Hey guys, 22 year old here. I'm in my final semester at uni and I fell for the STEM meme where either you study STEM or be homeless. The past 4 years have been tough, as the courses I have taken were very advanced and required a lot of brain juice to get through. One thing that has been keeping me down emotionally is my inability to have had a girlfriend or get laid during my entire life so far.
Girls seem to be interested in me as a friend, but I can never get further than being friends with a girl. I am a bit socially awkward and I think too much during conversations, so that may be a reason as to why Ive struggled. I've never experienced anything romantically with a girl.
My high school was a catholic school with male students only. For the prom, my mother set me up with a friend of her's daughter. It was pretty embarrassing, although we did end up having fun. I'll admit that I used to be a heavy porn user growing up.
Since I was 10 I've been watching all kinds of pornography on the internet. As of recently I have stopped, although I do relapse occasionally, although it is at most maybe once a week now, instead of every day like it used to be. I feel like I missed out greatly in college, due to myself being a commuter, and not being very active socially.
Most of the time I spend alone is on the computer. I want to change my life, and possibly start over, as I feel like time is running out for me. A lot of girls that I may like at this point in my life probably already have long term boyfriends, and most of them are already getting married. It is deeply troubling to me, and is the root of my depression lately.
The thought of being forever alone used to seem like a joke to me, but now I can feel it actually starting to seem very real. I like to say I am a good looking guy, clean face, very polite. But I don't know guys, I'm starting to lose hope in myself. I don't know if I'll ever make it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.