I made meatballs. Would you eat them?

Six bucks. I just took this job running a cafe in a fine art museum. It's...weird. I come from years at an extremely busy 200 seat mom and pop, very fast casual. This is a different thing. Our regular menu is extremely pedestrian but we have a tapas night each Tuesday and this is one of the things I ran utilizing leftovers from our parent company which is a big catering company.

Pretty straight forward actually. I smoked a bunch of tomatoes, just a couple of hours in a low smoke hickory fire, dehydrated them and then ran it in through a coffee grinder (I use it for spices exclusively) with some kosher salt. Pic related is the original brisket tapas I made the smoked tomato salt for.

Café? A café with... meatballs? A café in a fine art museum with meatballs? Truly the world has more than one can fathom. Isn't tapas meant for the evening? Museums don't stay open so late in my experience. I suppose it would be too revealing to ask where it is but I'll ask anyway. Where is this meatball serving, tapas afternoon, fine art museum?

only if i can meet your balls, user ;)

I just looked up tapas after writing this and it appears it is an afternoon thing. I look like a bit of a tit now.

I would prefer some of Kays good meatballs, honestly
youtube.com/watch?v=9BKcjBaKRkk

With the exception of Tuesday, the cafe operates eleven to three and the museum hours are ten to four. On Tuesday's it's free admission and we stay open from eleven until nine. Live music, drink specials and, unique tapas each week.

I would prefer her oil black eggs for brunch, personally.

Why do you hate balls of meat user? They were, pretentious presentation notwithstanding, delicious. Also, there were other options.and I'm in Florida,.

>she puts lard into the pot to cook the eggs in
>it turns black as soon as it melts
sort of says something about the hygiene of her cookware

I wouldn't worry about it. No one but an autist noticed. Thanks for the tip on smoked tomato salt.

Sorry I was a dick initially. You're a genuinely decent human being. I normally save my venom for pretentious jackasses, and you're not that.

Thanks again.

Wut? Are you OP? If so, who is this

Can no one follow conversation? I'm not OP you moron.

I am, in fact, both of those, that is to say, me.

Which makes me wonder how many years of flavor have been burnt into that particular saute pan. I'm not saying it would be good, but it would be...historic.

>I am, in fact, both of those, that is to say, me.
Apparently you are also William Shatner

I'm happy to share. I don't think any chef worth their salt should hoard recipes or techniques. I'm good at what I do but I'm not great. I've, surprisingly, learned and been led into a lot of interesting directions on this board. I try to give back when I can.

That's oddly topical. We spent an hour today in my kitchen listening to William Shatner covers. It started with Rocket Man, but in introducing my sous to that fantastic bit of musical ephemeral I discovered a plethora of other (I'm assuming) more recent covers. It's wonderful morning music in the kitchen.

Just...beacuse. I don't know about where you work but in my kitchen, everybody sings and everybody laughs. This is moral gold.

youtube.com/watch?v=CthW1MgWYuE

*morale

I used to work in a kitchen as well, we listened tothrash metal. I was not unuasual for our head chef to almost fight other staff. Our KP didn't take his shit though and they actually had fist fights on occassion. The KP usually won though, I was always surprised he never got fired from spite. He was fucking good at his job though. Looking back, I think they might have been gay boys.

That's a possibility, though honestly, I'm not an aggressive leader so I've only had a couple of blow ups with my cooks. I'm generally more the shaming type, If I can't work your station better and cleaner than you than I don't get to call you on your shit. Of course, I can, so on occasion I've taken people off their stations and had them stand byto watch while I rocked it and then gave it back to them once service slowed.

I never had that problem, I went from dishwasher to pizza chef in 2 months (the old dishwasher got promoted when I was hired and then demoted as I took his job, I kinda felt sorry for him but he was a lazy cunt).. It wasn't high end but I made and tossed the dough and had some say in ingredients. This was a kitchen where we had input and it was so weird seeing the chef blow up at the KP. This is why I think they were lovers on reflection.

>plating and presentation like that
>in the cafe of a museum for 6 dollars

would you be offended if I called you a liar

The kitchen dynamic is a strange one, especially in places that don't actually have a brigade system in place. We have a saying that it isn't personal during the rush. I've heard some completely horrible and inappropriate things said in the heat of the moment that out of context would have led to blows but ultimately, at the end of a crazy service ended up being shots and beers. Kitchen culture is fucked up, but it seems to work for the people who are in it.

That is exactly my point though, shit gets rough on a busy service and you can laugh about it later when you aren't in one million degrees celsius and rushing. I think that I am still processing the realisation that my chef and KP were having violent pseudo sex at work.

Not at all. It's a strange situation. We hemorrhage money. The thing is, the company I work for has a major restaurant in our city, but makes most of it's money doing catering. It is a catering company, first and foremost. We run the cafe so that they get by default every function and event that takes place at the museum (which also has really amazing gardens). So we're basically just filling space so that the company can do three or four $20,000 events a month at this establishment. As I said previously, it's a strange gig. This is the first time I've ever worked in a kitchen where labor and food cost were just sort of...inconsequential. So we service the twenty or thirty people a day who are visiting the museum and want to stop in for a grilled cheese sandwich or sala, and once a week i make three or four tapas that are delicious and beautiful but nobody buys because they just want a grilled cheese sandwich or macaroni and cheese. I changed the pricing to $6 for our tapas this week to see if it would make any difference in what people bought. It didn't. I did this salmon crudo, for six dollars, and sold two.

Every one has a work wife in the kitchen. And it isn't gay if you say good game at the end of it.

Maybe you should make the servings bigger so people don't pay more for less

Typical fat American. Caring more about portion size than flavor. I bet you would ask for extra kraft singles to go with your bucket of free bread. Disgusting.

Not that guy, but if it were a multiple course dinner that serving size would be a non-issue. However, given that this is a single, individual serving they're paying for and not multiple dishes... it is on the small side.

OP said it was tapas you uncultured fat cunt.

>meatballs not round
>your finished dish is a cyclops
Nope

I have read a lot of stupid shit here but I honestly can't decipher this. Are you mentally ill?