What do YOU know about good fruit punch?

I don't even know what punch is. I've only seen it in American movies.

There is no excuse for not knowing anything when you have the keys to the entire internet in your pocket.

That it isn't good?

Mexican aguas frescas are better.

I only know it from American shows where the COOL DUDES™ "spike the punch", and shenanigans ensue.

>DOES ANYONE HERE ACTUALLY KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT PUNCH?

Clyde Phillips is one half of the married criminal duo known as Punch and Jewelee. The pair are considered a joke, as most people don't take them too seriously, which they soon regret; the pair are amoral individuals who act out of sheer whim or a strict plan, making them as almost as unpredictable as the Joker.

Punch grew up in Brooklyn with Jewelee, and the two young lovers worked as puppeteers at Coney Island by day, and as thieves by night. Their lives stayed mostly the same until Clyde Phillips found a container filled with alien weaponry, which they both quickly mastered.

They used the alien technology to create a large underground headquarters base in Coney Island. As Clyde and his wife had always been puppeteers, they decided to adapt the characters of Punch and Judy to themselves. The pair started a brief criminal career along the East Coast.

The couple then decided to use a mind-recording device to steal the minds of very prominent nuclear scientists and sell their knowledge to the highest bidder, making them the enemies of King Faraday and Nightshade. Their continued mindless acts of violence brought them fame, making them very good candidates for the Suicide Squad.

My family makes a punch for every wedding, funeral, baby shower, etc. that is so fucking good, but I don't know everything that's in it. I know it involves pineapple juice, some other juices, and that they add ginger ale before serving. It's fucking good, I could drink that shit all day (although nowadays, I'd probably spike it with vodka).

>and that they add ginger ale before serving
Like, individually?

I prefer sangria, but you really can't go wrong with tropical fruit juices and rum. I like pineapple as the base, with mango. Lots of fruit, lots of booze but not tooo much. Maybe triple sec, maybe tequila. But no captain. Cruzan or better. Skip the ginger ale, add sparkling wine before service.

Neat. Thanks.

No, they add it to the punch in the punchbowl.

punch bowls are disgusting because a lot of dust and spit and sneezes and coughs fall into the large opening.

Why not put the fruit punch into a dispenser?

Also the fruit will eventually spoil in a few hours.

thats actually called a blue hole. some say it's better than an orgasm.

NOTHING, I KNOW NOTHING

YOU ARE ABOUT TO LEARN A LOT ABOUT PUNCH BUDDY

what I know is - with time, as the evening progresses, the pineapple pieces in fruit punch turn into razor blades and hurt really, really bad.

most storebought oranges have a bitter skin, even the bio-oranges

also, berries are so effin soacked, they give you more buzz than the liquid

that it's a hilarious avenue for dispensing LSD?

Make the base hibiscus tea.

1. Cold-brew hibiscus tea (hibiscus tea being even richer than green tea in antioxidants) over night, making it quite strong, with slices of lemon and strawberry
2. Sweeten with erythritol; it is by far the healthiest non-caloric sweetener, while it also tastes nice and has a pleasant fruity note

>sugar+water+blue+fruit
>fruit punch

...

Apparently I'm not that clever, and this was already a thing: agua de Flor de Jamaica

The best in the worst called swamp frog. Take a 5 gallon cooler with a spigot. Add a couple 2L bottles of sprite, a couple of 151, and one of golden grain. Add to this one container lemon lime kool-aid with sugar, several cans of mixed citrus fruit with syrup, and then top off with sprite till full. Let refrigerate open for at least 3 days. Then serve from spigot. Eat the fruit to get extra fucked up.