Itt stupid cooking habits your family has

>ground

I never had nutmeg but I had to babysit a friend who got high on it once during an afternoon concert in the river
He what and vomited himself and me and the other friend where pretty drunk, one girl that knew him asked I he swallowed all right when he was passed out in the grass and we told him to say hi to her, he vomited instead and she called the police
We ended up having to carry him home due to his facination with walking the train rails and tripping on nothing and falling to the floor

she's wrong, but a tiny little bit not wrong - macis... I kno, I know, it never is on storebought nuts and its less nutmeg-y, and basically another spice.

you can get high on nutmeg?
how?

by eating a whole nut (or acouple) at once

my dad had it once back in the day when he was a wee lad. told me he shit three days worth of crap afterwards

>My alcoholic mother cooks everything on the lowest heat/temperature so that it takes 4 hours to cook and there's no risk of it burning if she gets drunk and forgets about it for half an hour
That's pretty smart. Is that actually the reason behind her low heat strategy (lowering fire risk)?

To any anons, research this, and then you'll know why you should NOT do this.

Your family's nuts. But not as bad as mine, who think that the opaque brown (steak) or white (chicken) juices that coagulate and eventually form fond in the pan is actually FAT and must not be eaten. I could disagree-but-understand them not liking fat because their cardiologists, but it's fucking heme and intramuscular fluids and the fucking saline they inject my parents' chicken tits with so AT LEAST THEY HAVE SOME RESIDUAL FLAVOR WHEN THEY'RE OVERCOOKED TO DEATH AND YOU'VE THROWN OUT THE ONLY FUCKING WAY YOU COULD MAKE A SAUCE FOR THEM. (Speaking of overcooking, why yes, my parents also prefer their steak "well done," why is nobody surprised?)

>mommy

I like turkey burgers every now and again. It can't be some gamey brand like Jennie-o though. I appreciate that turkey is supposed to have a flavour of its own, I just think their ground stuff is rank.

My mom makes "egg rolls" from a recipe she got from some Asian lady she used to know. You basically make a very thin omelette, cover it with a mixture of hamburger, chopped onion, and soy sauce, then roll it up like a jelly roll and bake it til done. Then you serve it with soy sauce. Anybody else ever hear of this?

That is some ja/ck/ level cookery

>puts retarded amounts of ginger in pretty much everything
>doesn't even bother cutting it small enough

It actually isn't too bad. I just can't handle that level of salt anymore.

And she does know how to make real egg rolls; every now and then we get together and make a big batch together because it's easieri f you divide up the work.

>you can get high on nutmeg?
>how?

You just eat a lot of it. Fresh ground nuts are best.

Also, it's FUCKING TERRIBLE and will make you feel like shit for en entire day or two afterwards. There isn't really a good high, it just fucks you up and you remain fucked up for a looooong time. Just take a large dose of benedryl instead if you want to get somewhat fucked up... that at least wears off fast, alcohol likewise is much better and wears off fast.
Nutmeg- just say no. (Seriously it's awful.)

No, but with a Chinese mom that makes "hamburger rice," that doesn't sound bad...

>Memey

>Knowing Asian people

This, and don't forget Benadryl will dry you out. I can't even take a regular dose before bed without keeping saline spray by the bed to re-moisten my nasal passages. I can't imagine what 3-4 of those things will do.

Mumy?

kek

Yea, Koreans do this using egg and seaweed. My family calls them egg rolls too.

Are you high on nutmeg right now? Is that why you can't write for shit?

Also remember when the benadryl starts to kick in.

The bugs are real.

Even if it weren't even throughout, wouldn't it stand to reason that the most flavor would be on the inside?

It makes my prostate tingle

depends. apples might not have the same function as a nutmeg, but they have most sugars around the outside.

Variation of tamagoyaki?

I'm not high on nutmeg, you fuckers. Nutmeg is obviously dead and there is no way, I could even operate a computer that high.

You cant even operate a computer properly now jesus christ proofread your shit you type like a fucking 12 year old trying to sound smart.

...

That image isn't appropriate in any relevant context. Just another example of how fucking retarded you are. Stop posting.

Hey man, why don't you chill down and take a nice clean cut line of fresh nutmeg. Maybe add a bit of cinnamon or all-spice for a little extra bang.

>cant
*can't
>jesus christ
*Jesus Christ
>12 year old
*twelve year old
>complete lack of grammar and punctuation
I suggest it is you who needs to proof-read your "shit".
You are in no position to criticize
No excuses, hypocrite.

>that line spacing

You can't even keep up with your own shtick, pathetic..

>shtick
I don't think you know what that word means.

On the contrary, I'm very familiar with the word and use it regularly. Meanwhile, I believe you had to Google it just now. It's pretty obvious actually.

Chill out bitch it was funny

You are by far the two most pretentious faggots on this board. Neither of you are going to win this cock measuring contest you're having.

HAHAHAHAHA

Love it if real

Change your tampon faggot you clearly haven't been here long if that's what you call pretentious.

Maybe, at one time. But not now, not in this context.

kill yourself

Kill yourselves

Glad I'm not the only one who thought of this when reading that post

"no"

>Maybe, at one time. But not now, not in this context.
dropped into this thread to say I'm cringing at you

what a cringeworthy post holy shit kill yourself

my dad rinses his blocks of cheese under warm water before using

- overcooking absolutely everything (gray steaks and vegetables, stringy tuna and pork)

-not tasting the food during cooking

-filling saucepans with too much water

-using a plastic tub when washing dishes when there's a perfectly good stainless steel sink

-overcrowding pans

-not letting oil get hot enough before frying

-enormous portions

-using a different glass every time they have a drink there's a big pile of them that need to be washed

-never using sharp enough knives so onions are torn instead of chopped

>-using a plastic tub when washing dishes when there's a perfectly good stainless steel sink

my sister and i have observed that all wh*te people do this

They make a big deal of of soaking their beans for 12 hours before-hand.

I just cook black beans like rice, it takes

>itt stupid cooking habits
>posts something everybody should do
Good job Paco

What's the point of soaking beans?

It reduces cooking time by maybe 30-60 minutes, but cooking time is idle time anyway, and in exchange you have to add another 12 hours of idle time put the extra labor to do a separate soak. Plus, you have to remember the day before.

So in the end, you have 11-11.5 extra idle hours (marginally less the day you eat them I suppose), more labor, and they are worse tasting.

Benedryl is a nightmare drug for me. I'm allergic and simply can't use it. If I do, I'll lie in bed tossing and turning while being woken up by voices in the room. Its like it turns me schizophrenic.

Clairadryl is worse tho

Google translate kek

My family literally do not sharpen their knives. It's been 4 months since I moved out and they are all chipped and need a complete reworking. They are all blunt as shit and the only knife worth using is the one they don't use because it's "too big". All the pans are useless because they leave them in the dishwasher so the non stick Coating is now non-existent. They use that shitty spray oil on fucking everything because of the shitty slimming world diet and that's not the start of it. They barely ever use salt and pepper because it's 'healthier' and yet every single one of them is overweight except for me.

I've noticed that too - my family is all fat AF, and all of them are on some "diet" where they give up something stupid. Gluten free, oil free, salt free, sugar free, whatever. Meanwhile, I'm the only thin one - because I'm the only one that knows PORTION CONTROL

>not in this context

If anything it's even funnier since you seem to be so fucking upset about it.

you live in something I would consider my personal hell

move out, away, and visit sparingly. cancerous behaviour that will kill them, eventually.

I'm already at university and when I move out forever I'll probably never eat there again. My mother sparked my interest in cooking, but I can't stand it now.
It's infuriating. I'm the only one in my family seemingly aware if you weigh your food out first you cook the right amount. It's not even like it's hard these days with the power of Google.

seriously, wtf is with morons and not using salt?
My grandmother is 400lbs and doesn't salt her food during cooking because 'the sea is salty and that is why whales are fat'

she has passed the fear of salt to my mother (despite the fact she is obese and eats 3 large fries from mcdonalds each day for lunch). apparently 'the salt mcdonalds use is washed by industrial strength machines'

>the salt mcdonalds use is washed by industrial strength machines
Is this a meme? It doesn't fucking make sense.

Stop asking if everything is a meme

Is it a meme to ask if asking if something is a meme, a meme?

No. It's just shitposting.

help her

sharpen the knives on her bones

Actually, yes, oddly enough. The fact that you asked if it was a meme, or me explaining it arent memes tho.

>My mother sparked my interest in cooking, but I can't stand it now.
there's healthy and tasty ways to cook, don't fear food user san c:

Jesus, are you legitimately an autist?

Shit man, nobody blames you for it but you don't get humour. Stop trying.

He isn't the one guy asking if everything is a meme. He isn't the one you should be getting so
>salty
with.

This post has been observed and revealed as "bait", or at the very least useless shitposting or a bad joke, based on the following criteria:

- Severe under-usage of capital letters.
- Egregious, unnecessary information, likely to inflame even if deniably innocuous. Provoking section: "my sister".
- Mention of race.

Thank you for your time.

>it's you
I'm not made of ice, you idiot

>having parents who smoke so they over season everything
>having parents with the worst meat to noodles to sauce spaghetti meal
>mfw they tell me they can't taste what I've made because I haven't emptied half the spice rack on the hamburgers

>Mother microwaves €8 steaks till they're a ball of rubber and the plastic pacjaging has melted into it
>Offer to cook them and explain Maillard reaction etc
>"You don't know everthing with your stupid Chemistry degree"
>Cook my steak off the pan like a normal human being after she's finished with her histrionics
>Ask her try the steak I cooked
>Accuses me of some how being a rapist for asking again

>boils chicken

Do people really go wacky on benedryl? I take it every day for anxiety and sleep. Usually like 16 pills a day. There are some strange things related to the drug- Like, there's a weaker form that is only available by prescription and does jack shit, so why is it prescription?

I know I may be killing whatever organ(s) are involved, but I'm 1/2-1/3 of my way through a natural lifespan and really don't gaf. It wears off in a couple hours.

No nutmeg, though, that stuff is muff cabbage and leaves you fucked up for at least a day afterwards with ZERO benefits. Might as well sip some antifreeze and cut off a finger and stick it up my nose.

Christ take some Xanax man.

Done. I'm on benzos too:) They're very nice. Just don't get a psychiatrist with a substance abuse background that wants you to huff rosemary incense and do deep breathing exercises while she prescribes shittola shit fuck garbage and refuses to help otherwise.

I smoke over a pack a day and I don't over-season. Your parents just have shit tastes.
Put a bottle of hot sauce on the table when you cook for them, problem solved.

Are you fucking high on nutmeg right now?

lmfao dude

16 is 400mg, so with a tolerance, that won't do much but get you dopey.

try taking 64, you'll learn. benedryl is honestly crazier than DMT or LSD or shrooms in high dosages, only pcp is really more insane.

you have a mother that grates fresh nutmeg

you should be much more understanding. my mom buys cooked garlic and parmesan. i dont even think thats as bad.

>while she prescribes shittola shit fuck garbage and refuses to help otherwise.

Do you really not see why you should have said, "fuckoff?" Why do you let these medico-pharma corporate warriors control your life? The day the US populace says fuckoff to these greedy bastards will be the day we can say we're free.

>scraping the cutting board (plastic) multiple times with the cutting edge of a knife to "clean" it

>only washing dishes that have come in contact with grease, never mind the prep bowls that have been used to hold raw veggies, sugary fruits and starches for the past month?6months? or the cutting board stained with the blood and guts of thousands of poor plants

>completely avoiding fat and salt but overusing pickled ingredients and sugar

>stocking the pantry and fridge with truckloads of instant coffee, tea, cereals, premixed cakes, meme oils, anything but the staples

>never turning the knob past medium

>reusing disposable cutlery

>putting meme ingredients like ginger in E V E R Y T H I N G

>C A R B S with no protein and never enough veggies

>feeling the need to use up horribly processed store-bought sauces in like thai chili sauce and bbq sauce in recipes because "they're about to expire/ they're already expired*

>while washing dishes, trying to get away with as little soap and warm water (cold) as they can because they want to "help the environment" or "save money", never racking them up afterwards

>throwing used teabags and breadcrumbs in the sink, never rinsing down the sink

>never rinsing down used dishes and soaking them afterwords

>never disinfected a surface or towel in their life, nor seen a bottle of bleach

>leaving cooked food out to cool to room temp (sometimes overnight) before packing and refrigerating, if they find something that's warm in the fridge they take it out

>H O R R I B L E organizational skills and food safety practices in general

I've had way too many close calls in this kitchen. the last time I cut myself I didn't bleed because the calluses on my fingers saved me. I guess I should be thankful all things considered.

You're a fucking moron, the guy was clearly referencing that meme with the nutmeg/"live that long" post and someone posted that image to explain it to you.
That or I'm an idiot falling for this bait right now.

Assuming youre serious. That isn't ice. It's a pillar of salt.

i heard that you will die if you eat more than one nutmeg at one...
no joke

what the fuck

>All the pans are useless because they leave them in the dishwasher so the non stick Coating is now non-existent

I didn't get the memo. Is that really bad for them?

As far as I know the only bad things you can do to non-stick pans are get them too hot and use metal utensils in them

>hamburger rice
please explain