Post roommate horror stories

>He puts ketchup on his sirloin steak which has been cooked until it's well-done

Would a kind user mind posting The Story of Jed?

>roommate and I split chores evenly
>I have weird anxiety about other people washing the dishes (it's mostly listening to the sounds) so I always do them, even if they're not mine
>we cook dinner independently but always offer dinner to one another
>we get along great and have never had issues

This is why I limit how many dishes I keep in house. Forces you to clean them.

My roommate found my cum rations

>Roommates have friends.
>Very sociable, we'll adjusted individuals
>Me, a Trump supporter sits in his room all day works at night
>Shit posts on Swedish fishnet weaving discussion board all day

These are more friend horror stories and I'm the horror lol

>have Dorritos 3Ds
>knowing they are hollow and poke a hole in one
>fill it up with turtle food pellets
>put it on top of the other and offer my friend some
>he eats it, is all WTF and spits it out has green teeth and tongue lol

>Have a box of mini Slim Jims
>Friends over
>Convince friend A to stick one of the Jims up his anus
>We give it to the other friend
>He eats it
>Ask "you like rim jims?" and burst out laughing
>He curses us and runs into the bathroom lol

Now room mates lol

>Room mate says she does not need sugar in her sunday gravy
>Whenever it's cooking and I get alone with it, I dump in some sugar and mix it in
>Everytime I do this everyone enjoys it more than usual and congratulates her on how good it is, even she agrees and eats more of it

Kek

>I have weird anxiety about other people washing the dishes (it's mostly listening to the sounds) so I always do them, even if they're not mine

I have this too and it took three months of therapy for me to realize it was because my shitty parents would always do chores angrily before I had a chance to get to them (i.e. i would come home from school and my mother would be folding the laundry and glare at me and i would KNOW it was because i "made her" do the laundry by not doing it earlier), and then they would guilt me for days about it afterwards. If I offered to help they'd be like NO I GOT IT SINCE I DO EVERYTHING ANYWAY.

It got so bad that I started being late for work because my anxiety wouldn't leave until I did the dishes in the morning and knew I couldn't get yelled at for it later. But then I would come home anyway to something like "you did all the dishes but you couldn't take ten seconds to empty the recycling??!"

Does that count as a shitty roommate story? Are parents roommates if your name is on the lease and you pay 2/3rds of the rent?

u suck

University
Live with 4 guys who all bring their own dishes
No one cleans their dishes
Sink stinks
I throw their dishes in the trash
I'm not edgy, they were just slobs

safe. you fucking moron.

...

Living the dream

>Does that count as a shitty roommate story? Are parents roommates if your name is on the lease and you pay 2/3rds of the rent?

Yes and yes.

I adopted a system when I lived with roomates wherever I was that I would have 1 aesthetically unique plate that was mine. That's the only one I ever had to do.
It's so simple, I don't see why people don't do this.

>be in college
>hot blonde roommate moves in who has bf
>fug her on and off
>7 years later
>Still think about that sweet ass

I wonder where she is or what she looks like these days

You're an uptight bitch to be completely honest.
Don't worry though, I still hate your dumb as fuck room mates.

Nigger

it definitely counts as abuse

Fuck off

I love you dearly, I want to be your baby. I want to kiss your feet and lick your asshole.

top zoz

Yeah, that might be true, but they'll never see cool pictures like this!

terrible stories us sound like a baby

My roommate keeps fucking drinking my alcohol. Wat do?

Oh God dammit

fuck off

Pee in the empty bottles and leave them next to the real booze

I once had a roommate try to cook macaroni and cheese on the stove in my Pyrex measuring cup. It exploded and sent boiling water and glass shrapnel all over the kitchen. He could never satisfactorily explain why he didn't just use a pot.

I thought that was a rotisserie chicken from the thumbnail

I thought I was safe here

when you're going to drink just buy enough for you to get drunk that night so its not laying around the house

Keep them in your own room or get an adult to be your roommate.

Doing that doesn't make you better. You are still just as gross, only you are kind of not allowing yourself to be as gross. You still are. The only decent way to be is to wash the dish after you use it. I can't fucking stand people who put a dish into the sink and leave it there. WASH OUR GOD DAMNED DISH IMMEDIATELY. its easier to wash, it keeps the kitchen clean. WASH YOUR FUCKING DISH YOU SACK OF SHIT.

m-m-mommy!! *burp* nno mommy *fart*

The poor mountaineer who barely kept his family feed?

...

cunt

...

(you) are a piece of shit

:/

:s

My roommate couldn't smell. But he refused to accept he couldn't smell and just assumed I was overreacting to things.

> come home from work
> immediately gag from smell like a bucket of cat piss
> containers of steamed broccoli and asparagus line the countertop
> all windows closed
> no fan on
> "It smells bad? Huh, really?"

It took three days to air the place out and the whole time he made fun of me because he couldn't smell it and he thought I was being sensitive. Then he just kept doing it.

Every time I would return from some trip, I'd walk in and the place would reek of rotting garbage. The only way he knew it was starting to get bad was from seeing the gnats start to buzz around.

someone ban this faggot

Fuck off, you deplorable faggots.

...

Nigger

...

>needs three days to air the place out of some harmless asparagus smell
I wonder what happened if ever you had to work with lifestock or used diapers

I'll bite. What?

Sunday gravy?

It's Italian for tomato sauce

My roommate has a skin condition and fucking itches his entire body all over the whole apartment. He has prescription lotion, I can only assume he's just eating it.

One time my friend got scabies from some slutty HOOWAH on POF, and he didn't know he had it, but he was hanging around for weeks constantly scratching his hands were covered in sores and he scratched till he bled it was gross

Then, I noticed I was starting to get itchy too...noticed this thing, within only a few days I noticed there was a pussy scab sore right on the tip of my dick and so I went to the DR and they told me it was scabies, gave me medicine, I got rid of it

My friend just dealt with this for weeks on end! In the end I had to tell him he had scabies and to go get rid of it

hee hee

Not risking it

this

...

...

why must you do such a thing

I only got one

>Move to NE from TX after HS
>Live with 2 other guys
>3rd story floor that we live on is generally kept clean
>Rotate chores, joint shopping, respect each others space
>6 months in, college life kicks in
>So we drank for a semester

Things just got gross and really inhumane. When the lease was ending we just threw out the dishes that had been sitting in the sink for a couple of months; I suggested it and personally didn't want to scrub the mold off the plates. How we got the deposit back is beyond my comprehension. Such is the way of things with young men on their own for the first time in their lives. These days I'm happy to pay for a vacant spare bedroom just so I don't have to deal with someone else and their squalor.

ty

Safe

Roommate horror stories from a NEET
>army vet moves in
>loves to drink and bring home strange women
>cooks like a madman too
>come home one day to the kitchen trashed
>he got drunk while cooking something and burnt a whole pot of rice so badly I had to throw out the pot
>starts stealing booze and food from the rest of us
>when he moves out we find his stash of wrappers, soda cans, egg shells and other stolen shit

>new roommate moves in
>weeb from Kcon, pretty chill and clean
>shaves in the sink without cleaning up after himself
>cooks frozen pizza on the cookie sheet and never cleans it
>keeps leftovers in the fridge uncovered for days
>cooks everything on a griddle and refuses to use pans

Ass

Fucking hell I knew it would end in that why did I read

>roomie and I are slobs
>have a room only for empty bottles
>hash bits stuck to the floor in most rooms
>ground coffee everywhere in the kitchen
>oven is seasoned
>he never puts anything back in place, doesn't close the bags of cereal/bread
>doesn't put stuff in the trash either

Fag

>living with my sister through college
>she's a new-age hippy, vegan and doesn't wear a bra
>refuses to keep her cat in her room when it starts pissing everywhere and biting at my feet and attacking my cat
>acts all hurt if i don't tell her every single vegan dish she makes is good
>(often they are but sometimes they're just fucking disgusting and when i don't eat it all she won't talk to me for a day or two)
>won't clean anything
>mountains of unwashed dishes in the sink, she lets shit dry on them and then puts them in the dishwasher so they come out disgusting
>rotting shit in the fridge that she won't throw out, "i neeeeeeeeed it kace"
>our bathroom has a toilet with shit and menstrual blood caked to it, trash can stuffed with used toilet paper, no liner

God almighty, now you trully know what hell for an eternity will be like.

Gee thanks Heinrich. Take your rancid-ass candle and GTFO.

Is she single?

Chris, user, I related too well. You Asian?

Yeah. Can't wait till the time is ripe for me to move out.

Nope, she has a bf. Tried to break up with him a couple of days ago but they got back together. He's just as disgusting.

When he puts away stuff from the dishwasher he just puts them anywhere in the cabinet and makes our kitchen a disorganized disaster. He's high all the time. Pisses me off.

No

The psycotic roomate who shit everywhere and kidnaped his ex-girlfriend, or something like that.

>flatmate knows I am a Trump supporter, is horrified and starts acting afraid of me
>I give zero shits, just continue going about my leisurely life, totally chill
>she is massive normalshit
>decides to have an "election party"
>I won't be able to sleep with their fucking TV on so I stay up and join them
>actually watching anime on my laptop (with headphones) whole time while they drink wine and gossip about whatever normalfagshit
>they're all shillary cunton supporting basic white bitches
>mfw trying to hide my smugness when state after state goes to Trump
>their fucking faces of horror and despair
>put hand over mouth to hide my massive grin

It was a good night.

Veeky Forums wise she's not horrible, but she makes disgusting food and only knows how to make about 3 things (pancakes from bisquick, frozen pizza, or horrific texan fatass casseroles with crumbled fritos and bagged preshredded cheese). But she has a fascination with taking my things and moving them somewhere else. Like my tea was sitting on one shelf, totally not in anyone's way, mostly empty shelf, and she feels the need to move it. Or I had my onions on one shelf and she moves them to another. It's annoying, but you wonder why the fuck she cares so goddamned much. I'm more perplexed than anything. I think she moved my notebook somewhere because I can't find it now. She also puts my perfectly clean teacup in the dirty sink all the time. Like yeah I am still using that. I think she has boundary issues.

>college
>shared kitchen, flatmate kept stealing my food
>buy bananas, go down to get one next morning, every last banana is gone
>write a note calling her a cunt
>she gets triggered and calls the campus waaaaaaaahmbulance
>I have to sit in peer remediation as she cries like a retarded bonobo experiencing a literal holocaust
>peer mediator gives even fewer fucks than I do
>her mom saw the note
>her mom knows she's a banana-stealing cunt

Oh, she was 250 lbs, "zumba" instructor, loved disney princesses, had like 3 beta orbitters, stereotypical triggered tumblrina before I knew what that was. What a loser. Like how hard is it to just NOT steal other people's stuff?

Fuck are you me? My dad was like that. I'd say okay I will do dishes before I go to bed, I go down at 7 and he's there fuming scrubbing the fucking dishes. And then gets pissy with me, or goes on a screaming tirade. Like nigger how you gonna prevent me from doing the dishes then get mad I didn't do them? Moron. Glad I moved out. He also made me sign a fucking contract on what chores I would do, like for fucking real? And same deal, he'd do 'em before I had a chance and then get pissy about it. Like then go sit your ass down and wait for me to do 'em. Logic where? I hate people who get angry over their own bullshit.

But y

>if you don't respond your mother dies

What?

Because some of us invite people over and 1 plate just doesn't do the trick.

Just tell them to bring their plate to use.

>materialist hoarders are this retarded

Considering they're bringing their own food, that sounds like a fair deal.

This is why I almost always use paper plates and plastic cups/spoons/forks.

I have a collection of nice cookware, utensils and gadgets.
But it's hard to clog the sink with them.

It's worth $10-20 a month not to have to do piles of dishes.

Everyone responding to that post is a giant fucking child baby larping as a real human.

Go die.

You're a cunt

lel

wyseguys.com/blag/shitty-roommate/meet-jed/

It's not about the money. It's about not being a trashy, wasteful bitch.

>this faggot doesn't wash his dishes as he eats
Literally cancer.