I've never actually eaten a hamburger in my life

where the fuck are you, OP? that'll make a difference.

He asked for a burger, not a sissy gains sandwich.

Seriously, bro?

Just go to your local supermarket, grab an onion, tomato, potato/hawaiian buns, lettuce, and some 80/20 ground beef. get whatever condiments you wants, mustard, mayo, ketchup, etc.

toast them buns in butter, slice the vegs thin. make some thing 1/4 beef patties. they're done literally when they look appetizing. put together however you want. enjoy a better burger than what you can get at 80% of restaurant establishments.

Don't tell him to make his own you fucktards, it'll be very unlike the average experience of a burger.

Op just go to a place that does thin patties first. They're my preference and more traditional.

you might have an intolerance to eggs

that's kind of how it starts

try not eating eggs for a few days and see if it clears up

lol what? It's pretty much a bulletproof plan to experience a decent burger.

No it isn't. He's never had one ad he doesn't have the same setup to produce a fast food or diner style burger. Don't be a dumbass.

Don't be a dumbass

well shit, if he doesn't have a stove or a pan, you'd probably be right.

otherwise, naw, fuck you guy.

50/50 staters start at the best

stovetop burgers are nice and all but they are not the same.

i generally prefer my burgers over restaurant ones but they're not the same thing.

slaters for sure

Ameriburger here. Praying your first burger is a good burger. God bless.

Make your own fucking burger.
Bind some ground beef with eggs. Shape them into patties and cook them well-done (you can actually get salmonella if you eat undercooked ground beef). Then serve them on a bun with lettuce leaves, tomato slices, ketchup, and mustard.
And there you got it, the world's most generic burger.

>binding

Stopped reading right there and dropped.

SHAKE SHACK!!!!!!!

Holy shit I didn't know someone could be this autistic.

It is so hard for me to resist taking this fucking bait

I agree that you should try making your own first. Get patties, buns, and lettuce, onion, tomato, ketchup, and mustard to get the most genetic burger, that'll be your reference point.

Now if you're going to try some from a restaurant, you should start at the bottom. Here's the other I'd doy this order based on my experience.

>McDonald's
> Steak and Shake
>Hardee's
>Wendy's
>Burger King
>Depending on where you live, Culver's, 5 guys, and In and Out

After that, do some research on what sit down restaurant is considered to have the best burger and get that. You'll be well versed in burgers after all this.

Generic not genetic whoops

Make you own. Grab some minced short rib, form half pound patties, grill for a couple of minutes each side and toast a bun, add some lettuce, mustard or tomato relish, maybe a pickle, and your favourite cheese.
Per patty
Clove garlic
Quarter of an onion, sweated
Pinch of thyme, pepper.

Tips
Compress the patties as much as you can, a mould and some cling film work wonders
Use a coal grill or griddle pan, and finish in the oven.
Don't season till you cook, it prevents drawing out the moisture

Best of luck

In N Out is overrated shit

Don't fuck around with something this important, OP. Go straight to Burger King and get a Whopper.

The Black Rose in Hendersonville, NC.
Best goddamn burger i've ever had