Al/ck/ Thread

That's cool dude, I've reduced my daily alcohol intake from 18 beers to a mere 16 beers a day

...

Got really drunk last night and almost kind of had a black pill moment. Snapped out of it today though.

not great, trying to force down enough milwaukee's best ice to make it till i fall asleep.
i never believed it was a disease, thought it was memes
it's true though
how can i keep doing this to myself when i know what will happen

What's your regular intake? Day to day? And for how long?
I'll be able to tell you definitively if you can stop more easily.

Just coming off a 2 day binge, finished my whiskey this morning. Didnt drink for about 4 days and i noticed the bloating going away and ive been hitting the gym hard so its helping. But hard to not want to drink.

Weekend here and debating on what to grab drinking this weekend, Rum or vodka.

Not sure if I qualify as an al/ck/ since I really only drink friday/saturday work and workout the rest of the week. Only time I drink more than 2 days a week is if my coworkers pester me about grabbing a round after work

i've stopped before, it just takes about three days of me lying on my recliner and feeling like shit
usually about ten 5.9's a day, thirty a day at my worstest
for ten years

I was hoping you wouldn't be so much like me. I've been drinking heavily for 9 years and went to detox for liquor last year. Did AA multiple times a week for six weeks but I stopped and drink about a bottle of wine a day if it's not the equivalent of beer. I've never been sober for more than a month straight in 9 years though. You have my best wishes.

yeah i've been to rehab and tons of aa. they don't help, you have to want to quit for yourself

I agree. It made me realize that I'm really the only one who can make any difference.

I'd bet anything you have addiction running in your family like I do. It's genetic to a certain extent and once you get hooked it's game over. Just be glad it's just alcohol and not something more serious, I lost a cousin to opiates a few years ago. He had been homeless for half a decade panhandling. and doing heroin

Who weekend binger here?

>get handle on friday
>drink till sunday

My New Year's resolution was to quit drinking and I've been able to resist so far.

New Year's 2012

I'm not an alcoholic but I had to go to a shrink for alcoholism because I crashed my car driving drunk and assaulted a police officer.

>assaulted a police officer

You probably have some kind of personality or behavioral disorder. Not even in my most fucked up state of mind would I consider assaulting a cop

I didn't actually assault a cop. I assaulted a random person trying to help me after I crashed. At first they were going to charge me with assaulting a police officer but they dropped it to simple assault.

>assault random person
>they want to charge you with assulting a cop

uhhhhhh

Heroin is far less damaging to the body than alcohol. As long as you don't overdose.

Not counting the small glass of champagne I had with my family on New Years, I havn't had a drink, or even a real urge to drink, since the first week of November.

I came down with a bad cold that week, and made a point to spend every waking moment perfectly medicated with robitussin. Then when I felt better enough to stop.. it was like magic, I just didn't want to drink at all, I actually forgot all about it for over a week before I even noticed.

And now, every time I even think about drinking (and after I went to bed on New Years), I end up having some horrible dream about getting wasted and blacking out, crashing my car, getting arrested, embarrassing myself.. and then I wake up feeling so fucking happy that It was just a dream, and that feeling lasts me for a week or more. Plus I've lost a ton of weight.

I hope this lasts forever.

Physically maybe, but socially and mentally? I'm not so sure. Heroin withdrawals seem a lot more unpleasant than any alcohol withdrawals I've ever experienced, save for the immediate danger.

Please someone convince me not to go buy booze. I only have to last like an hour and a half before I'm not able to go get any for the rest of the night and I'll be fine.

anyone else trying to cut back but not quit? monday i had half a liter of gin and 4 pints of 9% DIPA, tuesday I had 4 beers becuase i finally got tired of waking up every day drunk from the night before, yesterday i had two pints and one 12 oz beer, today im going to keep it down to two pints of DIPA, tomorrow i might try just one pint. really I just want to stop drinking every day and keep it to the weekends, Ive been drinking until im blackout literally every day and it just started to effect my personal life too much.

im in the exact same boat lol. im seriously about to crack and drive over fuuuck

Looks like times a' wasting then, faggot. Better get to it.

Fuck man, I feel you. It's so goddamn hard to resist, I fucking hate it.

It's my birthday today. I'm 27. Drinking a 12 pack tonight. Alone.

hey, you dont have to get drunk man, and if youre lonely Ill talk to you.

do it. imagine the rush from those first few sips. pure oblivion.

just put my shoes on thanks man!!

Man, but I'm moving soon and I don't have a job right now. I need to be saving money.

Just fuck my ass.

night 3 with no booze. i really want a drink right now.

I keep telling myself "just a half pint. Its still progress".

Alcoholism is a meme

I wish it was just a meme. I want off this ride.

Someone had a good lawyer or overwhelmed court system. Either that or the arresting officer took pity on you.

How the fuck did you plea that down?

I hope it lasts forever for you too dude.

Just lucky I guess.

In these situations, you're pretty much guaranteed to drive out and buy it. Sorry guys, it's just true.

literally the worst type of person
fuck anyone who would hit or even push another person

>just fuck my ass
What the fuck dude are you gay?

I can guarantee you your whole life is a meme and you aren't even a person.

I'm really sorry man. I learned my lesson. This is probably going to ruin my life.

Do the words blackout drunk mean anything in your vocabulary? It's like the train keeps driving but there's no conductor.

I passed out in my brother's truck after a gig, no intention on ever driving drunk, but he turned it on to heat it up in the winter, and knocked on the window to see if I was alright. In my inebriated state, and having drove that truck tons before, I must've thought, "Hey, they want me to move the truck." A totaled truck and two lamp posts later, I got a nice DUI. Fell asleep after leaving the bar in the passenger seat, woke up handcuffed to a bench.

Thank God I didn't hurt anyone.

He's an idiot but you're a pussy, and being a pussy is only slightly less worse. Fuckin baby dude.

S-shutup

No but I gave in and bought booze.

Goddamnit. RIP wallet.

This thread isn't for you

You sound like an aa faggot

I was charged with felony b&e and larceny, got b&e dropped and larceny dropped to misdemeanor trespassing. (I was caught on camera)

No lawyer because I'm not a fucking mongoloid. The system is easy to beat if you have a brain and your skin is white.

Addiction is defined as the moment a dependency begins to have a negative impact on your life. Just because I'm addicted to one beer a day doesn't reduce the legitimacy of my addiction or the pain I endure on an almost daily basis. Show some respect, faggot

if a beer a day causes you pain it greatly reduces the legitimacy of you as a person.

Drink yourself to death, please.

lmao

Ok, you retards, just started on my second bottle of bourbon, but that is fine, because I have fucking friday off. Have fun shoving Dildos up your asses and playing pokemon, :)

There are better boards for your tactics, guy

Drink yourself to death, please.

Went yesterday and today sober until I snapped and bought more everclear. Sucks too, sin this morning when I woke up was the best I felt in weeks. I did wake up in the middle of night for 20 minutes however and had a weird as fuck dream about mass riots in the city I just visited.. Almost nightmare.

Currently trying to limit myself to a fifth per week. Everything I see, read, hear, and do is completely uninteresting to me. The thought of going completely dry is unimaginable.

Edgelord, did your mom fuck your gym teacher on a dare for a bottle of 3,99 Rosé or something ? Crawl back back into her womb, you fucking dissapointing mess.

>Currently trying to limit myself to a fifth per week.
you sound like me when i was drinking a 5th per week

fuck man, I can relate with black out drunk, luckily haven't totalled one yet. And no shit, I don't drive drunk, I rather walk two km (whatever that is in miles) to the nearest booze store and contemplate my life whilst doing so, but I can relate to your situation..Not fun, not good, mostly.

So you're not american AND you're underage. Good luck.

I don't drink to oblivion anymore, and I also don't drink alone. But I drink a lot, and often.
I'm 6'0", 185-190lbs, and I used to drink alone, and I used to drink until I was absolutely demolished beyond repair.
I've started going out on most nights, fully replacing the drinking alone. Somewhere around 5-10 drinks a night, not every night but probably 3-4 nights a week.
Every night I go out, I come home somewhere between tipsy and solidly-drunk, never wasted, never hammered. And while I'll sometimes eat a lot of shitty late-night food (snacks at home, or taco bell because it's cheap) I never drink any more once I get back, and I'm almost never noticeably drunk by the time I get to sleep.
All this looks on paper like I'm not too bad, but I do feel a little weird about how much I drink and how badly I look for any excuse to go out and do so. I'm 22, I've had darker days with alcohol than this, but knowing that life is long, alcohol is addictive, and so many horror-stories have first acts that sound just like mine is worrying.

I'm trying. Sorry for the blog post. I just needed it out, somewhere.

>past 2 days consume kratom in order to not drink
>end up drinking anyways

I'm drinking much less at least, had half a fifth of vodka and a 375ml bottle of soju so far out of yesterday and today.

Sleep schedule is fucked right now and I'm going to just take some klonopin sometime this weekend to fix it. Classes start Monday and I'm the sole TA for an upper level research class.

both "3-4 nights a week" and "5-10 drinks a night" are understatements for the sake of my shame, if I'm being honest.

Well what's the rest of your life like?
Social life? Career? School? Exercise? Hobbies? Your drinking habits are not uncommon for men of your age, but social isolation, dead-end prospects etc... would likely lead to problems later on.

what are your priorities

I am pretty socially-isolated. I have friends but they're all in different places.
My main socialization comes from tinder and, interestingly, stand-up-comedy open mics. Which sounds fun, but they're mostly bleak affairs, they're my excuse to go out and drink (between "it's around people, I'm not drinking alone!" and the social anxiety of it all) but I rarely if ever interact with people outside of my time onstage, even when properly liquored up.
And I have a decently-paying-but-dead-end-job. With no concrete plans for the future to speak of.

I guess this isn't the most relevant to the thread.

>I guess this isn't the most relevant to the thread.

That's fine, social isolation is one of the best predictors of addiction. You may want to find something more than your job you want to work towards, or at least a hobby you want to pursue? (Stand up comedy?)

Working towards a PhD in neuroscience but been socially isolated for years now (outside of work, most of my friends live elsewhere) and while I'm not using hard drugs anymore and good at my work (and enjoy it), all I see in the future is suicide.

The point of that blog was, don't be like me. Find something to work towards before you're an addict as opposed to afterwards. Have a healthy social and sex life. I don't even bother to go on dates anymore. I even managed to stay clean of everything for four years once. My life didn't improve at all. Now I'm back in the balancing act of going in and out of sobriety. The only women I ever truly loved were addicts and now I can't really spend time around an addict and I can't really spend time around women who have never been an addict.

My old therapist told me it'd get better as I got older as I'd meet more people who were former addicts. While it's true that I've met more people who were former addicts, none of them really ended up moving forward in life like I have. I'm surrounded by colleagues who have had normal healthy lives and continue to do so. I don't really understand them--and I study behavior.

Funny enough I mostly do alcohol reward and dependence research right now.

what state bruh? im doing CS to hopefully move into bioinformatics

Oregon.

I should've gone into some sort of computational biology. I was always above average at CS and programming but hated it because my dad would take away my books as a child to force me to learn to program/study CS.

I could've been a happy, socially healthy russian lit humanitiesfag.

I appreciate the listening and the input. My hope is to ingratiate myself to fellow comics. Technically I've been doing it for several years at this point, but only just now being in a "major scene" (Chicago) and having a hard time making friends even in the Small Pond I came from beforehand, can be disheartening.
Sorry to hear about that stymied romantic life of yours. I tell myself I do alright (and if birds in the bush counted as much as one in the hand, I'd probably actually BE doing alright) but I'm never satisfied with that success, and worried that what success I do have will be short-lived. Doesn't help that my hairline's expiration is probably already past-due. And at any rate, transient flings off of tinder only go so far.

i feel you on the colleague issue. Im in CA

I don't hang out with anyone I am academically related to in any way. Thank god I have a local music scene to keep me occupied.

what would make you happy?

As a humanities major, trust me, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Job insecurity and the stereotype of working at a coffee shop plagues me with every introduction to a stranger I come across. Just do what makes you happy, or what makes you rich. Either way, one or the other will catch up to you.

>and having a hard time making friends even in the Small Pond I came from beforehand, can be disheartening.

I understand that and have no real advice as to how to improve that situation.

>Doesn't help that my hairline's expiration is probably already past-due.

Well if you want to castrate yourself that would probably save your hairline. All my sex hormone research as been with female sex hormones though, so I'm just working off a joke my undergrad PI made.

>what would make you happy?
A healthy social and/or romantic life would probably be a start, but I work 60-80 hours a week, and with my drug use on top of it, I won't really have a chance at that until I have a tenure-track position. Maybe a post-doc. Most of the labs that do similar work to mine are in other countries, so I could maybe get a fresh start there. I'd be scared to post-doc elsewhere though as drug access would not be the same.

What I meant to imply was that if I didn't have an alcoholic piece of shit father I probably would've been happy studying the humanities instead of chasing my own tail trying to understand the mechanisms of my own behavior.

I started working 70-80 hours a week so I don't have time to get drunk.

On the other hand I might commit sudoku before the liver damage could have killed me...

>I'd be scared to post-doc elsewhere though as drug access would not be the same.
I just assumed you were a drinker

whats your drug of choice?
It never hurts to quit, or so I tell myself

Ah, I also meant to add that since I do animal research and work on the animals circadian rhythm and schedule, it's hard for me to have a normal social life or sleep schedule. Sometimes I'm doing labwork until 2 am, and sometimes I get up at 4 am to do labwork.

I'm too burnt out to socialize. I'm pretty sure there are several women in my department who are attracted to me as I'm the only physically fit male around (and my subfield of neuroscience is female-dominated), but I'm never motivated to talk. Usually because I'm hungover.

I'm also my PI's golden boy so I can't reject any of his requests.

These days I primarily use alcohol, benzos, kratom, ritalin and amphetamine. Heroin and ketamine were my drugs of choice back in the day.

he's probably joking about propecia
as far as I understand it, it isn't necessarily detrimental to the sexual health, but the risk is nonzero, and the effects can be permanent, as well as I hear that taking it in the first place causes a lot of hair loss before the hair regrows fuller, meaning going on it and then going off it is ultimately more damaging than not taking it at all (though, best-case, staying on it works indefinitely)

so between costs, the idea of permanent damage (to both the hair, and to the libido/sexual function, which is literally the reason I'd want it in the first place, and central to my identity) I haven't messed with it

honestly, I am amazed that you have kept this habit up while being so busy.

I went to rehab initially before finishing my bs then worked-started on the alc, and here I am doing CS while still drinking. My schedule is obviously more flexible

I can't tell you what to do or what would make you happy. You seem competent enough to be able to figure it out. You also probably know that there are plenty of abusers that are able to lead a healthy life. so then

whats holding you back from chasing that happiness? Im not talking about work-related restrictions. we both know those can be overcome

>honestly, I am amazed that you have kept this habit up while being so busy.
If I'm good at anything, it's getting my work done and doing it well while high on something.

>whats holding you back from chasing that happiness?
Honest answer is that I'm not convinced it would result in me being any less unhappy than I am now. As a result, I'm not motivated to work towards it. All I ever do outside of work is exercise, drugs and shitpost. Once a month or so I go out to dinner with an old friend of mine who is somewhat nearby.

Been meaning to make a tinder. I should do that before Monday when things will get busy again.

Had to look up that drug. Maybe it was that. He was always into new, interesting prescriptions to try out.

I know this sounds so preachy and ambiguous but the best we can do is pursue what we think will help.
that is literally life

also its 3am
i have to do a class early tmwr

hope I see you in these threads again

Sleep well. I lurk somewhat regularly.

I just want the life of one of my rats. Exposed to alcohol once weaned for a few months until they're chronic stable drinkers, then do my experiment and euthanize them.

>what we think will help
It's very difficult for me to convince myself that pursuing something will help. Rats who are socially isolated in development (I was) or have low maternal licking and grooming (I pretty much was as my mother wasn't around much then) show enhanced LTP in the various subregions of the hippocampus response to aversive/stressful stimuli.

No matter what I do I'll always retain the negative events/stimuli in life better than the positive ones.

Doesn't help that voluntary lifetime ethanol consumption predicts sensitivity to k-opioid agonists in rhesus macaques. In other words, the more alcohol you drink in life the more of a biological effect aversive events have.

I probably should've just studied something like ingestive behavior or locomotor function instead of reward.

I only drink heavily on the weekend now. One or two bottles of bourbon over friday/saturday. I haven't craved alcohol during the week for maybe two months. I'll have a couple of beers here and there during the week, but haven't got drunk.

>something ?
No space before the interrogation mark in English.

>work on the animals circadian rhythm and schedule
>Have own circadian rhythm and schedule fucked by work
The irony. Sad irony.

>k-opioid agonists
Ever tried Salvia?

Addiction is a slippery slope with no winners. I don't know why you keep trying to glamorize it. I haven't been able to honestly go a day in over a year now without drinking 1 beer. That is more than 365 beers the last year alone. The quality of my sleep has suffered. My diet has suffered. I think my testosterone levels have been dropped. It's not a race buddy, we are all in this together, 1 beer a night or 10 beers a night, we fight as a team for our sobriety.