What's your morning/breakfast routine like?

i like getting up early. i always wake up and start some sourdough toast. While I'm waiting I masturbate with a gun to my head.

Is this a joke?

I wake up at 11:30 - 12 hungover each day, go to make a coffee then realise I haven't got any because I am too cheap to buy some. Then I brood for several hours and finally cook dinner.

I used to not make breakfast but now I've started making a shitload of little spinach and cheese quesadillas and freezing them. In the morning I'll take one out and heat it up.

Pretty good so far.

>wake up to mom screaming at me to get up
>piss
>throw clothes on
>chew gum
>walk 15 minutes to school
>get coffee from convenience store across the street from school
>sit alone all day because I have no friends

>wake up
>set coffee to brew
>fall asleep for 5 more minutes
>wake up again when coffee is done and the machine beeps
>pour coffee
>take a sip
>burn my tongue
>sleep for a few more minutes
>chug down coffee now it's cool enough
>eat nothing until past noon and feel nauseous from the pot of coffee I drank on an empty stomach

every day

Wake up are 5 AM to an overbearing feeling of dread regarding going to work that day (every day). Toss in bed for 15 minutes while my gf gets ready, then shower. Drink a cup of coffee and force myself to eat so something small and dry.

>wake up
>get out of bed
>piss
>coffee
>toasted white bread
>shower
>shit
>get out of shower
>Go online
>wait 8 hours
>eat food
>go to bed
>fall asleep

Repeat for 10 years

>wake up
>piss
>drink a lot of water
>have eggs with coffee
>weed if I have some

>overbearing feeling of dread
>gf

ree

>wake up
>get shot

>wake up
>piss

>wake up at 10
>lay in bed for another hour because no reason to wake up in the morning
>french press coffee + scrambled eggs
>smoke cigarette
Still better than wagecucking at least

>wake up
>take shot

>wake up
>shit/piss
>get dressed in gym clothes
>walk to my car
>drive to work
>lift
>shower
>protein shake
>caffeine pill & vitamins

Patrician

I had to get up in the morning at ten o’clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, eat a clump of coal poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when I got home, my Dad and mother would slash into me with breadknife.

>wake up
>count reasons to get up
>fall asleep again

>awake
>drink a few glasses of water
>shower while listening to music
>cook eggs and toast maybe sausage too
>maybe a half cup of coffee if I feel like it
>off to work
music is literally the best way to get me alert and awake, coffee actually makes me tired or I get too high strung from it so I just avoid it

>300mls cold water
>300mls green tea with lemon juice

>first meal of day is at noon

who else IF here? i dont even get hungry till 12 anymore, feels goodman

i, too, enjoy drinking cough syrup

>wake up in a dizzy
>do a line of coke on my nightstand
>swig of old vodka next to bed
>wake up for real
>clean up a bit, sometimes shower
>throw on clothes, suit and tie
>go to work at law office for 16-18 hour days
>couple bumps of yay here and there

When I make partner things will get better right

>Wake up 6:00am
>Get dressed
>Piss
>Cook & eat some instant oats
>Eat some yoghurt
>Drink a bunch of water
>Shit if there's time
>Brush teeth & gargle mouthwash
>Leave for work 6:30am

well the quality of coke and vodka should improve so theres that

>wake up 3 hours before alarm
>1 and 1/2 hours before alarm
>30 mins before alarm
>alarm goes off in the middle of a deep REM cycle
>have toast with peanut butter and a cup of double caf tea
>drive to work in a stupor
>only start to really wake up a couple hours into my shift

Its 'cold' poison you clod

>wake up with death looming over my body at 3am
>fully paralysed
>3 minutes he stares into my soul
>decides to not take me, floats away
>the shadow people dance around the walls
>about 30 minutes before I can move
>they disappear when I move
>turn to stare at my alarm clock until it goes off at 5am
>cup of whisky
>cup of coffee
>shit
>shower
>get dressed
>smoke so I don't smell like alcohol walking into office
>drive to work
>7am

Nigga don't shit in the shower, that's what toilets are for.

Kill yourself shitlorde

Breakfast is a fucking meme if you don't do anything active like most office-working first-worlders do. You don't need to eat 500 calories every morning to "get you through the day". Even lunch shouldn't be anything more than a quick bite at most.

Yeah I haven't eaten breakfast for years. I don't have an appetite in the morning ever so I just go straight for lunch around 1pm

i bet you stuff twinkies and other little "harmless snacks ;)" down your gullet every chance you get

On a weekday?

Wake up, swing my legs off the bed
Sit with my head in my hands for 5-10 minutes, wondering if today is finally gonna be the day
Decide that it isn't
Take caffeine pill and vitamin supplements
Take a piss
Apply facial cleansing mask and moisturising hand cream
Clean teeth, use mouthwash to get rid of shitmouth
Remove facial cleansing mask, apply facial mosturiser
Shower. I'll wash my hair every other day, otherwise it turns into straw.
Get dressed. All my clothes are basically the same combination of 'witty' shirt and cargo trousers, plus boxers and two pairs of socks
Head downstairs
Check the mail
Feed the cat, who will be screeching incredibly loudly by now
Prepare my lunch for the day
Eat a half bowl of cereal
Brush hair
Sit at the kitchen table and once again consider if today is gonna be the day
Decide, again, that it isn't
Put my shoes on, and begin my walk to work

what do you mean by if today is going to be the day?

The day I'm going to work up the nerve to actually kill somebody and not just fantasise about it.

I've got everything I need, and I know exactly how I'd do it, I just don't know if I want to take that step and find out if I actually am a psycho or if this is all just a wild delusion. Do I actually want to know? Is it worth losing my ability to say that I'm normal just to find out? And if I am normal, how would it affect me? Like, I don't particularly feel like I'd have remorse, but I want to know for certain, since I'm told that actually taking a life is something that can't really be described without experiencing it firsthand, and if I did, in fact, have remorse, it would lower my quality of life greatly.

Every day for six years now I've been thinking about it, the lack of surety is driving me insane. I'm content with my life, but I don't know, I want to discover more about myself and see if scratching this itch will actually make me happy, as opposed to simply content.

Edgy

>Turn off alarm
>Stay like 5min in bed in complete dark
>Turn off 2nd alarm
>Get ou of bed
>Boil some water
>Find something to eat, either oatmeal or bread with jam or eggs
>Have a pint of tea with this
>Shower
>Take extra time in front of mirror
>3rd alarm start ringing
>OhshitI'mlate.jpg

I think you need professional help because the thought of killing someone isn't normal. Its selfish to end the life of another human

>Get out of bed
>Get back in bed and sleep 10 more minutes
>Get out of bed again
>Piss
>Shower
>Brush teeth/hair
>Make oatmeal and coffee
>Pack lunch if I can be bothered, skip lunch if I don't pack anything
>Go to work

Yay adulthood!

>alarm 04:55
>stay in bed
>get up 05:15
>get dressed, Have a glass of water
>get in the car, drive to work
>arrive at work 06:30, put the kettle on and change into workclothes
>have a cup of coffee or tea, then start my workday, it is now 07:00
>have lunch 10:00

Coffee, smoke and shit prior to the shower dipshit.

Only one way to find out desu.

>Wake up
>Get changed
>Get in truck
>Drive to DD
>Get Big and Toasted and a black coffee

>wake up
>get dressed
>dunk head in rain water/rub face with snow
>feed pigs, sheep and cows
>refill water for all animals
>put on a pot of coffee
>eat breakfast

>being so filthy when you shit you need to have a shower to cleanse your ENTIRE body

Learn to clean your ass properly after taking a shit and stop getting it all over yourselves.

On weekdays:
>Alarm goes off
>Hit snooze
>Alarm goes off
>Hit snooze
>Alarm goes off
>Hit snooze
>Alarm goes off
>Hit snooze
>Alarm goes off
>Get dressed
>Locate wallet and keycards
>Take a piss
>Feed the cat
>Coat and shoes
>Out the door
>Go to office
>Brew pot of coffee
>2 sugars 2 creamers
>Drink while doing paperwork
>Maybe get another if it's a busy morning or if the director actually ordered decent coffee this time
>"Breakfast" break at 10, toast w/jam and 4 sausage links
>Play on phone/socialize with co-workers
>Back to office

On weekends:
>Sleep until 10 or the cat whining for food wakes me up
>Put on boxers
>Feed the cat
>Take a piss
>Steak and potatos and eggs
or
>Bacon sandwich
or
>Peanutbutter pancakes with jelly
>No other meal until dinner around 5

>wake up
>wish I hadn't
>shower
>eat if I have time
>leave

Wake up around 6:30 get kids up and ready and take them to school. On way home stop and get a Starbucks iced coffee and some sort of pastry that's unhealthy as fuck. For the next 1-3 hours I get on the computer or watch TV then after that get ready from work.

>wake up to blaring alarm clock at 5 am
>take prescription amphetamine that you got by faking ADD and drink a bottle of water
>smoke three cigarettes before forcing yourself into a cold shower
>go to fucking work
>come home at about 9pm, heat up a can of beans on the stove, down your vitamin and fish oil pills with another bottle of water
>pass the fuck out as the amphetamines have now worn off
>repeat five days a week

>wake up at 2pm
>piss
>left over pizza
>online/ps4
>order chinese
>leave half for tomorrow
>online/ps4
>sleep at 5am

Life as an unemployed eurofag

>wake up usually feeling like shit
>put my jeans I haven't washed in a month and some sandals
>go to grocery store for some soda and candy for breakfast
>take an aspirin if I'm still feeling like shit

shit I wanted another sweet,sweet, ice tea from Bojangles today, but I forgot.

im just gonna say its terrible. ill get a good hefty breakfast luckily once a week. rest is scraps

i do eat maybe 4 or 5 nice meals for dinner in a week tho. lunch is leftovers half the time

Maybe if you stopped eating shit you'd stop feeling like shit

High school wasn't a good time for me, home-life wise.

>mom went back to PA to live with sister
>dad spends his days alternating between being too busy with work and being too shit-faced to care
>little sister has cerebral palsy
>I have to make sure she's fed and ready for school and shit
>I can only make tacos or spaghetti, no time to learn how to cook other dishes
>dad hauls off and knocks me out cold one day
>I lie to school resource officer multiple times about home life
>consider suicide a few times

I ended up joining the Navy once my sister got sent back to my mom (though I'm not sure that was the best decision).

I feel you, user

This. I remember it being fizzy. Just purely awful. Not thirst quenching at all.

>wake up
>grab a brush and put a little make up

Watch beheading/murder videos until you think you're completely desensitized. Then watch some more until you see something so horrible that it makes you never want to see such things again.

For me, it was seeing two people get beheaded but the person starting to cut at the back of their necks, instead of at the front which would result in them passing out from blood loss in a few seconds. Seeing them twitch as they started cutting into their spines and hearing them groan in pain was one of the most horrible things I've seen, and it made me gain a real appreciation for peace and treating other people kindly.

i drink an orange 10k and then jack off til my fitbit says i'm at the moon.

Sweet jesus I laughed at this a little much

>not brushing your teeth in the shower.
>brushing before eating.
What the fuck is wrong with you?

brush before eating protects your teeth from the food

retrojunk.com/commercial/show/17631/10k-sports-drink

Same thing but replace sports drank with Hennessy. Some mornings I might do a Vodka Cranberry, or Screwdriver.

At least have a glass of water or brush without paste before you leave.

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