How do I spice up the hospital food without leaving hospital bed?

it is the hospital dress, I hate it but they say they dont give out shirts and pants like the doctors and nurses wear. I want to wear their clothes instead of the dress

when I pick up the phone it connects me to the front desk how do I fix this?

Ask for an outside line

I figured out how to dial the other number line.
I usually do not eat pizza to go but I am ordering from the papa johns because they have coupons in the phonebook
what kind of pizza do you recommend?

I hope you're ok

how do these literal retards find their way to Veeky Forums? fuck off back to facebook, dipshit.

Spaghetti pizza

they gave me paper scrubs when i pissed myself and was time to check out

I ordered the pepperoni and pineapple

thank you, I am in the hospital

you're hot. let's fuck and i'll bring all sorts of delicious home cookery and/or spice up your hospital chow for you. unless you're in hospital for some STD or something. actually, strike that. i'd want your cooties. you're that hot.

Make a fucking mess breaking everything nearby until nurses rush in and are forced to Medicare you
You won't give too much of a fuck about spice adter