PERSONAL BLOG

>cooking dinner for GF tonight
>nice porterhouse cut, some chicken kebabs, and a feta and cherry tomato salad, wedges basic stuff
>never seen her eat a full steak so pretty excited to cook one for her
>I'm very good at steak though
>prepare the cuts with rosemary, pepper, onion glaze
>prepare dressing for salad - start heating a salt rock on the bbq for the steak (takes half an hour)
>cook everything myself, alternating between the oven, the salad and the BBQ outside
>finally everything is done (steak is a perfect medium rare and smells divine)
>ask GF to help set the outside table
>she gets pissy because she is watching some SUPER IMPORTANT vine compilation of some fat bitch who screeches retard noises
>Fine, I'll do everything myself
>hesitates for ages
>get into an argument since setting the table while I'm dishing up is a super simple fucking thing to do
>she gets pissy
>after much aggravation everything is served up on plates
>she starts to eat, hesitates, goes inside and comes outside with a bottle of ketchup
>figure its for the potato wedges, fair enough
>she INSTANTLY covers the steak in ketchup, like a fucking LAKE OF KETCHUP
>I'm just completely aghast
>she hadn't even tried to taste it first
>it was a fucking great steak
>perfect, even
>she wolfs down the salad like an infant
>I say 'what the fuck, you have just spoiled everything'
>She says 'fuck this' and goes inside with her food and slams the door

Should I feel insulted? I feel like she was massively in the wrong, rude, uncooperative and disrespectful.

For context she sometimes cooks pasta. I do the lions share of the cooking most of the time and its usually more complex/expensive stuff.

What do you think?

Dump her you idiot. I mean jesus Christ. That's an insta-dump.

Fucking dump her. Now. Send the text.

Seems a little bit harsh

I haven't spoken to her since, it's been maybe half an hour

If the sex game is not full of filthy shit like anal and rimming, dump her ass.

>she INSTANTLY covers the steak in ketchup, like a fucking LAKE OF KETCHUP
>what the fuck, you have just spoiled everything

She sounds like a piece of shit

Do you have no self respect or something? Stop being a fucking beta.

word. She got shit taste anyway.

As long as this is a blog post thread, let me give you some personal insight on the matter OP.

I've been with my wife for 10 years now. We met in high school, and I got her pregnant.
She is and always has been a lazy person and a shit cook. I wouldn't even mind eating shit food if she at least made it on time. But she rarely did.

We'd get into screaming arguments constantly about how lazy and worthless she was. I felt like an asshole for it, but goddamn she was a real piece of work. The only reason I dealt with all this was for the kids, and also because the sex is great.

But one night, I got fed up. Not only did she get drunk, neglect the kids, and made me top Ramen for dinner, but she decided to give me attitude too. She was being real fucking bitchy. So I told my grandparents to keep an eye on the kids and told my wife we were going to go out and have dinner together. I drove maybe 3 blocks to a quiet area (we live in Oregon, it's not hard to find a quiet field) and I got out of the car, went around like I was going to open her door for her and let her out, and I just beat the shit out of her while she was still seatbelted. After a few punches, I asked her if she wanted to go back to her parents. She started screaming and yelling and said yes, so I beat the shit out of her again. Then I asked her what she wanted to do. She finally got smart and said she wanted to go home. So I took her home and dared her to start trouble. I even handed her my cellphone and dialed her mom's number on the drive home. I made her talk to her mom, while daring her to fucking say something.

Before that incident, I had never laid a hand on her. But I had always threatened it. I told her "one of these days, if you don't straighten up, I'm going to lay hands on you."

All my meals have been on time, and she just recently tried to make a meatloaf. It was mediocre, but I was just thrilled that she tried.

Do with this information what you will.

Reminder that OP isn't married to this girl and probably doesn't have kids with her, and thus won't have to resort to your psychopathic behavior

whoa ok this is pretty insane

That was a very exciting read. If it's not made up, consider writing more dead-pan stuff.

Real men like you are a rare breed.
She should consider herself lucky to be married to a man, not a nu-male beta-cuck.

>sheltered white sub-urban kids never had to experience a real family man keep his family in order

Guaranteed your dads are cucks. Guaranteed.

>not wanting to pay shitloads in alimony and court fees when she inevitably sues you for domestic abuse

Yeah boy howdy us city folk sure are cucks!

When I first started my reply, it was going to be geared towards telling him that it isn't worth staying with a person you can't get along with. Then I just fucking spaghettied all over the place and admitted to what I'm pretty sure is a felony. Either way, you're right. Hopefully OP doesn't get her pregnant. But if he does, I hope he has been given some good advice in life.

OP here

I appreciate the advice. I don't think she would be as bad (she can do a lot more than top ramen, for instance) but at least she aint pregnant.

I just went out and had a look, she ate everything at least. Probably not worth a 'special drive' and a black eye.

I'll get over it, maybe I'm just too autistic about steak.

>thinking everyone is American just because Veeky Forums is filled to the brim with fast-food and hot dog threads

Parents are from the Balkans. I'll have you know that the age old tradition of spanking your children and keeping the woman in check has kept me well disciplined and the countries divorce rate at 11%.

I'm sure you 'city folk' are quite content with the 54% divorce rate and cuckoldry going on right now.

>assuming I live in the city
>assuming I live in America

Rural Australia FWIW

You don't need to beat a fucking woman to earn respect. The threat of leaving along with your wallet will be enough for most women.

It's about the lack of giving a fuck.
If you made soup and she salted it before trying it, I'd give her a field visit.
Unless of course it's because she's a complete retard in which case you can probably do better.

>shitty wife
>beat her
>shitty kids
>beat them
>shitty husband
>

Jesus Christ mate sounds like you're dating an absolute cunt.

None of these things happened

This is probably out of context and you aren't telling us what a prick you also are.

you need to talk to her and make peace.

You're putting the blame on yourself even though she was acting like a complete child. If you don't nip this sort of behaviour in the bud early on you'll end up as her doormat.

Are you female or just a gayfag?

>gayfag
makes sense in context but I still got a kick out of it

This girl can't even appreciate a good steak. Dump her. Also, sterilize her in her sleep, god forbid if she starts to breed.

You are in a relationship with a selfish cow who has a child's palate. Dump her and stop being such a giant fucking waste of perfectly good oxygen.

off to die in a war

I don't think they have any policies involving conscripting just bad husbands

I'm so hard right now

You seem like a boring cuck who try to force your shitty hobby on everyone.

Just don't cook for her you damn retard. Don't do over complicated stuff to show off. Just do some mac and cheese for her (if you absolutely want to cook for her) and whatever the fuck you want for you.

>Muh I'm a great cook

Things that never happened? And assuming this really did happen (doubtful) then you're a bitch for allowing her to use fucking vine-compilations as an excuse.

I completely agree.
It's obvious she's really depressed, or else she'd actually try at life.
Help her set goals and live by a schedule. Aimless housewives get sad and unproductive real quick user.

I would have dumped her a long time ago.

>married "highschool love"
>needs to beat his wife in order to be respected
>self-identifies as a real man

neck yourself. never laid hand on a woman and still don't get an iota of disrespect. you're pathetic and I feel fucking sorry for you.

your life sounds like if the "just fuck my shit up" meme was taken too far.

Kick her the fuck out of your house and never talk to her again.

It seems wrong to do it, but when you think about it, it probably made her think about how much of a bitch and how lazy was she.

Dump her

How did you get access to a computer from 1950?

> GF

> I GOT A GIRLFRIEND DUDERINOS!
> DID YOU GET THAT?
> I STARTED MY THREAD WITH THAT MEME WORD SPECIFICALLY SO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW COOL I AM
> DID I DESERVE YOUR VALIDATION YET?
> CAN I BE CONTENT WITH MYSELF NOW? I PROMISE IT'S TRUE I GOT A GIRLFRIEND
> I REALLY HAVE SEX, MY DICK GETS WET HAHAHA
> I'M SO FUCKING AMAZING! AM I NOT? OF COURSE I AM! ...Am I?

Stop being such a fucking bitch. You are more desperate than a teenage fucking virgin. In fact, you may easily be still a virgin cause she's not actually your """"""""""""""""""""""""""Girlfriend""""""""""""""""""""""""""".
Get some fucking balls and stop qualifying yourself faggot.

>waaaahhh no one touches my penis

>Send the text
fucking millennials
can't even dump someone in person

Jokes on you, I do it all the time and I know definitely what works. I also had an imstagrann model 9,5/10 in my apartment and we fucked all day. Stop prohjecting.

Great fake story, but tell me more about this onion glaze.

t. sandnigger
Not that I should help you but look up the symptoms of arsenic poisoning and see if they match up with any ailments you have right now.

how is it that on a cooking board, no one recognizes pasta when they see it?

there's no fucking way OP's story is legit. it's too stupid.

same with

if it's not a copypasta, it's obviously someone trying to start one.

There is no way this is real. I refuse to believe you're this much of a cuck that you take this garbage from her.

This. Never dump over a text unless you seriously fear for your life, and if that's the case, why the FUCK did you ever date them? It's a little bitch boy move to ever break up via text. You've gotta see the crushing defeat in their eyes.

This would make a great short film. Tom Ford could do it the way he did nocturnal animals

>tfw Lars von Trier will never make user's story into a needlessly complicated art house film that then gets shunted to netflix

I didn't know I wanted this until you posted about Tom Ford. Nocturnal Animals was pretty dope, but I kinda want to see user's psychodrama played out for 2 hours and have establishing shots of ramen that take 10 minutes. It'd make drinking games so much fun.

Seriously, nothing is funner than getting some normie friends together and making fun of art-house movies.

>Lars von Trier and not Uwe Boll

This is Veeky Forums not tumblr

I can just imagine the wide shot of an empty field with a mostly set sun in the back and a heavy blue filter while user hammers his tiny wife in the lower right third of the frame

>implying Lars von Trier isn't actually hilarious in his own right

Uwe Boll is funny too, but it's waaaaay funner to drink with normies and watch movies that are supposed to be "important". You can always tell the faggot who takes the shit too seriously and you can laugh at them too.

She clearly wants to dump you dude, or she's just not worth sticking with. So just fucking dump her ass first and don't pay for any more of her shit.

I can imagine the wife looking all frail and European while the husband is some generic American, or fucking Willem Dafoe.

>Willem Dafoe

More like Jerry Messing

>dating basic bitches who watch vine compilations
I shiggiity diggity Doo famalam

>you are now imagining Jerry Messing brutally beating some pretty European woman and then yelling at her later if she wants to go back to her parents

That's honestly hilarious to me, and I feel a little bad about it.

tippety top

what race are you?

if thats not bait leave her, also who tf should eat all this food, how fat are you

Don't listen to that "dump her" user. It is way too harsh.

Just smack her once or twice on her face so she will learn her place and respect your work next time.

She considers her phone more important than you, my ex did this shit id ask a simple yes or no question and she would tell me to hold on because she is trying to read something on facebook and get all pissy, fuck that bitch

Not a really crazy story but here goes

>need dinner
>spend 15 doll hairs on beef and veggies and spice
>make crock pot beef and veggie meal
>forgot rice

Still a solid 7/10. The missing three points are for rice

White.
Well, whitish. I'm mixed with some other random shit, none of which is Irish, before anyone asks.

I probably shouldn't have posted that reply. I'm not proud of it, but life does some fucked up shit to a person. Just know that I'm a decent person, but I don't like to be talked to a certain way. I'm not going to continuously argue with a woman over trivial nonsense. If I tell her to shut the fuck up, that means the conversation is over.

PROTIP:

Read this in Sean Connery's voice