How do I go from knowing next to nothing about chemistry to becoming a chemistry genius without formal schooling?

study

Get cancer.

Worked for this guy

If you dont have the right tool box in your head for chem dont go into it. Otherwise as prosaic as it sounds, practice. Neuroplasticity is very real

>chemistry

Literally why would you do that to yourself

That hentaikey logo on the shirt

Only conclusion I can conjure up is that OP wants to be a pharmacist (why the fuck would anybody want to be one in the first place)

He was a chemistry genius before he got cancer you dingus.

khan academy. two thumbs up.

Pick up a textbook, do practice problems, consider online videos. Just get the basics down of the elements, stoichiometry, atomic trends, etc..

IB HL or AP textbook on chemistry (they are really good for an introduction) then study physical, organic and inorganic chemistry from Atkins' books and Clayden