool guy with cool drinks.

Irish Stew

I always make guac. I am a teacher, and the staff at my school does potlucks so often. Some of them bitches make these delicious casseroles, but they have to work too hard on them imo. I don't like working hard for work potlucks, although I do bust my ass when I am eating with friends.

hummus is easy too. fruit trays are fun

This reminds of this time I had dinner with my corworkers. I make a rule of not socializing with coworkers, and I should not have broken it. This may take 2 posts, it was THAT bad.

6 coworkers met at someone's house under the pretense of "Irish stew". I grudgingly accepted the invitation and arrived at 2 pm (when I was told to come). I brought traditional soda bread that had to be baked first. The host made a bit of a stink about using the oven when he had other things in there, but I told him I wanted it fresh.

The stew was still cooking and the host was already drinking alcohol at this time. In the middle of a conversation with a member of the opposite sex, the host tells me, "Please, no talk about politics. PLEASE not today". I said if more people talked about politics we would be in a better country, and he got very argumentative so I just dropped it.

I was drinking apple juice that I brought over and the host kept trying to get me to have a beer. He was obviously intoxicated and starting saying how maybe I would be relaxed and "cooler" if I had some alcohol. It was pathetic, like peer pressure from a high school TV show.

Anyway, at that point I became withdrawn and went for a walk. I came back right before dinner, and that is when the fun started.

He made "Irish stew" with beef, carrots, Worcestershire sauce, black pepper, hot sauce, oregano, tomato, and various ingredients. I started telling others that proper Irish stew should only contain mutton, potato, onion, and water, and that beef, tomato, black pepper, hot sauce, and other ingredients would not be available then and therefore it was a modern stew, not Irish stew.

We started eating and someone asked me about what I had said about real Irish stew. The host looked annoyed so I told him. He turned red and told me if I didn't like it I could "get the fuck out and take my apple juice with me".

I was shocked and speechless. He left the room and his girlfriend (they are unmarried but live together) apologized. Eventually, people started talking more comfortably and he came back and was brooding and drinking more.

The stew was okay, but not authentic. I asked him if he knew that mutton was on sale at a local store and he flew into a tirade, bringing up any small error or faux pas I have ever committed at work. People were trying to calm him down, and I simply responded to him in a quiet and calm voice, and said that I appreciated his invitation and his "take" on Irish stew, but it would have been nicer if the company had been more warm.

He got up and pulled me out of the chair, stretching my sweater at the neck. He was literally screaming in my face and had his fist up in a threatening manner.

I told him I would call the cops if he hit me. He then told me to get out and take my "fucking juice and shit bread" with him. A second loaf was still in the oven with 7 minutes left, and I said I wasn't leaving until it was cooked and I could take it.

He shouted at me to leave or he would call the cops ON ME (imagine) and then threw the bread out of the oven on the ground. I was shaking with emotions and told the group that I enjoyed my time with them but I couldn't say the same about the host.

It was a horrible affair, but I decided to make authentic Irish stew today, because I was let down yesterday and had a hankering for it. It is simmering on the stove and I plan on bringing it to lunch tomorrow, one bowl for me and some for the host. It will be a subtle form of revenge as well as a way to show him that I am a better cook and am the more mature, forgiving person.

Any other stories of hosts from hell? People who cannot act respectful towards others in their own home should not have dinner parties.

...

you sound like a bitch. i can't believe i read that whole autistic post. fuck me

>"this isn't authentic"
> "I enjoy your take on it, but it's wrong"
>"I'm not leaving till I get my bread"
> "I wanna use your oven for some thing I couldn't finish at home ."
> "I don't wanna drink"
> "Dont pull my sweater."

Ahahahahahahaha every one point and laugh at the little bitch. Jesus christ. I'm so glad my father raised me not to be a fucking douche. Hahaha wow you suck

MAGA Cake

Look at all the new people who haven't see this posted a hundred times already.

Potluck is an anglicization of the word potlatch which is present in several dialects of the Athabascan peoples of the North Pacific coast of North America.
This is basic stuff. Try and keep up.

it's a copypasta

Really not making a case by mentioning two 3rd world countries

some kind of jello mold with little marshmallows.

Cream of sum-yung-gai soup.
You can add some special essence. Then you will be part of everyone in your office. Forever.

Boiled poop

That's pretty gay.

You know... nobody brought drinks to the last one and I was thirsty as FUCK. Good idea, user.

It's an American practice where you bring rich food in a cauldron, and you throw it in a chamber-pot (where people pee and poo) for good luck.

It was practiced by the founding fathers.

...

I don't participate in potlucks, some people has poor standards in hygiene and/or have pets in their household, you know someone who went to the bathroom and didn't wash their hands at work. Someone brought something in and had a pet that had pet hair inside the container. So, I rather not deal with potluck, if I'm hungry, I will cook me something for myself at home.

Sometimes on rare occasions, I will make dinner and bring some leftovers in for a work buddy to try out, since they are the same way and don't partake in potlucks either for the same reasons.

I hope you also don't shake hands with people because it's unsanitary.

I waited for that answer...

People with pets have stronger immune systems. It pays off.

Church chilli

Guys it's pasta chill the fuck out

bacon wrapped cream cheese stuffed jalapeños. be sure to clean the jalapeños well for your normie coworkers plebian pallets. youll get compliments and its not something people already bring

>you have to go back.

what

Rice and Chips from the local favorite Mexican food place.

hehe i get the reference

>replying to the obvious pasta

checked.

What?

Sweet and Sour Meatballs
Rumaki
Pastry Puff Cheese Straws
Veggie Tray w/Blue Cheese Bacon Dip

cooked nigger alfredo

Home-made pork rinds. I know it would be a hit in my department.

Albertsons sells that green fruit salad thing. Get a pound and half of that.

these also checked

As a single male who dislikes cooking, I'm angered at the expectation my employer expects ME to provide home cooked food for the other employees. Its especially annoying that its usually expected just a day or two before a super busy holiday when family and guests impose. How about the employer spring for a nice catered meal instead of asking me to provide food and labor when I'm off the clock? This is some fucking bullshit.
But in order to keep up fake workplace appearances, what I do is empty three cans of hot Homel chili no beans into a crock pot, and add 2 bricks of cream cheese. It melts, stir it up, bring a couple bags of tortilla chips and fucking done with it. There you go, five minutes, and surprisingly it will get eaten up before most of the other shitty things on the table. Happy fucking holidays.

You work in the fat people department

... aand, thats a bad thing?

stone soup

I understand, and agree with your complaint and solution 100%. However, I have to ask : If you dislike cooking, why are you here?

Tfw britbong, on business trip in the US at company HQ is south USA.
They're having a potluck with all this American food like pumpkin pie etc.

Any typical potluck pitfalls I should avoid? As in what is always bad regardless of who brings it. Can't be too greedy and inquisitive so gotta make my selections count.

Hope my colleagues will enjoy some quality street as well.

You may ask, and I may answer.

I frequent Veeky Forums for fun. Im a rather fatty person, so I like to pretend im slim, like you probably pretend to have a job.

Irish Stew

I don't love cooking, but I need to eat and I like tasty food. I get a few good ideas here, and I'm amused by the topic. The other boards suck, so why not.
Dude. It was my post, not yours. But you kinda nailed it, I'm unemployed and just a tad obese, why else would I be hanging out with you faggots?

Cheeseburger, pulled pork, or ham and hawaiian bread sliders sound pretty good. You could even do those sausages with the tooth picks. Or meatballs, bacon wrapped smokies, wings, spinach artichoke puffs/rolls/crescents.... etc.

Whatever dish you bring, you should also bring the means of keeping it warm (like in a crock pot or something). You really can't go wrong with whatever food you bring as long as it's bite sized and shareable. What dish were you thinking of bringing?

Crockpot brownie. Be the demise of every diet and yet the favorite person of everyone in the room. Win yourself the souls of your co-workers by bringing in vanilla ice cream and whipped cream as well.

Bruchetta
Spaghetti
ANYTHING in a crockpot.
Wings
Jallepeno Poppers. (Breakfast sausage, cream cheese, chedder cheese, wrapped in bacon)

In my experience company potlucks generally go 2 ways. Nobody brings food or nobody brings any meat.

In a hotel so can't cook, so bringing a box of UK sweets called quality street.

Bring some meat you snaggletooth'd fuck.

Too bad he didn't raise you to be very bright

Oh neat

>Nobody brings food or nobody brings any meat
There's always several different drinks, tons of sweets, and a bag of chips but no food.