Make a dozen chocolate eclairs

>make a dozen chocolate eclairs
>nobody to share them with
>eat them all in one sitting

can someone please mail a bomb or something to my house so my family can collect my life insurance?

This is another batch of eclairs I made a while ago.

stop being fat and ugly and get a gf

Did you at least eat them all when they were warm and fresh? Worth it in that case. :)

These ones were vanilla. I remember taking this picture with my girlfriend at the time a year ago.

I don't think life insurance would pay out if you ask for a bomb to be mailed. At least your getting better at making them, the chocolate ontop looks much cleaner. Next step is to remove the bubbles from the glaze, or pop them quickly when the mix is still runny.

They were fresh but not warm. I had let the choux pastry rest for maybe 30 minutes outside the oven before piping in the creme.

Here are some chocolate and strawberry crepes I made for my ex for Valentine's Day.

They weren't bubbles, but rather some cocoa powder that had stuck together when I made the ganache.
I followed Chef John's advice and gave the ganache the ooooll' tap-a tap-a to get rid of any air bubbles.

I am going to be presentation to my french class on Thursday for a final project. I was thinking of doing something on Jacques Pepin for the first half of my presentation and then sort of doing my own cooking show bit for the second half where I demonstrate how to do eclairs. What sort of flavor do you guys think I should do? Chocolate, Vanilla, or Coffee?

Go with a coffee to really blow their socks off

Back in my senior year of highschool, I had decided to join our academic team. Every year there is a different topic and that year was Ancient Greece. I always enjoyed Greek myths when I was younger so I joined the history team. There were three other people in my group.
Every couple weeks we would compete against other schools and answer questions related to our topic. We finally made it to the state final. It was the first time the History team had been able to do that so I was kinda proud. Competing with us were the Math and Science teams. A few people from the Art and Literature teams also came along. I wanted to do something fun for everyone since it was going to be a long day, so I made Baklava for everybody.

We ended up placing third in the state while the Math and Science teams were able to take first.

Jesus that's a weird format.

Since my birthday is close to Oktoberfest, I wanted to organize a small party this year. I invited 15 or so people from my major and told them that there would be free beer and food. They all told me that they would love to come.

Nobody showed up.

I had made pretzels, schnitzel, and some apfelstrudel along with some German import beers. These are some pretzels I had made the a few nights before to practice.

Sorry, I'm a little drunk right now so my thoughts are pretty jumbled.

I'll be your friend and hang out with you if you feed me things.

These are some ricotta-spinach ravioli I made for my mom 5 or 6 years ago. It was my first time making pasta from scratch. They were kinda tough. I miss my mom.

What would you like me to make for you?

Seattle? I will love to have one

Great Lakes.
Sorry.

>Nobody showed up.
>I miss my mom.
> I made for my ex for Valentine's Day.

I feel for you user, sounds like you've been having a crappy time.

Nice looking grub btw. It's nice to see somebody actually produces something on Veeky Forums

This.
OP is actually a really good cook by the look of it.
Hope life stops treating you so shitty, friendo.

Great lakes? I'm on lake erie

L O N D O N

ITT: Someone who actually knows how to bake and coke, i mean cook.

He definitely knows how to put a shit ton of time into making his dishes look good, and I can't deny they look good. That says nothing about how they taste though.

Between Chicago and Indianapolis. My grandparents used to live up by Lake Erie though.

You know, there's a million fine-looking men in the world, but they don't all bake you chocolate eclairs. Most of them just cheat on you.

>I don't think life insurance would pay out if you ask for a bomb to be mailed.

This is a misconception. By law in most, possibly all, jurisdictions, life insurance companies have to pay on suicides, unless there is some evidence that the policy was taken out specifically for this purpose. In some jurisdictions, I think in some jurisdictions there is a presumption of fraud if the suicide occurs within so much time of taking out the policy, but it can be rebutted. (The law used to allow categorical denials of coverage for suicides, like in Death of a Salesman, but I think mental health advocates successfully lobbied to require life insurance companies to cover suicides where there is no fraud.)

So if OP took out the policy years ago when he was happy or at least non-suicidal, and some user now mails a bomb to his place and he gets blown up, even though it's at his request, his beneficiary would still be able to collect.

Good luck with the plan, OP!

Hello, Fingercuffs.

I would surmise from the level of attention paid to the end product, a similar amount of attention would have been paid to the preparation of said items.

There's probably less than a handful of cunts on here would even know where to begin with making an eclair.

I'll fax you a couple next time I make them.

Thanks.

Can I ask you guys a real question? How much does one have to think about suicide for it to be considered a problem? What about self-harm?

share them with your familiy?

>How much does one have to think about suicide for it to be considered a problem? What about self-harm?
I think it's time for you to see once doctor ... you need help

Nice eclairs!

Starting to get a Henry's Kitchen vibe, except you can actually cook.

anyone got a good donut recipe?

i just bought a deep dryer

I'm inclined to say any amount of self-harm is a problem. It's also pretty faggoty, OP.
As for suicide, that really depends. I think about it plenty, but I'm nowhere near doing it. There are scales you can google on the different levels of ideation and how close you get to it, etc.

This is an eclair thread--get the fuck out, and take your donuts with you.

what does a deep dryer do

Thinking about dying or killing yourself is pretty normal. If you've started contemplating realistic ways to go about it, like swerving into oncoming traffic or slashing your wrists, regularly go see a doctor.

can we see u op

I always have a plan to kill myself if need be. Always carry a suicide razor blade, you never know when you'll need to cut a box or your throat.

t. OP

I'd chow down with you broheim, those look tasty af

lafayette? Boiler?

So what's wrong with you OP that nobody likes you? Be honest. Do you not shower? Are you socially autistic? Do you make snarky remarks that you consider funny but others consider annoying? People don't just abandon you for no reason

Take them to work?
Bring some over to your neighbors?

Isn't this the perfect way to make new friends/acquaintances? I'd be ecstatic if someone gave me food that looked that tasty.

French cruller would be apropos for an eclair thread

...

whoops

Cool, Boilermaker alumn here. Living neard Indy and I make pate au choux also. We should be frriends. How tight is your boipussy?

Some puffs from the same batch.

...Emily?

No, I'm a dude. To prove it here's a pork butt comet that I smoked a few weeks ago.

And the results.

Pity.
Very nice butt though. You should email me. asher3987@gmail

>Boilermaker alumn here
How is it? I just got out from trade school and I'm a TIG welder now but I kinda want to be either a fitter or a boilermaker (although I'd have to go back to school for the latter).

The campus smells awful a lot of the time.

These almost look like professional eclairs, and I say that as a french person

Good job OP

o-okay

I can be there by Tuesday. Save me a couple. :)

>Fondue Américaine
That's what you call a tartiflette with eggs and sausage?

...

eh, it sounds better this way

A boilermaker is a mascot for a 4 year state university in Indiana. We call ourselves the Purdue Boilermakers. It's not a trade school.

oh fug my bad

>all this fine-ass baking
>everything looks tasty
>everyone is lonely and sad
Fuck's wrong with the world
If a guy knows how to make delicious cake he should be swimming in pussy, by my standards

Oh wait, my retarded standards are why I'm...
...*sigh*
Nevermind

start a web business
brownies or something

I'm a baker. I'm damn good at it, too. I love to make food and pastries for anyone that asks. I'm too poor to start up a business myself, and my meds keep me at home nowadays.

Why am I not swimming in affection, user. Why can't I be the househusband for some affluent woman.

I would suck your dick OP in exchange for these eclairs. They look awesome. Except I'm in Canada so it wouldn't work.

I tried giving them away but nobody wanted them.

for the baker men

why baking instead of being a chef?

For Christmas, I would bake my grandparents pies or treats from scratch rather than buying them more junk to clutter up their house.

There's also only one decent bakery in Indiana and it's about two hours from where I live.

I do cook a lot though. I just don't have any interest in doing it as a career.