This man walks up to your booth at Applebee's and calls you a chicken guzzling tub of lard; what do?

This man walks up to your booth at Applebee's and calls you a chicken guzzling tub of lard; what do?

I wonder WTF I'm doing in Applebees

>"Y-you too"

explain my guzzling problem is due to a birth defect, and offer to eat my chicken under a cloth if it is disturbing him

1. Why am I at applebees, the lowest of the low,
2. I am vegetarian
3. I do not consume lard

hey fuck you too you bull shark ball spiked baldheaded fuck

Wtf am I looking at?

If, irl, some dude points at me like that. Haha... he would be dead in .6 seconss.

ritual when eating a certain fancy food bird

>tfw stone cold degrades you in public

I'm literally half your size you stupid bald fuck.

"For centuries, a rite of passage for French gourmets was the eating of the Ortolan. These tiny birds—captured alive, force-fed, then drowned in Armagnac—were roasted whole and eaten that way, bones and all, while the diner draped his head with a linen napkin to preserve the precious aromas and, some believe, to hide from God."

wtf I hate France now

t b h I'd like to try it

the force feeding and drowning is sad, but maybe they taste really good.... so then it's ok

>implying I'm at a booth
I'm at the bar and I would agree with him because i'm 5'6 and 145

Ask him if he could ever smell what the rock was cooking

Hit him with the DATS FUCKIN RACIST and ruin his career. Checkmate, austin.

Drop him with hard rights and a spinebuster before hitting him with the People's Elbow

>Applebees

I'm suicidal, user, not self-loathing.

flavor aint free

I met him at a huge dog show once, he was ok.

Hey man, big fan. Wrestlemania 13 was awesome.

I'd tell him to bring me a refill on my diet coke

Melt into a horny little puddle and beg him to stomp me with his beer stained boots.

Phone my bud Brock Lesnar and tell him i need him to return me that favor and to come as quickly as he can

That's clearly the bottom line, because Stone Cold said so.
Offer to buy him a beer, ask if he's going to make a comeback on WWE anytime. Would fucking love to see him and The Rock together again, Backlash 2000 was one of my absolute favorites.

animorph into a tub of lard and proceed to guzzle a whole live chicken.

WHAT?

I am not capable of shame. I will die in a puddle of my own vomit.

>what do?
Remind him what state he's in.

Yeah nah the Applebees here also sucks

I'm also glad the Lone Star Steakhouse closed

Why is this shit on Veeky Forums?

I'm in the capital. We only have McDonald's, subway, dominos, and papa johns. We don't really like fast food here. They all come here then they fail.

They come, they fail, they rise again.

ask him about his pawn shop

Why not?

...