Poached Eggs

Srsly, how can you Americans fuck tho up? Why do all poached eggs at America restaurants taste like vinegar?

Curry is your country's staple dish. That's how shitty english food is. Their main dish isn't even from their own country.

They come out perfect everytime. You just crack eggs into near boiling water.

>Shart education system

British food thread?

You know they have toilets in Walmart these days? There is literally no excuse.

As a Brit cooking for the first time in our national history, poached eggs are one of the last core methods I need to get down.
My trouble last time, when I put the egg into the water, the whites immediately separate and cooked on their own. Swirling the water seems to help, but still I end up with a pot of boiling water, a poached yolk and frothy cooked whites.

I've only tried a couple times so far (I'm a runny man) but have any ideas what my deficiency might be?

Make sure you put the egg into the CENTER of the swirling water. that's critically important. If you put the eggs in at the "side" then it's counterproductive.

Also make sure that you're not dropping the eggs in from a height. Gently slide them into the water from as close to the water's surface as possible. If they drop in then that will also make them come apart.

The water needs to be just barely simmering. If it's a full-on rolling boil then the bubbles will break the egg apart.

>breaky
kys
im not reading the rest of your fucking shit post

Sorry friend, but you might literally be retarded if you can fuck it up. Just simmer some fucking water and crack the eggs gently into the water.

Don't fucking touch anything till it sets up and then once they have set a bit gently move the water around a bit so they don't sit on the bottom and burn...

No swirl. No vinegar. No nothing.

Water.
Eggs.

Fuck. You people are idiots.

I just make onsen tamago. Is it really all that different from a poached egg? Though I guess it likely takes longer.

Onsen tamago are cooked in their shells, for a longer time, and at a lower temperature than poached eggs.

That's a helpful point :: I've been using boiling water, which probably also contributes to an unintentional higher drop-rate.

Programming is just writing a list of instructions bruh. But it's certainly helpful to know how to simplify logic structures and how long to boil the robot for. I tend to go for six-to-seven minutes for that thicky yolky exposed math.

Vermontfag here.

I poach eggs in maple syrup. Poach like normal, in barely simmering syrup. Serve on top of some nice bacon or ham and crusty toast. Top with some of the warm syrup. Then go skiing.

>how long to boil the robot for

I think I found the problem

Look. It's water and eggs and heat - 3 fucking ingredients that haven't changed in millenia.

How are you comparing this to fucking programming? You guys are all overthinking this shit!

>I poach eggs in maple syrup

Yet another reason America is 95% diabetic at this point. Enjoy skiing while you can - you're probably going to lose a foot soon.

Perhaps you're underthinking the problem.
Did you ever even consider the atmospheric pressure in your home?
You've just been lucky so far, who knows what egg evil you might have made without checking the mineral content of your water.
Let's not even get to the egg! You're measuring the weight of your yolk right??

Dipshits, just do it in the microwave. Takes like 20 seconds, less mess, better results. Tastes better in butter. Fucking idiots.

>breaky
I want to strangle you to death

See The egg white changes as the eggs age. That's why you should get the eggs as fresh as possible.

>Enjoy your fucking vinegar eggs
>Why do all poached eggs at America restaurants taste like vinegar?

I really have no idea what you're talking about. Every time I've had poached eggs they've been fine. They just taste like... eggs.

I completely don't understand what you fuckers are talking about.
When I look at Wikipedia I get this about poaching.

Poaching has traditionally been defined as the illegal capturing of wild animals, usually associated with land use rights.

Who you are poaching your eggs from you sick assholes?

According to Encyclopædia Britannica, poaching was performed by impoverished peasants for subsistence purposes and a supplement for meager diets.
Poaching was as well set against the hunting privileges of nobility and territorial rulers.
By contrast, stealing domestic animals (as in cattle raiding, for example) classifies as theft, not as poaching.
Since the 1980s, the term "poaching" has also referred to the illegal harvesting of wild plant species.
In agricultural terms,
the term 'poaching' is also applied to the loss of soils or grass sward by the damaging action of feet of livestock which can affect availability of productive land,
water pollution through increased runoff and welfare issues for cattle.

Real poached eggs are hunted illegally.

>Wikipedia
There's your problem.
Fucking millenials.

>taking that post seriously
kys

Why do you believe this is specifically an American problem? As far as I understood, vinegar was always as an extra precaution so the white wouldn't separate, there's no rule that says it has to be added or it'll fuck up. I've also never had poached eggs that tasted like vinegar, I feel like you had one bad experience at an American restaurant and generalize all of us. kys

Right, but I meant about the end result. Is the end result all that different from poached eggs?

Don't crack the egg directly into the pot. Crack it into a small dish first. In fresh eggs the white naturally sticks to the yolk a little. Then pour it in as close to the surface of the water as possible. Use a spoon to nudge the white around the yolk.

Made a bunch of poached eggs past weekend for some friends and it didnt make a huge difference whether I swirled the water or not, no vinegar either but after the first couple oopsies they came out nice.

I've lived here for decades and had vinegar tasting poached eggs dozens of times. How you yank mother fuckers came to think vinegar is part of the recipe is beyond me. You are the only people in the world that ruin this dish in this way, seemingly everytime.

>oopsies

We call them "whoopsie daisies" where I'm from.

Fucking Europoor swine.
They're called "Oh Noes!" in the 1st world.

>I've lived here for decades and had vinegar tasting poached eggs dozens of times.
then why the fuck do you keep eating them?

non of your business

I think you are either lying about how many times you ate them at restaurants, or you are bored and spoiled and deliberately go around looking for things to bitch about. ordering the same dish once or twice at maybe 3 different types/quality levels of establishments should be enough to tell you whether you like how they are made at restaurants in the area, or whether you should just stick to making them at home.

>Recipe
You mean cooking technique?
>Ruin this dish
A dish isnt a poached egg. A dish would consist of many items like something you probably know very well, the curry.

pls no bully

it's hard, fag

i live in america, dude
eggs are old

real nice post
literaldude
not kidding i liked it

Just use shallow water and be gentle with your eggs.

You don't need to swirl it, pour in vinegar, use plastic bags or any of that shit.

Just boil you water in a shallow pan our use a frying pan to boil the water in. Then put your eggs in gently, crack them into a bowl and then pour them into the pan rather than dropping them.

The shallow water and no forceful drop will prevent them from separating. It amazes me how many people have problems with poached eggs.

fucking ugly fat lard cat
gross

hey idiot, next time put some thought into it. add vinegar, stir the water quickly (without sending it over the sides) to create a nice whirlpool in the middle and then crack the egg in the middle. watch as the whites wrap around itself and makes a nice oval. dumbshit.

>stir the water quickly (without sending it over the sides) to create a nice whirlpool
what direction is better or doesn't matter
clockwise or counter clockwise

O B S E S S E D
B
S
E
S
S
E
D

JEALOUS
E
A
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U
S

It's way easier to just microwave them, and there's no taste difference

LIAR

i guess it depends on what hemisphere youre in.

I really hope some user will do the experiment
and do it both ways and posts the results.
I wonder if there will be difference, if raw eggs are sensitive to water spinning in wrong direction

I think you're imagining things.

it's possible, white vinegar is cheap

Don't talk to him like that!! >:(

tell him that he is ugly fat unhealthy looking rat

No shit, right? Its fucking simple but people gotta add vinegar and swirl the water and add plastic bags... All of which makes for bad poached eggs. Especially the fucking vinegar.

Eggs in water... How the fuck do amerifats mess this up???

I suppose that's true, but even the regional chain restaurant I work for doesn't have us do anything like that, and they hired me on as a cook with no experience. I'm having a hard time imagining how this is a thing when someone like me can come on and cook them using only heat, water, and eggs with no problem.

OK assholes I'm going to do the poached egg experiment,
and I'm half drunk because I'm doing another experiment to be shared later with you faggots,
experiment testing of three different brandies.

Actually assholes I'm doing third experiment (since yesterday) testing my new coffee making device) boards.Veeky Forums.org/ck/thread/8366678#bottom

So as you can see I'm very fucking busy
OK I"m going to make poached eggs

Fuck, one of the brandies I'm testing smells like it was made by distilling IVORY soap, fuck me.
It tastes OK and gives OK buzz but the fucking perfumed smell is irritating, FUCK ME GENTLY smells like cologne

OK I have two cartons of fresh free range eggs from never been fucked by a nasty dirty horny rooster chickens.
Pure and innocent.

Be back with the results making poached eggs according to this assholes instructions
>stir the water quickly (without sending it over the sides) to create a nice whirlpool in the middle and then crack the egg in the middle. watch as the whites wrap around itself and makes a nice oval. dumbshit.

But I'm not using vinegar, fuck this cheating trick.
I'm going to make one egg spinning the water clockwise and second egg counterclockwise.

I will report soon to you you massive faggots.

>stir the water quickly (without sending it over the sides) to create a nice whirlpool in the middle and then crack the egg in the middle. watch as the whites wrap around itself and makes a nice oval. dumbshit.

OK asshole, ASSHOLE. I mean ASSHOLE

I did open carton of Free fucking range organic never been fucked by horny rooster chickens eggs, and I tried your method by stirring the water,
and it doesn't fucking work, because water when it's boiling it has vertical movements, boiling water bubbles move from the bottom to the top and if you try to stir the water
(clockwise or counter clockwise makes no fucking difference you massive fagass)
water gets confused and when you put raw egg into it it gets shredded into pulp mass of egg whites and yolks, so I ended up just gently lowering the glass with raw egg into the boiling water and dumping the egg into it,
and it come up OK, nice and firm but that took me 10 eggs to master,
lucky I like to eat eggs.

And in mean time I was also testing the three brandies, the IVORY soap brandy actually lost it's perfume aroma after being exposed to the air for 10-15 minutes.

Might as well I go now and finish the last two egg in the carton poaching them to the perfection without stirring the freaking boiling water you massive faggot

Good that I bought today two cartons of those eggs so I have eggs for tomorrows' breakfast.

OK I'm poaching 2 more eggs and warming up some wild rice with lot's of butter and sprinkle of cinnamon plus touch of cocoanut sugar, and I'm still testing those 3 brandies
but no more coffee testing tonight

OK my overall reflections after eating 10 poached eggs tonight (and I just fucking remembered that I had 3 boiled eggs for breakfast today),
I never before did poached eggs I always eat boiled eggs or sometimes fried.
The advantage of poached eggs is (if you first crack them into a glass before dumping into the boiling water) is that you can see them if they are fresh.
By boiling them you don't know.
I never tasted terrible tasting boiled egg that was not fresh, but few times when frying eggs (from the same carton) I got one bad bit smelly egg (I always fry or boil eggs by 3),
so by poaching and first cracking them into the glass you have full visual control.

I might do more egg poaching from now on.
So thank you to that faggot OP who started this thread and provoked me to look into this "Secret Society Of Egg Poachers"

SSEP in short.

whats this poached egg meme
looks like if i cooked my egg in a pan with the cover on whats special about them

>whats this poached egg meme
it's an one eye monster

Boiling>frying health (and arguably taste) wise

>Boiling>frying health (and arguably taste) wise
>Trying to make sense (but failing) not wise

user please try again, you might be into something good but right now you making not mucho sense

OK, I said that I was testing coffee yesterday and today, and three different brandies (in total of the tree I drunk around whole of the 750ml bottle)
and freaking poached eggs (in mean time I was also as testing had 1/2 bottle by now of Jacob's Creek MOSCATO 2016, that bitch has only 7.7% alcohol) sweet low booze level drink good only for male bitches
but not for real brutal dudes, in my opinion it's nothing more than sweet cat piss.
Even straight women would not drink this sweet cat piss.

Anyhow, fuck this sweet cat piss juice,
I have bottle of Australian JACOB'S CREEK Double Barrel SHIRAZ 4th Vintage and I was not going to open it tonight
but since the night is young and I set the 3 brandies aside to continue tomorrow, I'm going to open this Ausie bitch to see if is any good.

Shiraz wines are funny, they could be complex and full of flavour and take you for a freaking ride, or boring and appalling like bag of nails.

Let's open this Australian bitch and taste it

Thank you, drunk egg-poaching user-kun. Your descriptions were the best.

I don't have time now to give you more details but this wine is pure ShirazShit flat and tasteless.
Don'\t buy it.

>breaky

I prefer scrambled eggs.

I poach eggs in plain water, simmering, nothing added then salt + pepper after cooking.

I find about and a half minutes gives me cooked egg white but a reasonably runny yoke.

Shallow pan like a frying pan and go gently. Good luck.

EGGSESSED

hey crew, just got up,
I had a wild night last night doing all this testing and egg poaching but this description makes me wonder OK, after I make me some caffeine I'm going back to continue testing those 3 brandies and will reveal what they are post pictures and my observations how they taste.

Maybe I will start new Brandy Thread, since this boards.Veeky Forums.org/ck/thread/8385339#top thread is no longer active.

And I'm going to poach few eggs for me
See you soon freaks

This user here , I just tried poaching one egg in my 6" cast iron pan but it didn't work as well as in my 5" wide and 3" deep pot.
Pan is not deep enough in my opinion.

As I said yesterday here I never poached eggs before just boiled them, but I'm liking poaching them so I think I will buy proper egg poaching device something like in the picture.

If any user is willing to share suggestion on good device please do so.

I am assuming most people here will tell you not to waste your money and just do it in water.

Thanks user,
I'm just actually reading reviews and some people are complaining about the fact that eggs can get stuck to the teflon insides, and I like to avoid teflon coatings.

I just found this ALL stainless steal unit but from all the great reviews one review is making me think twice about it,
(perhaps is just one case), I have to read more reviews on it.
I will post that review in a separate post .

As I posted before I eat eggs almost every day, and I boil them, but with poached eggs I can see for sure that they are fresh,
even tho I do buy fresh better quality eggs like free range organic that are not fed animals by-products, etc etc
so I don't mind spending money on a good poaching device but I like to make sure I will buy something that works good and is safe to use (as you will read that one review in my next post).

Here is that one star review I was talking about,
I need to read more to see if that happened to others

here is the picture of it ,

pretty sure this is the one ive had for like 15 years and always works perfect

amazon.com/HIC-Non-Stick-3-Egg-Poacher-Insert/dp/B001B18MJ8/ref=pd_sbs_79_7?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=9GBCZNPY973V93B5QWR9

you just use a fork to stick in the slot and lift the pan into a pot with small amount of water on the bottom and coever

You can always use those plastic or metal cups that you just put into the pan with water instead of enjoying the feel of shrapnel from a shit pan

Should of read this before I went in blind
youtu.be/5h-jgnjN91U

Thanks so much user for your tip,
that looks like very simple and EASY to use device,
and even is teflon coated I might seriously consider since I always eat 3 eggs.

Hahaha
This is quite funny

yes, you right user, I'm considering now that type of devices, like this one here or individual units

Thanks user

...

I got a blister from the water splashing. The grilled cheese was super tasty tho.

What surprises me that there is no response from the Customer Service under that review.
On many other product reviews there is usually a Customer Service rep reply when so critical review is posted, here is nothing.
Maybe Customer Service or the manufacturer was not aware of it, but I would assume that the poster would contact them and actually demand some
compensation for all the stress and cleaning that tinny sharp glass mess, maybe even lawyer was involved.
This is (was not) insignificant event, just imagine if you get that action in your kitchen.
FUCK !!!

I just poach my eggs in the microwave and they turn out perfect every single time. Heat water for 1 minute, pop an egg in, heat for another minute, or 45/50 seconds if you like it runnier.

O, I JUST RE-READ THAT REVIEW and that poster did send that crap glass mess to the manufacture to get the refund,
I WONDER IF THEY give some extra gifts or money to at least cover the cleaning time, imagine the time it would take to clean your kitchen from tinny glass shrapnel if it flew 10 feet in all directions.

...

Thanks user,
but I don't even own the microNUKE device, don't really like to use them and don't really have need for one, I have nice counter top oven and of course regular oven and lot's of cast iron pots and pans some black some enamelled. inside and outside

Here anons I like to share it with you, I found this very interesting method,

"Julia Child's Simple Trick for Perfect Poached Eggs Every Time".
thekitchn.com/julia-childs-simple-trick-for-perfect-poached-eggs-every-time-tips-from-the-kitchn-218202

I just did it and it really works really good, egg is like in the picture in the article, nice shape,
but I'm not going to use this method for this reason,
I ended up using two posts, one pot to boil the egg in it (I boiled the egg for total around of 15 seconds), and second pot to poach the egg in it.

Reason is that I don't like the idea of poaching the egg in the same water that I used to boil the egg in it's shell.
They use chemicals at the egg plants to wash clean disinfect them so poaching an egg in the same water I used to boil the egg is not that appealing to me.

But it is interesting method by poking the tinny hole in it and pre-boil

hahaha,
first of all I like to Thank the OP for making this thread, at first I was thinking that this thread is silly,
of course this line made me smile and lough >Fucking 240 years as a country and you still can't figure out how to poach an egg for breakfast. Enjoy your fucking vinegar eggs, freedom faggots.

I got introduced here to home making poached eggs (of course I had poached eggs before in restaurants) but I never poached them at home, I boiled or fried them.

One mistake I was making when practising I had the water boil very rapidly, and from other posters here I learned that the water should be just simmering >The water needs to be just barely simmering.
>The water needs to be just barely simmering.
Reason I was eating boiled eggs over fried is that I've heard a scientist explaining that when eggs are fried the high temperature
destroys some of the nutrients because of the heat and direct exposure to oxygen,
(I can not find that source right now),
And when eggs are boiled the shell protects those nutrients .

Sometimes I do like fried eggs for the different taste they have especially when fried with butter,
but poached eggs are more appealing to me now over boiled because I can examine visually and smell the egg to make sure that is fresh.

As I said it here , I did had bad egg from the same carton in the past, but only 2 or 3 times in the past two years and I do buy good quality eggs, but somehow it did happened,
so poaching them eliminates missing bad smelly egg if I crack them first into the glass before poaching.

So Thanks again to the OP and to all of you anons for sharing your ideas.

I'm still all day and evening today drinking/tasting those 3 brandies
and will probably make Brandy Thread tomorrow,
but I'm not sure if there is interest in it tho.

Cheers anons

Also, here is couple of very interesting articles and actually scary if you consume raw eggs,

4 Surprising Side Effects Of Egg White.
stylecraze.com/articles/surprising-side-effects-of-egg-white/#gref

10 Serious Side Effects Of Biotin On Your Health.
stylecraze.com/articles/serious-side-effects-of-biotin-on-your-health/