New rule: unless you’re in palliative fucking care dying in a hospital alone you’re not allowed to have someone make you breakfast and serve it to you in bed. Especially not from your girlfriend. You’re not a baby, life’s not a womb, it’s horrible, get the fuck out of bed and sit at the table and face up to the crippling anxiety attack that is modern life. What, does she hold your little cock while you make toilet so you don’t get wee wee all over the floor? Wash you with a fucking rag ?? Have some self respect - god damn couples are disgusting. Fucking away in bed like pieces of shit trying to make some sort of child they have to keep alive. Slaving away in some dogshit job trying to save up for a house - stashing all that money away in a big ol’ treasure chest like some sort of fucking pirate ship man.
New rule: unless you’re in palliative fucking care dying in a hospital alone you’re not allowed to have someone...
Why do you even want a house anyway? Who cares? It’s not the fucking 90s - just go on the internet and just rent a house; it’s easy - stop trying to be like your parents. Owning a house is embarrassing anyway, what, you’re just going to buy some land hmm? Like some sort of colonial shit cunt from England? Got yourself a nice little block of land did ya? Haven’t you done well for yourself? The dream is over, jesus christ, let it go. If this dueling home ownership thinkpiece-narrative between idealistic self obsessed cowardly fuckheads from Gen Y media and pink skinned fat faced racists from The Daily Telegraph doesn’t end soon i’m going to tie a belt around my neck and the doorknob and just go the full Hutchence. You’re not special either you baby boomer cunt - if you had fully charged mobile phones with the internet and delivery cocaine and imported goats cheese and $9 milkshakes when you were younger instead of Chiko Rolls and whatever else it is you had; seesaws at the park, glasses of water, cheap cigarettes, free education, a will to live, all that nonsense, if you had what we have you wouldn’t own your precious fucking house, trust me.
You’d be living with me in a sharehouse watching Curb Your Enthusiasm on your laptop drinking tinnies on the floor in your underwear like the piece of shit you really are.
how do I unsubscribe to this blog
Sounds like someone got put in the friend zone while their crush bought a house with a guy who spoils her. I got some peanut butter, OP, put it in a sandwich with all that jelly
Who even eats food in bed? thats fucking disgusting. Getting crumbs and shit all over
it's a saying dweeb
Bernie cuck detected, faggot.
Aside from the microwaveable frozen breakfast sausage links, that actually looks like a bretty gud breakfast
>shit cunt
ausfag detected
Fuck that. I make my wife dinner almost every night. Most days she serves me coffee in bed, and has breakfast ready shortly thereafter. I like that. Oh, and we're both self employed, so neither of us are alving away at some kind of dogshit job. We work like 10 or 20 hours a week and do cool shit the rest of the time.
Either a new pasta or someone with truly impressive levels of buttmad.
>going to pee
>call wife into the room
>"i need help"
>grabs my cock
>she can't aim it
>at all
>piss everywhere
At least she tried.
the only reason you feel this way is cuz youre miserable lol
you honestly should kill yourself, not because I'm trying to be mean, but I can tell that your life is so sad that youll be nothing but sad and pessimistic the rest of your life, just end it dude.
>i’m going to tie a belt around my neck and the doorknob and just go the full Hutchence
What's stopping you?
this, I mean if you're bitching about relationships and people owning houses on the fucking cooking board of a taiwanese cave painting website, you're already at the lowest low you can be, better to just neck yourself.
->2016
-> Not having your girl hold your penis when you pee to do the aiming
I don't get breakfast in bed though, because like another user said, that's gross. I don't want crumbs and stuff where I sleep. Eat food at the table.
>
It's that easy.
>Especially not from your girlfriend.
What if she wants to? What do you do then, say no? Maybe she doesn't see it as babying at all. Maybe she likes to give her man the royal treatment. If she wants to treat you like a king, I say let her. And if you're too obtuse tell whether she's trying to treat you like a king or treat you like a baby, then it's probably better for everyone that your personality is scaring them all away.
i knew i fucked something up
>I don't want crumbs and stuff where I sleep.
I don't either, but breakfast trays do exist, just sayin
>needing to aim
You're sitting on the bowl, how do you miss?
this isnt vice.com
I literally only stand if she's aiming for me. Am i a lazy piece of shit? Is this a weird and unhealthy relationship?
quality moderating there, janitors
this is proper Veeky Forums related content
>and then you wonder why you don't get payed
s-sorry
To a thread like this you should be someone really bitter and lonely.
Y u mad tho?
*You must be really lonely and bitter to make a thread like this
honestly don't know if there should be a comma between 'bitter' and 'to'
>don't know if there should be a comma
There should not be one. You passed.
10/10
Excelent thread, lads. Very good.
WOW get a look of mr. not bitter and lonely over here guys! Guys look! This guy's really got his shit together! Gonna tell us about your girlfriend next you normalfag SHIT
thanks user
user you probably didn't get that I was attempting to correct the other user's sentence, not addressing those insults to him
but it's k, it's a cancer thread anyway
'least I learned something
>and I passed
this can't be real
Who are you quoting?
ur mom
Hnnnnnnnggg those bushy fucken brows
>Not pissing outside
The fuck is wrong with you?
Did break containment protocols again?
You have subscribed to REEEEEEEEEEEEE facts.
Atheists are fucking retards. They took a method designed to study the natural world, applied to supernatural concepts DIDNT FIND SHIT and said "Fuck it! theres nothing there!" GENIUS! Next time you get a boner, crash that bad boy into a solid wall a dozen or so times then say "theres no such thing as pussy!" and tell me you arent a retard, you fucking retards!
>tfw no waifu to make an elaborate breakfast for just to get a "good boy" and pat on the head while kneeling beside the bed
dafuq
>spot the poor Millennial
Goddamn, poor people shouldn't have the right to vote.
Or basic rights.
Lol
Most atheists I know are not philosophical naturalists, they accept some deep mystery in the universe but don't accept any individual claims about it without proof.
t. Guy who thinks making 70k a year makes him rich
>never having had a girlfriend who loves you so much that she wakes you up for morning sex and brings you food.
Yeah, man. You should totally sperg out when chicks do nice things for you.
its a copypaste from tumblr lmao
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