The food fairy has gifted you a whole wild boar. What do you do with it?

The food fairy has gifted you a whole wild boar. What do you do with it?

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Bury it

sex

pitcher or catcher?
oral?

Spit roast that badboy
altho that means you are stuck with 100 pounds of meat that needs eating

or you could just pass it along to your local butcher and take the choice cuts, usually that means he butchers it for free since he can sell the cuts you dont take

PROBABLY A SAUSAGE

Pump its ass full of cum

Butchers taking in whole wild game? They need special permits for that.

Process my third boar this year. Probably buy another freezer.

The logical answers would be one of the following: a) spit roast, b) split the pig in half and slow cook it, or c) part it out and keep the better portions for chops, roasts, etc. the rest is ground pork or sausage.

If you're lucky, you already have your own knives and grinder, know processing yourself, and/or know someone else that does.

Most of the country butchers I know (or old fashioned butchers) that have their own shops don't bother with permits. Since they're not grocery stores or chain stores they function under a different set of rules. They're essentially branding themselves as "country market" or "farmers market" types of 'services'; so they are able to avoid some of the legal tape. Whether or not wild game processing is still illegal for them without permits is beyond me- I just know what I've been told.

Obelix it.

Perhaps it depends on the area, but in my state (Texas) the issue is simply that a butcher cannot sell wild game meat to the public unless it has been inspected by the USDA. They can, however, process it for the 'owner' of the carcass.

When they do have game meat lying around--for example, if a customer brings an animal in for processing but then never picks it up afterwards--they cannot legally charge money for the meat, but they can sell it to other people for the processing cost (labor).

Give it to my cousins, who love that shit.

This.

this:
youtube.com/watch?v=LuRfJDYl6Ts

Raise it as my son

would do whatever these guys do

Go on a stupid errand and end up on some months long adventure hundreds of miles away wich ends up with either Cleopatra or cesar getting involved?

throw it in the trash

he will be my familiar and i shall fashion a tiny saddle upon which goblins ride

Fuck it. Duh

Let it go. Hey you never said if it'd be dead or alive.

Spit roasted boar and copious amounts of alcohol in the middle of the forest with my friends sound like good times.

I actually had this happen to me today. After skinning and butchering it I can't decide what to cook tonight.

i fuck it, you cuck

train it to find truffles, then sell it at exuberant prices

how'd you summon the food fairy?

I had watched a lot of hog hunting vids for some reason but the meat from them don't look appetizing.

...

D-did he hit the piggy with a toilet lid?

It's a sink, I think.

Keep it as a Pet to feed off my kitchen waste. And home Defense.

How's your slime?

gut it, crawl into the carcass and hold out until spring.

>What do you do with it?
Streaky bacon
Sausages
Carnitas
a blanket with the skin.

Exuberant=joyful
Exorbitant=overpriced
TMYK

No law against paying a man to cut your meat

But it is illegal, where I am, to sell wild game commercially

Anyways I hate boars. Their hide is the worst

"exorbitant" means "indecently excessive", not necessarily related to cost

always got hungry looking at those feast panels desu

Dude boar hide is what they used to make tooth brushes with, ain't exactly the softest shit to lie on

Train it to hunt down truffles

Underrated post