What's is like being a math major?

Not as nice as being Clarence.

This thread is depressing. It seems a lot of mathematics students (at least those in the Veeky Forums community) find their knowledge to be superficial because of the seemingly bottomless sea of information still beneath them. While this is true, I don't think one ever reaches the bottom; every question you ask and every answer you find seem to push you a unit deeper and then force the bottom ten units deeper. The point I want to make is this: there is hardly ever a real sea floor. Most of mathematics is far too expressive for there to be an end. The mathematician is a traveler with no real destination. For our field, we must truly embrace the idea that the journey outweighs the conclusion (a vacuous truth), and that fulfillment comes only when we appreciate how deep we are, and not how much further we have to go. Setting concrete goals will help. If you want to reach a fixed depth, you can. Your goal cannot be to "know mathematics," as this goal is not attainable by our finite and simple human minds. You are all on remarkable journeys, so please keep in mind how miraculous it is that we are all mere apes that have managed to produce and understand parts of such a vast ocean. Good luck to you all!

(Pro tip: replace instances of 'mathematics" with whatever field you like, and the perspective still probably holds.)

For me, the biggest problem is that I have no standard to compare to, so I try to overcompensate by making completely idiotic ones and try to achieve those (i.e. being as smart as von Neumann, or some other retarded variant), and once I'm obviously unable to, I just get a deep feeling of worthlessness.

And if I have standards at all is because, even though I hate to admit it, I'm just here for the ego boost it brings me, since I have zero self-respect and self-worth and depend on others to give it to me (read the section on von Neumann's intelectual capacity and what people thought of him on his wiki page and you'll get a sense of what I crave).

But then, I see that people respect me and it feels completely empty and meaningless, because deep down I know I'm just not what I seem.

Saddest thing is, even if I managed to earn international acclaim, it wouldn't actually change anything, so I have no drive, no reason to do anything, and I just want to exist until I die instead of being a cancer of any kind of mathematical community who diverts resources and attention from more worthy people.

I'm sorry user, I hope you find a more centred motivation and mindset. I wish you the best of luck. You probably possess a lot of potential, but it's hard to see your own strengths when you compare yourself to a biological supercomputer.

>I just want to exist until I die instead of being a cancer of any kind of mathematical community who diverts resources and attention from more worthy people.
can second this feeling

i've been wanting to drop out and give my supervisor his research funding back since i haven't done anything useful in the entire last year

honestly, I picked pure mathematics because it was easy, I don't have essays or lab reports and I can spend most of my time jacking off on Veeky Forums or playing games, and when I do have to do actual work it really amounts to solving fun cute little riddles, which is amusing.

a constant downward spiral of depression and degradation of self-worth

mathematicians are genetically predisposed to an overbearing sense of expectation, both of themselves and others

this manifests as crippling guilt or depression, often both

when a mathematician can't solve a problem, their first thought is more often than not "i'm such an idiot, why can't i solve this problem" rather than "this is a hard problem"

t. recovering mathematician

be more specific

When is a good time to start on research/internships? After which coarse would I be able to be qualified enough (mathematically speaking that is) to start applying?

i did summer research projects after my 2nd and 3rd years of undergrad