Any of you faggots actually cook?

>an hour
Spoken like a true mcpleb

This is surprisingly accurate.

>gf
>housewife

unless she has kids to take care of, she either has already cheated on you, or will get bored and inevitably do.

I cook professionally.

She's a hikikomori NEET

no you don't

>craft cheese
>not making the cheese yourself
>fucking disgusting

Romaine lettuce on a burger, do not want

I cook but whenever I post pictures here people rate them 4/10 or something so it's not that much fun.

Don't let 'em get to you. It's just part of the fun.
Food looks good btw.

thanks user, I know better than to take this site seriously, but it's still not that much fun to post a food I spend 2 hours on just so that someone posts >bruised tomato or whatever

Taking photos of food is hard. I have the best luck by using natural light.

> Put food near natural light source like a window
> Put camera into manual mode, save as RAW if possible
> Set ISO on camera to lowest setting
> Set f-stop to as wide as possible (my camera only goes down to 3.5 unfortunately)
> TURN OFF FLASH
> Set on tripod, aim at meal, zoom into meal at a slight angle (similar to how you would see the food when you're actually about to eat it)
> Tweak exposure time to make sure you get enough light without being blown out
> Import photo to lightroom and convert the RAW to JPG

I just come here to look at food when I'm hungry and shitpost about McDonald's

>Any of you faggots actually cook?
yes

just not often enough to post here nor do I feel like being a fucking mobile poster

Actually, I can't believe that 4/10 was the average rating. The potatoes look fantastic. The main dish is really kind of hard to rate because it's buried in a cream sauce, so it's hard to determine. But based on the quality of the potato wedges, my assumption would be that it would be flavorful with a good texture. I would rate 8/10.

You have to understand presentation is everything online, no one smells or tastes your food, if it looks bad people will tell it.

I tried making steak awww pwawv once, but I got confused with ingredients and cooking method for steak tartar sauce.

I ended up giving up and going to dennys.
3/5 cuz waitress didn't know what a salad fork was.

>steak tartar sauce
Retard.

...

kek

I do actually

i can cook, but i have no artistic vision or anything else required for plating so no posting pics

I put hot dogs in my boxed mac and cheese.

are you blind? obviously basil, not spinach

So you suck?

Meh nice potato's sloppy chicken bad presentation j give it a 4 out of 10

Not unless that slider is 2" in diameter.

Eurgh, niggers. Now I've totally lost my appetite.

I am the iron chef of tendies

>NEET

All the more reason to cheat. She has all the fucking time to do so.

You know, back when I was with my paranoid GF, I'd used to have an hour long break at work. You know what I did since I worked about 5 mins from 5 brothels in any direction? I cheated.

You know what I did when I called in sick and was allowed to stay at home? I called an escort or a side chick.

What is that pile of vomit on the left supposed to be?

My god, That looks rancid.

...

kek

Aherm... My apologies user but I'll have to agree with him, it's quite clearly spinach leaves and balsamic reduction.

It's fine, not everyone's a sex crazed lunatic with no regards for other people.

Try cooking something that doesn't look like shit when you're done

>wide as fuck f
why?
It's a close-up photo of a plate right? it's not like you need to blur out the background (that shouldn't be there). Or you want to have only that one single potato in focus and everything else gradually getting more and more blurry?
Like has blur on the far side of the plate which could be avoided by narrowing aperture a bit. Something from 10 to 20 should be used.
>convert RAW to JPG
Well if you're not gonna fuck with raw on a PC, why bother with raw?

the board is about:
-10% chefs either miserable applebees employees or one that work in a decent memestraunt
-15% buttfucking liberal hipster vegan trash that think soylent and kale is the pinnacle of food
-30% fast food gobbling flyovers and yokels that take cooking tips from Jack
- 20% alcoholics that have given up on life but hey, cooking is cool and the NEET life allows for fucking around in the kitchen
-25% complete shitposters that will automatically reply with something snarky or something about America

I like all aspects of the board, but can't stand jack or vegans. there's not really much to talk about with cook because most threads are basically "yum yum i like this" or "I think X is trash" with their babby teir taste.

There was a time when people would post cook-a-longs, and lots of pictures, but because the board and 4chin in general has increased in traffic so much, those get bumped off the board in about 6 hours, and they end up turning into a shit-flinging fiesta anyways.

There could be a sticky here to clean some stuff up, but that's probably never gonna happen, and cooking basically boils down to "go buy ingredients you like, get a pot and a knife, and start making something you want even if it requires a recipe"

If you pay yourself it doesn't count.

I cook for myself every day, it's cheaper that way.
Today I'm having grilled chicken breast, spinach and cheese stuffed mushrooms, and a side of eggy rice.

>There was a time when people would post cook-a-longs, and lots of pictures
The OC was the reason I started following Veeky Forums in the first place. It's almost non-existent these days, I agree with your assessment, board tourists thinking they are welcome because their fastfood threads get 400+ replies from other tourists.

There was an actual chef asking for critique on his dishes a while back. Brave man.

where are the college students living on their own for the first time? i swear they make up 80%.

>burger status: hammered
yo, who ordered the hockey puck?

There is a considerable portion of people who "can't cook" but it's like they don't even want to make an effort.

I guess a sticky would alleviate some of the stupid and basic questions like what your kitchen should have, how to prepare common ingredients and some basic recipes to get started, but anyone who asks "I have X dollars to buy Y at the store" and "how do i cook X" aren't even trying. Cooking isn't rocket science if you want to feed yourself.

Ironically, it's the more advanced techniques and shortcuts a chef learns over time that could really help out a college student, like preparing ingredients with limited equipment or some bizarre ingredients to begin with, but "how do i cook derp" threads are ripe for shitposting

also why are you cooking in college anyways you get drunk and go to the local burger or sub shop

No way, the fast food posters are the majority easily, then there is the "I'm college student/moved from home and can't cook" crowd that overlaps with the former group.
The second biggest group is probably just regular ass homecooks, minority of which will ever post pics of their food or their cooking. Then comes the professional chefs/alcoholics (again lot of overlap), the vegans, shitposters and the very small and rare group of those posters that are actually competent at making food, will help people and occasionally post what they have created.

Consider the following: you're just a cunt that psychologically projects on others in order to avoid feelings of guilt

>Set f-stop to as wide as possible

nobody says this btw
it's "shoot wide open"

t. /p/

>Salad leaves
Nigga, each leaf has a name. That's clearly spinach and rocket