Is there anyone else here like the guy in this pic? I know this is meta, but I'm in a similar boat and I'm feeling quite isolated. It's tough enough to make friends as an adult, and networking as a pseudo-NEET is even worse. Is there a place for people like us?
Veeky Forums NEET and pseudo-NEET networking and support
I’m having a kid, work an alright job but moved back to my parents and feel like shit all the time over being broke. I would love that NEET life right now.
In my case I've just got one foot in childhood and one in adulthood. It's like that movie 13 Going on 30, except I can't go back in time. I can't even imagine what it's like to have a kid on the way.
Do you have a degree?
>having a kid
>on Veeky Forums
don't you want a family user?
>train as beancounter
>doesn't make friends
Fucking beancounters have been the bane of my life, after doublefucking HR bints
"Ohhh!! We'd LOVE to buy your dept new kit with the squillions of denarii we'd made last month primarily on the back of the dropdead sexy software y'all wrote. But Oh dear! THERES NO BUDGET FOR IT"
Beancounters will be second against the wall when the revolution comes
Do you live on your own?
No, I live at home with some elderly relatives. It's getting to the point where our roles are reversing in some cases just because they're so old and need my help. In the past I was just a leech and the reality of my situation is hitting me that much more, seeing the people I used to treat like a safety net rely on me in many ways
Doesn't it exite you that you are on your way to become a patriarch of the family.
I don't think a manchild can be a patriarch
the kid will respect you if you're the sole caretaker. but things will go a bit haywire if he has different expectations or different caretaking styles from other people.
it's hard to get everyone on the same page in a multigenerational home. it's hard enough keeping woman and man on the same page, kids know this shit and exploit this to get their way.
the more you take care of him, the less chance there will be of him acting like a shit, but it's draining.
He can be: he becomes a man before and during that experience, not after
advice for I wish I knew how to become a man, I was talking about myself and not that person
There are many like you, like us. I worked for three years for my pops at his corner store - losing friends every other month or so for one reason or another, online friends who played Overwatch n shit would make zero effort to contact me and by the time I got off work, they were "done for the day", so I cut 'em off - those nights after work were lonely as fuck. Getting into a small /mu/ group on FB helped me make a bunch of URL friends - who I still keep as "friends" and interact with somewhat. Being lonely, esp. as someone with a financially-focused mindset, is pretty common. Remember, even people some super normies who have plenty of friends, might not get to actually hang out with them much because they work 80 hour weeks. It's becoming more and more common.
To give advice, despite being sort of similar to your position, is to get positive. Yeah, I know you prolly just rolled your eyes but serious shit - being positive and determined has helped me shake off the shackles of depression and suicidal thoughts way more than wallowing in my sorrow among my other depressed internet friends did. Being negative - especially seeking others with that negativity (so to speak, yes, depression and sadness are negative), is an absolute......what's the word, catalyst? It's a catalyst to get even deeper into a state of feeling miserable as fuck and super unmotivated. I say start watching motivational videos, reading self-help books, once you're financially able to - seeking a therapist and a psychiatrist is INCREDIBLY helpful. I unno, user, I just know what I did to make myself go from crying myself to sleep constantly to getting up a few hours earlier, getting a coffee, and being excited to take on the day. Best of luck, brother.
Being a man is ultimately equivalent with self sufficiency in all forms. You can financially support yourself, and you arent emotionally dependent on others.
Being a man means people can build themselves up and grow in your presence, rather than you having to leech off of someone else.
I dont know how old you are man, 25, 30, 35, even 40....and the truth is it doesnt really matter.
Some day your relatives will die. Maybe that will be in 30 years....maybe in 5....no one knows. But when that time comes you will be left to drown.
My advice is to slowly start making changes in your life. Dont overwhelm yourself and dont try to do everything too fast because you will get discouraged.
If you take it bit by bit, day by day, a year of change is massive.
If you are out of shape, maybe focus on losing weight, cutting out junk. You can easily lose 5-10 pounds in a month.
Maybe you are super depressed. Now theres definitely a cognitive and behavioral component to this, but theres some physiological things you can change, like maybe get your vitamin D levels checked, eat more greens, etc.
Brainstorm what you'd need in order to be "self sufficient" and then build up a plan on how you could realistically obtain those things within a couple years time.
Its not the easiest thing man, and I know the neet lifestyle is insanely comfy. But no one will be around to support you forever. At some point you have to take over the reigns. You dont have to become an ambitious CEO who spends all of his time working, but the minimal amount(living on own, paying own bills) is a good endeavour
oh this is also a good one - where user talks about how being a NEET won't help - can attest to that shit 1000 fold. Nothing makes me more disappointed NOW then reflecting on my years of being content with reveling the in comfort that is non-responsibility - it's a habit that sustains itself and props up other negative habits.
Also forgot to say - I'd say to also vastly cut down on weed if you smoke a lot; fuckin hell, if there's one thing that normie fucks aren't willing to just admit, it's that unbridled weed usage will fuck you up -YES IT WILL
Thanks for the encouragement. You're right, it's definitely a matter of perspective and mindset in a lot of ways. I'll work on that.
>my years of being content with reveling the in comfort that is non-responsibility
you hit the nail on the head with this, 100%
>Maybe you are super depressed. Now theres definitely a cognitive and behavioral component to this, but theres some physiological things you can change, like maybe get your vitamin D levels checked, eat more greens, etc.
>Brainstorm what you'd need in order to be "self sufficient" and then build up a plan on how you could realistically obtain those things within a couple years time.
Right now I actually have some money in crypto. Not much—it'd be mid 5 figures after taxes. So I can afford to live on my own a bit, just not in a stable manner, and I'd rather keep the money in crypto and see it become something more life changing than just a year's worth of expenses or whatever.
So I have options ahead of me and what you're saying is absolutely true and helpful and I appreciate it. I'm just trapped between all of these obligations, impending life deadlines that I didn't even know existed or didn't think about, and so on...
Love you brother - hope things look up, hope you figure it out. Farwell
I'm diagnosed with aspergers. Luckily I am fairly good looking and well-spoken so I was able to get a shitty job selling cars I'm actually kind of good at. I hate it though and have to work a lot. I'm probably going to an hero when my parents pass, I don't want them to outlive me though. Until then it isn't so bad I guess as long as I avoid things that remind me of how lonely I am or of the things I've failed to accomplish. Also learning html/css/c for fun might be able to make some dosh with that and avoid working so much. Semi-neet because I live with my dad and have 2 friends. No GF. I can't even make friends online. I doubt I would be able to live on my own.
If you are 100% certain of that then grow as much as you possibly can.
Not everyone is going to be capable of living a normal life. Perhaps you feel guilty over that, perhaps not.
But the truth is that even if you cannot ever live on your own, you can still grow in many possible ways.
You shouldnt excuse yourself from becomming the best possible version of yourself just because you cant max out in 1 area of life(living by self)
I hope that makes sense to you
Thanks for the well-wishes and I agree, I have made a lot of progress over the years. After I dropped out of college I was a full on neet. My dad would always yell at me though so I've been working full time for 6 years. I actually make pretty good money but I have to work 6 days a week, late nights too. Just doesn't seem worth it to do so much work for what? I'll never have a relationship, I don't have any hobbies that make my life worth living. All I really have is my cat and my parents. They won't be around forever though, and after that, I don't know what I could do.
Just one last thing user...
One time 5 years ago I was walking alone and I saw this very old man and he had about him an aura I've never seen in another person, he just radiated positivity. Against my introvert nature I stopped him and asked
"Excuse me sir, I know this may be a rather strange question, but you just seem exceptionally positive. What is your secret?"
He seemed very pleased that someone stopped him and decided to talk to him. He took a few moments to think about it before answering
"The secret is, that you should never think that its 'too late' to do something. Some people marry at 20 and are miserable, some people find true love in their 80s. The mindset you cultivate when you think you have missed out or its too late is toxic"
I said "thank you, i will try to keep this in mind", and he smiled and was off.
It was a chance meeting of 2 strangers that didnt even have to occur. Perhaps this is what we have here between you and me, a chance meeting of 2 strangers, who will interact once and then never again. I hope this advice has the profound impact on you that it had on me.
that's great advice but your narrative seems totally fabricated, did you really do that? lmao
I added details to make it more amusing, but its mostly true.
I wish you luck user. The only way to fail is to not have a plan, or to not stick to the plan you have.
Thanks, will do my best
My biggest flaw I guess has just been 'forgetting' and losing perspective, forgetting that I've decided to march on and stick with things
I've been a flake my entire life, time to fix that
Join the army, it forces people to spend 24/7 around you and might make you less of a beta.
people normally don't join in their late 20's do they?
I'm also a pretty short guy, not really army material probably
Same age and same situation as this guy minus work
I would kill myself but it would destroy my family. I don't want that because I feel like I've been a burden all my life and that would just be adding more to the pile. It really hit me that suicide wasn't an option when I called my dad and he said he was really worried about me. All I can do is keep trying for my parents but I hate my life and I would rather not have to wake up tomorrow or ever again
where are you from?
Same thing here, my dad an hero'd so I understand firsthand what the impact of that is like on family/network etc. It's definitely not an option, but boy would it be nice.
>falling for the school meme
Oh my sweet summer child you have no chance in this dog eat dog world
I joined at 25 after realizing I was on the path to retail4life, it's definitely older than average but not the oldest and I didn't feel terribly out of place. You learn a lot about yourself and what you're really like.
I didn't really join due to loneliness originally, but the level of friendship you get out of it is a whole different thing from normal coworker social interaction and that's been a massive plus for me. It's kinda fucked but on a certain level it's more comfy getting yelled at in a hole in the rain with your comrades than living a comfy life while socially isolated.
I wouldn't say it's for me long term, and I intend to go back to school, but it's definitely given me drive and confidence and a better understanding of who I am as a person.
Other user is right about not letting yourself get too wrapped up in being too old for shit. Don't be an idiot but at the same time don't let life pass you by. I'll be in my early 30s by the time I get out of school and into the market for what I actually want to do, but what was the alternative? Work at the hardware store forever in hopes of making assistant manager one day?
25 and beyond stuck in my career. Ultra-competitive, so seeing my dumbest friends in college buy houses/go to Thailand/score high-paying jobs murders me inside.
I'm a numbers guy, why in the FUCK did I finish as a marketing major? Qualified to major in quantitative finance, but I picked marketing. Fuck my fucking face. Quant finance friends are making 80k out the gate.
Was it the hot chicks? Laziness? The desire to develop soft skills that I so desperately lack? Wanting to learn how to build a product from scratch? Idfk but just burn me now senpai.
Four years marketing internship experience, one year marketing full-time at a company you've definitely heard of, started my own company, and currently stuck in the job market for MONTHS.
>yeah, that's your fault user you fucking faggot
That's the worst part, I fucking know. It's my fault. I'm not cut out for marketing. I deliver fucking results, but I'm weird. My resume gets me in the door, my personality kicks me out. Not even all the phenibut in the world can save me.
Starting to get physically sick from the amount of failure I'm causing in my life. The amount of failed job interviews for career-making jobs. Don't even get me started on crypto. Just tryna think of a way that I can work for myself.
Don't give up man, seriously. You're gonna get hired soon, keep trying. Keep going. It's going to happen.
I'd rather not say but it's a 3rd world country so life for me is shittier than the average 1st world person's life. I'm reaching the point where I'm questioning if it even makes sense for me to get a degree because it'll just be from a shit tier university in a shit tier country.
How did you handle your dad's death? My dad single handedly keeps me going because he's the only one who understands me so if I lost him I probably wouldn't be around much longer. I don't hate my mom but without my dad to keep her in check my life would be even worse.
thanks for the advice, at 28 I dunno about the military though desu, but I agree that it might give me something that I'm sorely lacking
I am in a semi-similar spot but sorting things out. I'm 26 and still working on my degree. Finishing up my last classes at community college rn. Applied to transfer to universities for next fall, trying to get into UC Berkeley primarily.
I am finishing up a 9-month long internship content and marketing internship with a pretty well-known website. I was offered a freelancing contract, but until I get the details it seems it'll pay less than my actual internship. so meh.
I did have a phone interview today with the Oakland A's for a summer internship. not sure I'll get it, but cool to be in the conversation. I think it went well.
it is shitty to be this old and still chasing internships and barely making 2K a month. I also have friends making way more money and having better careers. But in comparison to where I was years ago, it's still a huge improvement. It helps to focus on your progress rather than what you don't have. easier said than done, I know.
dude it's been about 3 years now and it just gets tougher. if he had passed normally, i think i'd be less sad, but the whole suicide aspect really fucks with you.
he was your average badass dad, successful entrepreneur (retired at 40), funny dude, craft beer, all that shit. nobody saw it coming. his only message to me in his note was "don't do drugs or alcohol". it made no sense. he was my nigga, and all of a sudden he was gone... nobody knew he was morbidly depressed.
on the plus side, it's made me face a lot of tough realities, but i'm more of a man because of it. i was an enormous faggot before he passed, and his passing really brought down my ego and humbled me. i really prefer who i am now compared to who i was before he passed. you take nothing for granted anymore. you travel, explore, take risks, do crazy shit, idk you almost feel more free in a way.
also, your mom doesn't really have a say in your life once your dad is gone, so you can really become the man you want to be.
>Also forgot to say - I'd say to also vastly cut down on weed if you smoke a lot; fuckin hell, if there's one thing that normie fucks aren't willing to just admit, it's that unbridled weed usage will fuck you up -YES IT WILL