My wife is having a very severe allergic reaction to dairy. What should I do?

Your wife might be dying you idiot

And it only took you 20 minutes to make this decision knowing she's having an allergic reaction with no epi pen available. I hope there isn't another emergency occurring which could possibly delay first responders further.

If there is a major delay then you may have to take this user's advice and learn how to perform a tracheostomy. I know thinking clearly during an emergency is difficult, but goddamn dude.

We're on our way to getting medical help now, thank you to those of you who actually helped

>old people call emergency services when they can't find their tv remote
>your wife is dying but you "don't want to take drastic measures"

hmmmm

have you tried giving your wife chocolate chip cookies?

I'm not a doctor but my gut tells me it'll help, soak up some of that life giving dairy

You are so fucking stupid

OP, my thoughts are with you and your SO. No one should have to suffer dairy allergies in this day in age. If medical science can't find a way to make us all able to drink it we need to just get rid of it. No one NEEDS dairy. If it can save one life it's worth it.

It's called an emergency cricothyroidotomy. There's probably a wikihow on how to do it. Don't forget the thumb in the anus. You'll fail your skills test if you don't. Your wife will think you're a bad ass.

...

>if one person has an allergy to a thing, no one is ever allowed to consume that thing ever again

Hope you enjoy scurvy, I'm allergic to fruits and vegetables.