Tfw you ruin your omelette during the flip

Hot oil hitting your arm

but you don't flip an omelette.
r u retard

>cook a Lasagna for my roommates
>want to impress them, never cooked for them before
>one is a qt girl I am cracking onto
>make my beautiful meat and white sauces
>put the Lasagna into the oven
>use dry noodles
>later on time for dinner
>open the oven
>realise I didn't turn it on
>everyone in the other room is waiting for their dinner
>fucking panic hard
>boil some water
>slide the entire lasagna into the boiling pot of water
>realise I fucked up
>scoop the mixture into bowles and serve it
>everyone refuses to eat it
>people make fun of me by walking out of the bathroom and saying 'theres a Lasagna for you in there'

If it's too thin and you're inexperienced

>make two kinds of curry.
>use way too much salt in brine so the chicken is uneatable
>throw away 500g of chicken curry

Dumping trays full of biscotti in the trash because I can't tell the difference between baking soda and baking powder. They tasted so bitter.

Why on earth would you brine chicken for a simmered-in-liquid dish like curry?

I could see if you were grilling it or something like that, but why a brine for curry?

One time I came back from fishing with some buddies and one of them volunteered to fry some of the trout up. He coated them in baking soda. It was fucking horrific.

>one package of yeast left
>forgot to put sugar in the water

the indian guy recomended it.

...

>taking advice from an Indian about anything

Next time you need advice about curry, ask a britbong.

>theres a Lasagna for you in there
kek, that's rough m8

What did that even turn out like?

>Cooking egg over easy
>Go to flip it
>Piece of shit spatula is too fat to get under the egg properly
>Yolk ends up breaking
>Whites dont flip over evenly
>End up with broken shitty egg mash that I have to overcook
Every fucking time

>boil some water
>slide the entire lasagna into the boiling pot of water
Also why didn't you just come out of the kitchen laughing and say "So I forgot to turn the oven on. Who wants chinese?"

> making carrot cake
> open buttermilk
> smells rotten
> go to three different supermarkets opening cartons of buttermilk thinking there must be something wrong with the distribution plant or something
> finally just Google "buttermilk smell"
> realize I'm a retard and buttermilk is supposed to smell like shit
> waste like 3 hours and ruined 10 cartons of buttermilk
>I only paid for two though lel cuz supermarket workers didn't know either

You're not supposed to flip an omelette. It's not a pancake.

>spatula
Well there's your problem right there. Just flip with the pan. A spatula is only for a griddle, and if you had a griddle you'd have a proper spatula.

Skip flipping and just use a lid

>not folding your omelette

Sour cookies just don't taste the same, do they?

by cooking it too long

ever pan fry bacon without a shirt on?

it's the devil's game

Well, it looked normal when I combined it in the saucepot, but when it had been halway cooked it looked smooth on top instead of starting to look cakey.
I realized my mistake by this point but I hate waste so I left it in the oven.
When it came out it had a slight crust on top, but it contracted as it cooled, forming a dense, chocolatey, sweet fudge/icing block.
It cut up nicely when chilled and actually tasted really good, but the shame of failure and the fear of the diabeetus kept me from eating much.

If you like lots of sugar I would actually recommend it. It's just like a block of fudgey icing.

bloody hell man thats rough. Is noodles in lasagna an american thing? never heard of or seen it done here in the UK

Ruined a cottage pie by using too much pepper. Such a simple meal yet it can be poisoned by pepper

Kek
drunk you is an asshole
I'd hang out and prank sober you with him

>Run out of cream of tartar
>Use tartar sauce

lol this guy doesn't flip his omelettes

>is there a worse cooking feel than this
breaking a yolk when flipping a perfectly fried egg

>making lemon, salt and pepper chicken
>Made some rice to go with it
>Go to tip a tiny amount of the lemon into the rice like usual
>Tray slips in my hand
>Nearly all the juice went in
>Rice is sourer than your gran seeing lesbians in the street
Really ruined the dish and it was late so I just ate the chicken.

by being a fat neet loser who has moved to so many apartments in the last few years i have no idea how hot my stove(s) get and I buy 8 dollar safeway select cuts that never seem to cook properly

also thermometers are for faggots and menstruating housewives

Holy shit this is brutal

This is the worst fucking feel ever.

I actually love the feeling of bacon spitting on my bare chest as I cook with a hangover

>finish cooking dinner
>accidentally drop my plate onto the floor
>lost a plate, ruined my dinner, have to wipe the shit sprawled along the entire floor and have to cook dinner again

do americans really flip their omelettes?

>make veggie hash with carrots, sweet potato, normal potato, little hot pepper
>super easy, tastes good, etc.
>nice steaming plate
>set it down on my bed while I clear off my desk
>can't find headphones, flop down onto bed to check under the blankets for some reason
>perfectly positioned to hit the edge of the plate, whole dinner goes flying
>hits the ground
>try to scrape it up but visibly has dirt/grit on it from the floor
>clean it up and go to bed early and hungry
Kill me now, gentlemen

you don't have to flip an omelet

>>tfw you ruin your omelette during the flip
Why flip? Don't you just fold them and then let them sit for a bit?

that said I hate it when I fuck up the fold by trying to fold too early and it splits and goes everywhere

Ahahaha that's that's a sad joker ahahaha ahahaha get it a sad a sad joker a joker ahahaha a sad joker thats so funny and so sad at the same time ahahahahahaha now I feel bad

>eating on your bed and not at the dining room table

you deserve your fate

kek I love this reference