Fermentation

Hey, What is it?

>Are you talking about Kimchi?

Traditional Kimchi recipe

youtube.com/watch?v=eTucCw1w6Ak

My wife gave me one of these for christmas as well. Her son and I used it to make cole slaw

Why? This one is bigger!

Of course. What kind of woman do you think I am?!

I always keep a jar of pickled onion and garlic or fennel. Always makes sandwiches tastes better

excellent gift. can't wait to see pictures. never really thought of fermenting vegetables, except for maybe corn mash. i have kitchen hands as well. just use the guard and you won't ruin your food. heh. congratulations.

Well, the green one has a single adjustment for thickness which is easier to get food the same width all the way across. The "super" version has two adjustment screws and you can never really get them to be exact. Does the super version that you have also have two adjustment screws or a single screw? *note i'm not talking about the screws uses to remove the blades*

just go slow, that's the most dangerous piece of equipment in any kitchen (meat slicer aside), and there are a lot of people who don't like using them.

buy reverse osmosis/filtered water from the grocery store to ferment things and use 1 tablespoon of salt per quart of water in an airtight container and just leave it out someplace for a few weeks.

habaneros/jalapenos are really great fermented, same with cauliflower and turnips. carrots/potatoes/celery/fennel, it all turns out good.

touch your cooch before working with the vegetables

The kind with a penis

>her son
this will never not be funny

I gotcha, user.

That in no way prevents her (male) from sucking dick.

I'm italian and I can guarantee you that's not a mandolin

ALWAYS USE THE GUARDS AND GO SLOW
This here caused more injuries than anything else i've ever seen in the kitchen.

>Any tips/tricks/recipes to start me out?
Yes. JAPANESE CURRY

tits or gtfo

Go away, this is not /b/

"This one is BIGGER!" shrieks the materialistic retard.

no u

This 'materialistic retard' just loves cabbage a lot. Cabbage is a large crucifer.

Yeah.... Took off the tip of my pinky the first time using it. Never not using the guard again.

can't you use a tea towel instead of the guard?

A tea towel won't help much; the blade will cut right through it.

sorry, it wasn't a question. I mean I use a tea towel and I've had accidents and it won't cut through a folded tea towel.

Just because OP has a boyfriend, that doesn't mean he's female. Maybe he's just a fag, like most of us are.

>inb4 the homophobe spurgefest

>LMAO! DUDE, if you don't like sucking dick then you're a homophobe!

can this actually work though?

He never said that. Not wanting to suck dick doesn't make you a homephobe. Being pissed off that other people want to is what makes you a homophobe.

>>LMAO! DUDE, if you don't let guys suck your dick then you're a homophobe!

>be me
>on YouTube, looking through recommended
>LEARN HOW TO MAKE DISNEY'S RATATOUILLE!
>fuckin love patton oswalt
>watch video, looks simple enough?
>go to target and aquire mandolin
>bigscaryrazorblad.jpg
>doesn't afraid of anything so don't matter
>gonna save the ratatouille for new years surprise for gf
>just got new kitchenaid mixer for xmas so I wanna try my hand at making homemade pizza
>make the dough
>timefortoppings.webm
>start slicing mushrooms
>being too cautious and slow so mushrooms tear apart
>better pick up the speed
>start slicing perfectly sliced mushrooms
>aww yisss
>overconfidence.gov.ca
>GOTTA GO FAST
>many mushroom
>almost done
>FUCKIN SHIT CHRIST FUCK MOTHER FUCKER
>flayed half an inches of flesh of the side of my thumb
>blood everywhere
>gf runs in
>WHAT HAPPENE--
>sees me. sees blood. all over counter/vegitables
>passes out
>pizza ruined
>ghost of chef auguste gusteau appears, sees blood, dies at second time
>chef skinner calls health inspector, I fail. Loses apartment
>fat fuckin emile runs off with thumb chunk

Be careful

You're trying too hard.

Imagine OP taking your cock with her soft feminine hands and forcing it through a mandoline. hnng imagine the slices of your small cock falling onto a pile of carrots and courgette ready for a delicious ratatwoinch hnnngggg. OP please cut my cock on your mandoline whilst saying 'woops, forgot the guard' before realising my cock is only getting thicker at the thought of you and covering the entire mandolin blade meaning you don't need a fucking guard, well maybe a security guard to prevent me raping you hnggg.

Come on man. There's other ways to fit in.

...

TT is beautiful

The vagina secretes glycogen which helps host the perfect environment to cultivate LAB (Lactic Acid Bacteria). LAB is found everywhere, including on all vegetables. When you submerge veggies under a brine solution, you host the perfect environment for LAB cultivation as well.

It's why some girl's cooters are pleasant to go down on and some are not. A dope fresh cooter has the ideal production of glycogen and is therefore host to a balanced microflora. However, if that same cooter is adversely influenced by the outside world (such as improper diet, or being smashed by any and every dick), the cooter's pH gets unbalanced, thus disturbing the microflora and allowing harmful and uninviting bacteria to thrive.

I've started fermenting peppers to make hot sauce. Doing too batches now. One Serrano and one manzano peppers. Threads from here back in the fall got me into it. Turned out a few good bottles of hot sauce since then

I did my first fermented veg experiment with roughly chopped pepper and garlic. Was not good. Since then I just blend the veg with the salt solution. That's given me the best results so far.

what recipe do you use?

1 tablespoon of sea salt into 4 cups filtered/reverse osmosis water in an airtight jar at room temperature works perfectly every time.

that looks gross but the end result will be the same if you leave them whole and use a proper recipe. i'd absolutely recommen fermenting garlic/onions in with the peppers and using all of them in the finished hot sauce

Botulism.

Learn how to avoid it.

Follow FDA guidelines for canning and you should be fine.

I make my own sauerkraut, and it's the bomb.

buy a knife glove, only need one. really. just do it. That thing WILL get you. It is misleading to say it will cut you. It will take flesh from your body and you wont even feel it.
Play with fire carefully OP.

botulism thrives in an oxygen free environment.. lacto fermentation isn't oxygen free.. canning is basically the opposite of fermentation you homo.

smart advice desu.. no matter how careful you are, you WILL at the very least nick your thumb when you least expect it.

worst case scenario is you fully slide your thumb through the razor when doing thicker cuts, or if whatever you're slicing gets caught/rolls and your hand keeps moving forcefully into the blade.

mandolins are terrifying but also super efficient, so i suck it up and use it. a linen napkin is also definitely a fine substitute for the gay plastic guard you're supposed to use.

Says some anonymous faggot on a Fijian taco anime forum.

fuckin noob.

K I M C H I
H A N D G U A R D

i've had 3 of those fuckers over 10 yrs
i've never cut myself
use the guard like you're supposed to and be careful
its not brain science

lmao.

Is this the chef steps video?

youtube.com/watch?v=iCMGPRiDXQg

well well well, if it aint dr frasier cranesteinbergowitz. Astute assessment doctor, without your diagnoses I'm afraid this user would have forever remained in the dark.

is right about oxygen free environments. However people who do canning do put their cans into pressure cookers at a temperature of boiling to kill actually kill off botulism.

However there are obvious signs to botulism in the first place. I.e. outward dents in the can from the pressure botulism gas makes.

I have twice the salt content in my solution. Also I blended a half a medium yellow onion into each of those jars in my pic.

10/10 post

>Triggered user

>ITT: Virgin thinks he's funny

That's the one. He made it look so easy.

I got back on the horse, though, and made the dish. Turned out pretty fucking dank, tb100%h.

>pic related