Dude fuck breakfast

Only wake up starving if I've eaten too much before I sleep. Learn to portion control, tubby.

I just like to pound a protein shake for breakfast and then either eat a massive lunch or just suffer and eat a massive dinner.

>do you never wake up already FUCKING STARVING?

No, I have a great diet.

Faggot manchild detected.

My morning routine is so easy and I cook breakfast for me and the wife daily.

> Wake up
> Put kettle on
> Take a leisurely shit
> Kettle's done, add to french press for coffee
> Get cast iron skillet working
> Get dressed
> Cook eggs, toast, and sausage in same skillet
> Eat with delicious Vermont maple syrup
> Sometimes have quicky sex with wife
> All in about an hour

Seriously stop being a faggot manchild. While all this is going on my wife does morning chores...feeding our dogs and ducks, etc.

Can't eat scrambled eggs and bacon in the morning? You're in serious trouble.
Drink wholemilk, cheese and white bread? Idk

I weigh 118 pounds SMART ASS
What brand do you use? Body Fortress tastes like fucking shit and I have 4 tubs of it I can't bring myself to drink. I bake with it.
>shitting before you eat or drink coffee
liar detected gtfo

I just grab 8-packs of my local store brand pre-made shakes for convenience' sake. I haven't experimented with actually making it from mix, although that seems much more economical.

A 180 calorie shake usually gets me through most of the day. I'll throw down a huge lunch if it's a training day or usually just wait till dinner on my off days.

Take two of those freezer waffles. Toast them long enough that they're browned and crispy on the sides. Spread peanut butter on them and make a sandwich. Makes a killer breakfast. Not too filling (won't make you all bloated and sleepy) but keeps me satisfied until lunch.

I do this + occasional jam or syrup on it. makes a good on the go breaky. but i grow tired of waffles and bars.

thanks anyway, Veeky Forums i'm just going to fucking die

I agree, having to eat breakfast is shit. It doesn't help most breakfast foods are made to be sweet as can be possible (syrup, cereal, fruit, any breakfast bar that inevitably is smothered in chocolate). I hate sweet food, especially first thing in the morning. I wish they made salsa flavored cereal. That'd wake me up.

nigga you on to something

i fucking hate eggs and bacon is terrible for you, sausage, too
why is breakfast food so shit?

bump for not shit breakfast ideas

You forgot to take a shower.

Fruit smoothie with water instead of milk energizes me in the morning. Cold black tea replacing water to get a real caffeine boost.

You could get more sex in if you get your wife's son to do the chores. Or does Jamal actually visit lil tyrone and take him to school and shit?

Drink a bit of coffee to wake you up a little then just fry up two eggs with a side of toast and drink the rest of your coffee. Take some snacks with you to eat while you wait for lunch time.
I'd suggest getting some cheez-its in a flavor you like and snacking on them whenever you get too hungry. It's honestly one of the more filling snack foods out there. I suspect you're not too much of a lazy fuck to cook lunch or dinner, but if you are pm me :^)

when do you eat dinner? If I eat a heavy dinner at around 10 it'll hold me over till noon

>i fucking hate eating in the morning
>but if i don't, i get dizzy and can't get anything done

I'm with you on that. I want to eat something filling that isn't some bullshit like breakfast bars, useless carbs or fruit. Every time I eat a traditional breakfast, I feel thirsty and groggy for the next 5 hours, completely fucking up my entire day.

I might just say fuck it and eat something like salmon for breakfast.

interested in salmon
what's japanese breaky like?

What's up with that bug OP?

What's with that .gif user?

I soft boil 2 eggs every night before bed then refrigerate then eat over rye toast with butter and pan fry a small piece of thick sliced ham. With a banana. Literally less than 5 minutes for a well rounded breakfast.

buy a blender

add 1 cup milk (faggy almond milk with vanilla flavoring works best), 1/2 cup of yogurt, a banana, 1 tbsp of peanut butter, and a fuckton of spinach (chop that shit up ahead of time if your blender is shit)

it basically tastes like a peanutbutter/banana milk shake, you don't taste the spinach at all (although it does make the shake green), its fucking easy to make, and its extremely filling. if you need it to be even more filling, add a scoop of whey protein powder.

>not taking a shower

yuropoor detected

>shitting before you eat or drink coffee
>liar detected gtfo
people who don't drink coffee shit too...

I go to a place before work where I live that has toast with cream cheese, trout, and fennel. It's so fucking good. They're like $9 though so I only go once a week. You could probably easily make it at home.

>what's japanese breaky like?

If you were guessing, how did you know I was Japanese? I used to eat breakfast like pic when I went to Japan. I remember the tofu, sausage, perfectly square toast and various kinds of fish.

Thinking now, this is exactly how I should eat breakfast.

i feel like i'm the only one that doesn't partake in this meme. the consistency of cold cheese and sauce is like chewing on a fat girls inner thigh in my mouth. hard bread isn't great either.

>miso soup, salmon, and rice for breakfast

there's something really off with japan

OP here. As I read this thread there are some really good ideas here (like spinach shakes, I used to do that) but I guess what my real problem is is that I'm a fucking lazy piece of shit who doesn't want to do anything in the morning. I'm sitting here with a cup of coffee and a packet of chocolate Belvita bars, like always. It's almost 8AM, I'll be starving by 10.

Just fuck breakfast.

get a nice husband to cook you meals
alternately keep yogurt clif bars and other no effort edibles around like cottage cheese or bagels- eating something a little bit trashy is better than feeling like youre about to pass out at 10:30 am
Good luck user

Do Americans think everyone in the world eats American breakfast foods?

Just fuck you, you lazy piece of shit

Make something the day before. Grab and go stuff

Just eat a protein bar or a banana or something.
I hate eating after waking up too but usually eggs or a fruit drink is good.

I was in a similar situation for a while and i resorted to morning shakes
I read that most people find it easier to drink smth in the morning rather than chew through a steak and such

So anyway, a ~300 calorie shake for me was:
about 200ml full milk
30g oats
80g strawberries (like 5 of them)
40g grapes (6ish)
30g cranberries (a handful)

You can adjust the calories easily with the oats, the rest is really for the taste and some vitamins. You'll get about 100calories per 25g of oats that you throw in, so that's like a full tablespoon

His use of the word "kettle" gave that away.

That's a lot to eat for just one meal, even by American standards.

Every morning I fall into the same routine and make the same shit

>wake up
>use bathroom
>put contacts in
>stretch
>get on bike machine in my room and cycle for 5 miles
>go to kitchen
>get a 1/2 cup of Bob's Red Mill Old Fashioned Oatmeal
>add 2 tablespoons of chia and ground flax seed mix
>add 4 packets of Stevia sweetener
>sift it around
>add cup of water
>heat up for 2 minutes
>Chop up banana into bowl
>Add in one 170g package of blue berries after washing them
>mix them around
>heat up again for 2 minutes
>make coffee after done eating

Then I just play vidya/browse internet/3D model for 30 - 40 minutes before leaving for work.

The meal itself comes out to around 500 calories or so, it's nice and filling and will keep you full until lunch, also helps you poop especially if you exercise.

Japanese adopt Western foods in weird ways. Pretty sure fried rice omelettes and pancakes/oatmeal bowls with fish/ketchup on them is normal over there.