How you holding up Veeky Forums bros?

I am back and listening. Anything you have buried in your chest that you want to get off?

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I had unprotected sex with a few tranny hookers, worried I got the aids

dubs. user big trouble. please go to a doc and get yourself checked.

I hate my life and i am scared that I will do something crazy soon.
push me over the edge....

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>I had unprotected sex with a few tranny hookers
w-who got penetrated?

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I have to wait a few weeks so the tests are accurate right? biz bros keep a level head, you're not you when you're horny

I don't know what I want in life. I just turned 28 and I don't know what goals to set for myself. I'm just floating with the tide.

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I was top, I think this lowers my odds of being screwed, no pun intended

It does by a lot.

any blood? was the tranny on prep?
should be fine

>put it all in a cold paper wallet
>have at least 2 copies of it, and hide them in different places
>help the project of your coins the way you can, like running 24/7 nodes, or things like that
>forget about, and wait some months/years

3 months is the typical incubation period. You won't get reliable results before then.

i don't have any friends and the one i thought i had were just high schools peers.
Now i'm 22 in college, lonely af mainly because of my stuttering problem and my ugliness
I literally can't talk and it's really bad, i already spent too much on doctors but for nothing, they all say the same shit
I don't know how much i can go on just by myself, solitude sucks

Fingers crossed, no blood. Funny thing is the first time I did this I convinced myself I'd never let it happen again. fall down 7 times stand up 8 and all that
might want to find some kind of goal/ purpose, a life without any fight can feel like a life not worth living

user, everybody has a different life. some are born rich and some have to work hard even to feed once a day. whether you are born rich or poor, it wasnt in your hands. but you can change your situation, all you got to do is look for opportunity. it might seem that there are doors closed but if you look hard, you might seem a little ray of light. follow it and it will lead you to the path. at times you get demotivated but it's time like those when you got to pick yourself up and move. hope it help user

yes user, you have to wait a few weeks but hope it works out well for you. i would suggest to keep yourself protected in future. good luck user

you might not have a goal set for yourself yet. this is something you have to find out yourself. once you have a goal, you have to work out ways to reach it. 28 isn't late in any way. you have some experiences which could help you in shaping your goals. find your goal and then work on the journey to reach that goal. there is no harm in floating in the tide till you find the goal. just do not wander in the unwanted territory( substance abuse etc) and try to introspect about things you want. you should be good, all the best user

pretty sure i blew my greatest chance to get a qt gf. will know for sure in a week or so. if i fuck this up im going to seriously start considering suicide.

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i actually just made a year sober. thank you user, truly. all the best to you too.

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considering suicide isn't as bad as society puts it. It's your fucking life user don't let other ppl decide if it's worth living

these thought have been getting me thru the last 26 years of my life.

depression accelerating. I hate myself.

at what stage is it enough?

Dad has 6 months to live. He's constantly in the ICU with some complication and the stress is really getting to me. Ive been maintaining my composure for him and my younger sister. On top of that i'm taking a full pre med courseload in school and maintaining a research position and some volunteer positions. He'll never see my future grandkids and won't see me make it in life. He's honestly a good doctor and great person. An oncologist with his own practice who has never sent anyone to collections, and treated many for free. I've been trying to follow in his footsteps in terms of being a good man. He's always said he just wants me to be happy, but I know he always wanted to see one of his children become a doctor. He never will and that's heartbreaking to me

how bad is it? what's he cause of your depression?

sorry to hear that user. first thing first, ugliness is in the beholder of eyes. something you find ugly might be beautiful to others' eyes. you might want to improve some personal traits into you which could help you get over the fact that you feel you are ugly(although i do not believe the phrase ugly) you are just 22 and if you have some acne or skill problem that can be treated.
the stuttering problem is something that will go over with time. i had a friend who had the similar condition as you described. turned out stuttering was because of confidence loss. he was out of college and i met him 3 years after that. no stuttering, confident hand shake and bro hug. masculinity was dripping from every action, the only thing that changed?? he regained his confidence.
finding friends isnt hard, you might have to initiate something with people you like and try to make friends. people wont come to you but you have to go to them.
good luck user

I dont even know anymore - have given up on trying to justify why i feel the way i feel.

The last 6 months I dont care anymore. Im emotionally drained.

The only time i feel anything is when i hear my mother cry... that hurts

user, all the best for next week and even so if it doesnt happen, there are multiples of qt(22/7)s in this world who would die to be with you. all you got to do is give some time and effort. hope you get what you want. all the best user

no problem user.

any specific thing thats accelerating your depression you want to share user. we might help you with direction

yeah i heard the confidence thing a lot, the problem is i don't have that kind of stutter, i always stutter even with my parents, i can't breathe properly when i talk and something goes off in my head when i try to talk properly, again i tried everything in my teens
thanks though

damn, at least do it for your mother, that's what keeps going me too
I just want to make it to make my mother proud, that's all i need honestly

user, i am very sorry for you. your dad seem like a very nice person and you are a good son taking his care. your dad must be proud of you and he is satisfied with how he raised you. you might not know but this is the something every parent wants to see, their kids raised to perfection. and that happened with him, you are by his side in these tough times.
life is unpredictable and unfair, sometimes. it takes away good people early and scums are roaming around the earth. but guess what, we cant control it. all we can do is spend as much time as we can with the loved ones.
my dad was diagnosed with brain tumor right on the day when i was fly to a different country with my wife to work there for 3 years. i know how much it crushed my heart and soul. he is the strongest person i have seen since my childhood and there he was lying unconscious in ICU. I have no words to describe, luckily it turned out good eventually for me.
user, i hope you give best 6 months to your father so that everyday his satisfaction intensifies that he raised you good. godspeed, user


Hey man, hang in there. I've dealt with depression and social anxiety my whole life. For me, it stemmed from a lack of self-confidence. You can start cultivating that by treating yourself right. Eat well. Exercise (lifting) will release endorphins and make you more physically attractive. Obviously there's health benefits too. Maintain good hygiene and an organized living space. Being smelly and coming home to a mess compounds feelings of worthlessness. Doing all of the above helped me significantly. Not cured, but it has made things manageable. for sure. At the beginning you just gotta force youself to do these things. They get easier

if you have too many thoughts running in your mind, it might be possible that you are not able to word them at the speed they occur. it might not be issue of confidence but could be that you are quite conscious to your surroundings ( like what would people think if i say that) and it might delay the thought that you wanted to put forward.

the past year has been the worst year of my life.
I became depressed and started to fall, I knew I was falling and needed to stop my self but I just didnt care and let my self keep falling. I'm a kind natured person but i have become bitter and angry. I no longer am patient with people and its like a monster has been created.

I no longer give a fuck about 99% of things I used to. I have started my decent back to the top but I have changed as a person so much I sometimes dont even recolonize my self. I feel like i have been living my life on auto pilot and I'm in control now. Its been the most surreal experience of my life.

50k in debt because I had a prostitute addiction. I got rid of my addiction, but how do I get the money back user?
I have no addictions now, I just want a second shot at life.
I got 3k fiat to invest and 1,7k in crypto

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Man this is how i feel 100%. you articulated this so well.
im hurting, pretty badly too bud.
Hi from the other side of the world.

Anons I fucking feel so stupid. It's not even because I did anything silly, I did what I thought was good. Meet a young millionaire in NY, I'm a nice guy - make friends with him and we go out a few times for drinks (I pay each time). He's a legit high roller only gets private cars to pick him up, so I do the same hiring expensive cars in the hope of trying to build a relationship and show I'm not just hanging around 'for the money'. He gets drinks one night gets pick pocketed and texts me asking that he needs to go home so can I please book a flight back home for him. Last minute flight, costs me 700 dollars and I pay no questions asked, he's grateful - invites me to chill in Hawaii. Just says turn up, sleep in my villa. I ask for the address, he says he's on his way there he will get me the address when I land. I land - nothing from him, claims he overslept missed the flight. I still give him benefit of the doubt, end up getting a shit hotel and he says he'll get in touch with me - ignoring me ever since. And I still apologies to him by text saying sorry if I did something wrong - he completely ignores me (has read all messages). Legit I feel like a fucking dick and I was just being a nice guy, 'paying it forward' and I've been done by what seemed to be a high roller out of around $1000 which is a lot boys. Worse it's the feeling of betrayal that hurts more than the financial incentive, truth be told similar stuff has happened before where I trust people too much, I'm just too trusting and I end up getting fucked. Sorry this isn't a larp, just wanted to get this off my chest - been dreaming about how silly I feel and I just wanted to share.


hello friend! Its good to know im not alone.

Although its been a rough path I feel like this is the rebirth and my life is just getting started.

well user you were at the bottom and you accumulated yourself at the bottom and now you are raising. well stupid analogy but it seems like you are doing good now. you might feel different because something all good and patient doesnt work with people. just hope you are not disrespectful to people, other than that you are doing good. keep it up user

how did you turn things around?
im getting worse....

just stop paying your debt user

50k is too deep user. you had two bad points in life and you got rid of one. you have just the debt left and you recognize it, so it's good. you already got your second shot but you have to hustle to get through that debt. get a regular job and work hard upwards. always be lookout for better opportunities. i know that if you work hard it would take 2-3 years to get rid of that debt. hope it works out for you user, all the best.

Recently just praying for guidance and talking to trees.

It's taxing to see an oblivious populace to the coming turmoil, I have my first child in August. I just want us to be okay.

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I had to hit bottom first. Just try not to sabotage your self to much on the way down.

doing better, just going to live it day to day and enjoy a stress free life.

This. bad things pick up momentum and you find yourself down a spiral only to come out of it completely different (if you survive). Makes it harder to judge people

ffs, how are we so similar. I literally fuck myself by justifing to myself I dont deserve better. From there I 'sabotage'.
this is all a game isnt it. life is a fucking game

life probably isn't a game, but people play games so it helps to get good at the games people play

no problem user, get it off your chest.
reading through your story, it feels like you wanted to be a good friend but it all ended up being a huge pile of shit. although you wanted him to like you and you were conscious of the fact that he might think you are in because of the money. you seem too conscious of how people think about you and you go beyond the line to help them out. you shouldnt be too worried about what people think about you. you cant earn true friendship by paying for things. for it to work, both sides have to work.
it is not at all silly and has happened to the best of us. although i would suggest not to go far and beyond and apologising all the time, this would make you small in your own eyes. keep your dignity. you are a good person and you would get many people who would want to be your true friends.
hope it helps, all the best user

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congratulations in advance for your child user. you will be okay

Are you me? I am literally going through something similar. I came in the cunt of a tatted up Hispanic prostitute and I haven't slept in 2 days worrying I got aids or some other African disease.

How fast did you came user? I didn't last more than ten seconds (5 strokes at most). I came a huge load and immediately panicked and left. I am hoping you can't get a disease that fast.

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I guess one thing I did that really started to turn it around was instead focusing on the negative from everything i only focused on the positive.

Every life experience can be a positive experience if you look at it the right way.

I listened to alot of Jordan Peterson as well. Peterson was literally a god send and he became popular just at the right time for me. Makes me feel like the universe didn't forget i existed

I came pretty fast the first time got tested a week after and convinced myself I'd never let it happen again.
Lo and behold I fuck the same tranny and a few others a few weeks later.
I try to take the good with the bad, keep a fairly neutral view

day #636

today I woke up at 4PM, getting up seemed hard and I avoided it for another 2 hours before I made some breakfast, I went to the computer and checked the crypto market, shit was down as usual. bullmarket is like a distant memory from the past, I booted up some videogames and played into the night, I had some pizza at around 10PM, then 2 big bars of toblerone.
watched a movie, watched some episodes of some tv shows and then browsed biz for a bit.
already buzzed and tired. gonna go to bed now at around 6AM.

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>left hometown 3 years ago
>going to community college in burgerland
>did a bunch of drugs and partied through and after high school, that's why I'm only just back in school now
>motivated, doing very well academically, even have a paid internship at a big name place, and tutor for the school in math/science
>surrounded by inexperienced fucktards who have no concept of real life or hard work, literally silver spoon-fed children
I hate this period of my life for the fact that I'm basically alone out here, away from family and friends, etc, and connect with nobody here on a deeper level, it's just surface level interactions that never extend beyond what's necessary for work/school. I know it's just temporary but sometimes it gets to me.

Guys, consider St. Johns wort if you want a mood booster, OTC and fairly potent

I want to strangle a hooker

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I hear voices that sometime sync up. like I was wearing an iron man shirt and heard someone call me a nerd. in my head. I want to belive I'm crazy. I've smoked a lot of weed, am I simply hallucinating 24/7?

Hmm thanks for this

Thanks user. Yes this is true, I worry about such things. But you know partly at the back of my mind I think there was a little selfish intent in which I thought he could help me out (he did indeed offer - his words were 'you're going to be rich don't worry about that') and I guess the idea of someone helping me get out into a better financial situation is something that helped me to force a bond. Whether or not that's a good or a bad thing I don't know but hey either way your post really helped. Serious, thanks user - means a lot and I wish you well brother.

sounds like it. ironman and whatnot is super normie mainstream, i dont think people would call anyone a nerd for associating with it.

I also heard someone say their feet smelled moments before actually catching a whiff.

I am 25 year old virgin, I have never been romantic with a women, I don’t even know how. Should I fuck an escort and be down with it?

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you mentioned spending money on docs so I'm guessing you saw a speech therapist? Did they give you any insight about it, even if they don't have a solution?

I got completely fucked by cryptopia. Would have been ATH despite bear market now bled to 90% loss.

>but why user

funds have been on the blockchain for 30 days so I don't have access to my biggest stack

it's important to remember what rock-bottom felt like user.
It's kinda like being aware of the price floor for a coin, where even if you are down for the day you can look at your lowest and feel good that it isn't as bad anymore. Best of luck.

what a fuckin fag. Beat the fuck out of him. Seriously.

i don’t have a desire to do anything anymore. i don’t even feel like masturbating or eating.


Don't question it. Live healthy, eat well, exercise, read books. The voices will pass.

t. two time psych ward hero

Yes. The sexier she is, the less bad you feel. As a matter of fact when I think back on my sexual history I'm only ashamed of the greasy bitches. The top notch prostitutes were fun.

For best effect, open 2-3 caps and mix with hot water/tea/coffee

pretty fucking comfy

what do you mean?

A mixed bag OP.

I basically 3x my Eth in the PoWH and Ethphoenix eternal ponzis (I got in too late for PoWH big initial surge, early on Ethphoenix though), and I'm using the divs to buy up any promising pre-ICO and ICO tokens I want without needing to put more fiat in. Looking to get into MakerDAO CDP's soon, looks cool as shit. I found some LTC in an old wallet, and bought ADA at what I thought was a good price (2500 sats) - lol dem bags! I've made money off holding Link, EOS, ZRX & BNB (which I was just accumulating for fee payment, and suddenly it became a great hold kek). I sold Req before the last dump, but need to buy back in at some point. Oh, and I'm just waiting on Profittrailer v2 to drop, then I'm going to get going with that- a buddy of mine has done well with v1, it's not REALLY fully automated (you still need to understand TA etc, and kinda tweak it each day, choose good projects etc), but it just means you don't need to be parked in front of the charts CONSTANTLY. Got 0.1 Btc set aside for it, hoping it's the same price as v1.

So, despite the Bear market (and not being a real daytrader, I'm pretty good at TA, I'm just BAD at following my own systems, too much anxiety) I'm actually WAY up for the year (off shit that SHOULD have been scams haha), and just having fun with it all. Getting a big chunk of fiat too this week - hopefully the market is still shit by then (probably will be!) so I can grab some more bargains.

Oh yeah, and in non-crypto news, I've gotten into doing surveys, product testing and secret shopping. Being a freelance coder (ie glorified NEET) it fits my lifestyle, and I've actually made some money. Would recommend for all Veeky Forums to check it out.

So.....doing alright Op. Just ups and downs kek.

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>Would recommend for all Veeky Forums to check it out
Where exactly?

I’ve become less and less interested in schoolwork and more focused on making money lately to invest. I feel frustrated and impatient.
A part of me wants this part of life to be over with and skip to the part where I make it.
A second part of me feels like each day I spend working, I’m missing out on something important.
And a third is frustrated I haven’t done anything worthwhile and time is passing me by.

I'm in Australia, so I just signed up to a bunch of em. Making the most from YouGov, Clixsense & Survey village. I keep hoping someone makes a decent one that pays in Ether though - Storm is supposed to but it's kinda shit. Not all are online - I've gone in and done a couple of product testing things (Like a $100 for an hour or two).

For secret shopper shit - just I'm going to apply to a few more, see which is the best.

Not interested in survey shit, i'm talking about freelance coding

Oh! Kek, all referrals these days. I was with Upwork & Freelancer - but I've got enough regular clients now I don't bother anymore, and I get enough new clients from them referring me to keep me as busy as I want to be. Plus if you work with a few people on some projects, they'll help you with more work (or when you desperately need a hand). Upwork is probably your best bet to get into it now starting cold though.

By the way: anyone here freaking out about crypto is a faggot right now because you are cleary OVER INVESTED (should say over speculating, but) that's it!!

Everyone else should be accumulating more of their favorite projects. Simple as that guys. Frankly, it's why traffic is so low. Anyone with half a brain isn't going to circle jerk and waste time on here my dudes.

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Oh, and you wanna know which language is my biggest earner? Fucking PHP (and Javascript). Because every useless trash-tier pajeet out there does em, and businesses just INSIST on using Wordpress and similar PHP-garbage (yep, even for fucking backend scripting...) so they end up with awful, broken crap you've ever seen. And most good coders are off trying to work with good languages - so you can charge the moon to be an actual GOOD PHP dev. You may need new hair though from the chemo to cure you of the cancer reading all that pajeet code will give you.

>anyone here freaking out about crypto

Is anyone here ACTUALLY freaking out though? I've been assuming it's all just larpers, trolls and shorters for a while now - board is much quieter. Basically everyone is just fudding each other in a big circlejerk at this point to try and get more buys.

My experience with a tranny hooker was that it made me appreciate how much practice is necessary to learn how to give good blowjobs. And though it took two visits, I learned that I'm not interested in getting that practice.


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I feel for you user :(

earncrypto pays in ether, tho they have other coins with lower transaction fee

fug, forgot to mention also in the US we have some secret shopping stuff like, i actually do it maybe 1-2/week, i go and eat at a restaurant or fast food, come home fill out a 10 question survey, and they pay for my meal + $5-10

>28 going on 29.
>Kid. Wife
>Bad Xanax and drug long term side effects catching up.
>So much to offer but no fanbase or social circle to move them forward.
>Very little money. Putting everything into getting assets quickly through crypto and it starting to go somewhere.
>BAAAAAAD Neurosis.
Anyways just putting it out there. Any advice appreciated.


Uncannily close, except subtract the chocolate and add an half-assed run in the middle of the day.

I am repressing my homosexuality because i think it is degenerate. I am breaking up with my gf because of this but can't tell her. I can't tell anyone.

Solid thread, thanks op upvoted. Not quite Veeky Forums related but it's what we need

I love You Feelsguy, thank you for your love.

I'm not a violent guy and besides I'll never see him again probably. Well I might, but it's just not gonna Halpem. All too much anxiety thinking about it but thanks for the back user.

i got head from a black girl on friday, she said we cant have sex "i could have hiv" me being drunk laughed and kept pushing for sex. didn't get any though. makes me think she actually had the AIDS