Share your best bar stories

>typing ye

Well that's nice, Irvine Welsh browses Veeky Forums

>go to expensive bar with friend
>we order 18 dollar cocktails
>it's pretty expensive
>we have a good time anyway

>yanks
I'm from Texas you faggot, I ain't no yank

So, I went to this Heavy Metal bar about two years ago where a friend was celebrating her birthday.

Her then boyfriend was a dudebro kind of guy who'd throw tantrums if you looked at him the wrong way, which eventually happened with some random guy who was apparently "rude" to his girl. When things escalated, IRON MAIDEN - THE TROOPER starting playing on the jukebox. It was fucking perfect. They ended up going outside and nothing happened. I was pretty chill with him though, we talked about video games and God of War.

Later that night I unintentionally rejected two other girls, friends of hers, who asked me to take the last bus with them. One of them was a short haired qt who was smiling and sweet talking earlier but I was way too drunk to get it, so fuck me.

I ended up staying and getting wasted with the dudebro's cousin, who was depressed because he just got dumped by his girl. We talked a lot about drugs and other shady businesses. We stayed until 5 in the morning, drinking with random strangers we both didn't know. We somehow managed to make it to the main station and parted ways.

Overall a decent night. That was the last time I went to a bar since then.

Never spoke to or seen any of them ever again.

>stop looking around, waiting for something to happen

Well, in 'murrica we can't really do that because odds are, someone will pull out an assault rifle and start firing up the place. Always have to be on the alert in the land of freedom, you know?

HAHA that fucking sepo thinks he isn't exactly the same as every other yank.

>drunk and on xanax at a burger place/bar
>dollar beer night
>sitting next to this chick and some guy but alone
>other couple on the side of me and a drifter/trucker next to them
>make small talk with chick while that guy is gone
>she's not responding well
>for some reason (I don't know why to this day)
>put my jacket on to leave as guy is sitting back down
>blurted out "your girlfriend is a coal burning whore"
>followed that up by a joke about how no one would ever rape HER
>got punched so hard he broke my eye socket and confused me for a couple minutes
>go home after people start telling me the police are coming (I had more xanax and marijuana in my pocket)
>run a block then called my brother to pick me up
>told him I got hit by a car
>went to the hospital the next day
>when I woke up the next morning my head was so swollen I looked like an alien

9news.com.au/national/2016/12/10/08/26/man-left-unconscious-with-fractured-skull-on-sydney-footpath-after-fight

strewth

>Share your best bar stories
Two Germans walk into a BAR
They died
The End
greetings from /k/

uh, i think that heavy metal guy was me. ive basically done exactly that. it was even the trooper that came on the jukebox

kek if I saw this happen I'd buy you a beer at another bar

Nice one /k/ommando

>>drinks are expensive, AND you're expected to tip
AND you have terrible service on top of it.

I've never been to a bar and said to myself
>Wow I've gotten swift, friendly service and never once did I have to call out to the waiter or try and figure out what kind of body language I needed to strike to signify that my empty beer needed to be replaced with a full one.

>bar

wat is dis

Well, I don't tip food servers but I do tip bartenders a dollar a drink, everytime. And in places where I'm a regular, my drink or beer is never empty, even on busy nights. So I call bullshit.

>Xanax
>¿¿¿???
>In a bar talking to a girl about xanax
> Drink something
>????
>Getting out of cab at a strip club
>??????
>Home the next morning, shoes all muddy, 150$ poorer
> Guess xanax me had a good time

>waste $150 to not even remember what you wasted it on
sure sounds like a good time.

>was way too drunk to get it,
YUP
U
P

TWICE

FUCK.

Legit open offers for sex that I've completely dodged, because it was the end of the night and I was too fucking drunk. My friend ended up going on a date and fucking one of them that I passed on. She was a qt too.

Regardless I vowed to always be the least drunk person at every party I go to now. The loss of control is just never worth it. Like what happens if someone starts hitting on your gf, or you can't find your wallet? or the cops show?

Never again

i fucking hate people that cant use xanax responsibly.

You take 1-2 mg's at once to see how it will effect you. If you can handle that does with no problem, take 1-2 mg's every 2-3 hours for the rest of the night. If things go right, you will end up at taco bell spending $30 on food for all your friends, and back home tearing up puss.

LOL u tak him to da BAR?

My man

Saw a dude drink 3 pitchers of beer ate some fajitas and then had 17 shots of vodka. He went to the bus stop passed out and a bunch of black dudes robbed him stole his duffel bag all while he was asleep with throw up on his shirt

fucking niggers man

All xanax ever made me do was order a bunch of stupid shit from dell and order some australian lady a pizza.

Yeah It was in the south too they swarmed him taking all his stuff surrounding him while he was unconscious instead of helping a dude out. I had asked the man before he left if he needed a ride or help and he was really reluctant in the fact that he was good to go. My guess is the dude was a alcoholic over did it and knocked himself out no one would go up to the pack of black dudes I mean there was 3 cars pulled up and like 11 black people around him smoking drinking yelling taking his shit while he was knocked out, hope the dude went off okay

Only time I go to the bar is when I want to go to the whisky bar to try new shit and add it to my collection of notes since I want to get into international trade especially regarding spirit imports/exports.

>tfw first time at bar
>thinking it's going to be friendly and cool like the show Cheers
>dudebros buying nothing but bud light and hitting on girls
>bartender looks at me weird when i order a draft
>too loud, jukebox has nothing but EDM shit on it

Why do people like Bars again?

I grew up in a town less than 2000 people and the bar was always comfortable. Now that I live in NY I miss the small town bars

The ambiance, my man. The best bars are the more posh ones, with an older crowd.

Go to a smaller bar, or a dive. Those are the best. Popular bars are usually borderline club bullshit.

>an older crowd

Calm the fuck down, J.J Abrams.

you just have to shoot one and the rest scurry off like the vermin they are.

Last time I went to a bar, a crowd of three people laughed at me.

This happened a couple of months ago. I just pray to God that some mad Muslim blow up some of these motherfuckers in Seattle cause I don't possess violent tendencies.

What did you do that made them laugh at you? Were they roasties?

I don't know what a roastie is. I was just having a drink and a meal on a Saturday night alone at the bar.

It is, it is just so hurtful. I can't handle this. I have to sign off Veeky Forums for the night.

>associating JewJew Abrahams with the "older crowd"

>J.J Abrams
>Implying I'm one of (((them)))

>and a burger from the store
What did he mean by this?

>found by some people in Beijing
>someone bought me a $100+ cigar, in some fuck stuffy richfag part of town
>apparently my benefactor knows the owner of some underground club
>what the fuck that's a brick wall why is it opening oh shit it's a salsa club
>bottle service
>bitch doing line of something off my hairy chest what the fuck
>pay some dude some chinese monopoly money to take me back to the university
>he could have taken me to rape dungeon #5 and I would not have known
>wake up trying to figure out what happened that night

ye is the plural of you

What the fuck do you cunts say, y'all? youse?

shut up jew

did you check your hairy chest for remnants of that drug?

Checked.

Why not leave then?

What's the craic big lad

>going to sports bars or ""clubs"" on the weekend

Feel bad for how uninformed this comment is; hopefully you're just naive. I don't even like going out that much but even in my small city I can find a couple bars where it's nice to sit down and chat with the bartenders. Some even occasionally project movies on the wall or have some art up and you can almost always fuck off and read a book if you want. Plus it's nice to be able to buy a beer you want to try or grab a mixed without having to commit to a 6-pack or bottle.

Are there cheaper ways to drink? Obviously. But it's nice to change up the atmosphere time to time and nobody's making you get shitfaced and spend a fortune on tips...

>Like what happens if someone starts hitting on your gf, or you can't find your wallet? or the cops show?

You gotta be 18, bud.

MG42 >>> BAR

Only time I go out as an event is when my younger friends want to get shitty downtown or when my fagulous friend comes into town.

On the regular, I go 2-3 times a week to our skeeball league at a local bar . Currently doing league matches Monday, Sunday and coaching amateur league on Tuesday. Since I work at 5am m-f, I can't get too wild with the kids anymore, but we have fun.

Epin bar story, one time I got kicked out of a bar for peeing outside. Fucking mad man.

Nigger that's on you. I pretty much blacked out last night (granted I drank alone at home) and when I woke up everything was picked up. My food was in the fridge, counters clean and the doggies were put away. And teeth were brushed.

Depends on the kind of person you are. I have maybe left my credit card at a bar once and at most I was tipsy. I was just an idiot who wanted to leave so didn't think. Whereas my brother and my friends have left shit everywhere multiple times.

Sorry you're an irresponsible nigger

I saw this dude that I hated chatting up some older gal, so I went over and sat next to her and bought her a drink and completely cucked him which was satisfying.

Once I was drunk she asked me if I would go home with her and eat her pussy, and I did.

I regretted it the next morning because she was old enough to be my mom, but was still satisfied that I cock blocked that one faggot.

Sounds hot.

Did you penetrate?

reminds me of a time when i was working at a bar and some guy got his ass kicked over a game of pool so he went to his car, got his pistol, and came back in threatening to shoot everyone. didn't fire a shot or anything, just waved it around then ran off. the bar was right across the street from a police station, too

youre a hero

thats a good one

>I regretted it the next morning because she was old enough to be my mom

I dont see the issue here, unless youre in your late 30s or something

How do you coach skeeball?

>be at rich guy's birthday party
>bring a bottle of JD with me
>don't have any mixer
>walk around the party the whole night with my bottle of JD drinking from the bottle
>drink making station in his kitchen
>at this point do not remember anything
>get behind bar
>start making people drinks
>become bartender for the evening
>pass out on a couch
I only know about this from other people.

>bar stories

It's half bullshit, half actual strategy. Half of it is mostly the boys getting drunk and acting like this is serious business. Amateur league, we do baseball rules so there has to be a little coaching on if someone is rolling well or not to roll 40's (generally the safest roll for noobies) or to shoot hundos.

If you're in Austin, Brooklyn, Los Angeles, Philadelphia, San Francisco or Wilmington join your local league. Shits fun and a good way to get drunk and meet people.