Suffering from high level of constipation

need to find diet or cooking methods to bring me relive from this very terrible condition.
Even eating large amounts of soups and drinking lot's of water fruit and vegetable juices is not helping.
My life is a horror if you have any advice please help me.

*Medical textbook*
1) How long has it been since you've last voided your bowels?
2) Any other digestive issues?

Got a pharmacy near you? Try some meds over the counter.

Eat plants and focus on increasing fiber intake. Increased bulk from plant matter and fiber will improve regularity and induce defecation before fecal compaction occurs.

Outside of very specific gastrointestinal conditions like irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), constipation is generally a poor diet problem, especially for those who consume high amounts of processed foods and meat (both of which are devoid of much if any fiber) as is characteristic of the standard American diet (SAD).

TL;DR – Stop eating dogshit food and start eating whole plant foods.

One word: prunes
One preparation: soak them in water overnight

And if you don't like prunes then pears, which actually have huge amounts of fibre too.

Curried chilli lentils on a bed of buckwheat, and a large sugary coffee after. Good luck.
The key is fibrous foods man.
Failing that (how?), try ingesting a fistful of wasabi.

Like others have said you need fiber.
doesn't matter how much liquid you eat your body will just absorb it and make you pee more.
fiber holds water your body can't absorb so your poop gets wetter.

add more veggies and stuff like beans and peas have alot of fiber.
I myself take fiber capsules every day to help me get more fiber.

if you are severely constipated drink a bottle of magnesium citrate.
for sure in a few hours you will empty everything in your bowels. It forces more water into your bowels and will clean you right out.
(protip, don't leave the house if you take it because you will need to go potty about a dozen times)

its cheap about 1$ a bottle and its what the doctor would tell you to take

Coffee based diet.

OP, you need to drink Citrucel, Benefiber or Metamucil twice daily. I say drink because it ensures you actually drink enough hydration. Go ahead and supplement probiotics too. They're pricey in the pills but you may only have to buy them for a month.

Next take a look at your hydration vs activity/climate seriousness. You're supposed to drink water every 15 minutes when you're active, something like 3-6 oz, every 15 minutes, more if it's extremely hot. 8 glasses of fluid a day is a guideline that ignores how much water is lost during perspiration and huffing and puffing kind of breathing. Try filling a giant thermos of water with your daily intake, or get a metered water bottle so you can figure out what you're drinking each time you refill it.

Next focus on recording your food in a diary, or at least planning one of your meals daily to include both soluble and insoluble fiber. For most people it's easy enough to get it with breakfast with some toast made from superfiber bread (8g or more per slice) or a cup of oatmeal or high fiber cereal (try cracklin oat bran or fiberone). Some granola bars are high fiber, but not all. Add an apple, a whole orange. Bananas are binding so try something else. Dates and nuts on top of granola or yogurt, even softening foods like prunes are tasty at breakfast. Prune/plum juice isn't bad a shot glass at a time.

Lunch can get another piece or two of the high fiber whole grain bread, and take it easy on the cheese and meat portion, and up the fresh lettuce, tomato, onion salad portion on that sandwich. A little fat might be missing from your diet, to lubricate things, so go a bit juicy on the salad dressing or sandwich spread like aoili or a good vinaigrette.

Dinner is easy for most people, but try a small salad course before the meal to get things moving.

Finally, do you take medications that constipate you? Opiates? Acid pump reducers like nexium, tagamet, etc? Look at that for side effects

eat a week's worth of MREs and a cup of Peg 3350 With Electolytes

Drink a bottle of this on an empty stomach, You'll shit out fucking everything

1 cup of black beans has 13g of fiber. 1 cup of oatmeal has 8g
Fruits and veggies

Hit 30g fiber minimum a day

Give yourself an enema

I see a double bardex in OP's future.

A bit harsh, but it'll work. Seriously OP just add more fiber to your diet. Also start eating Greek yogurt and or kefir. It'll help.

>OP, you need to drink Citrucel, Benefiber or Metamucil twice daily. I say

this and lotsa water

Fibre motherfucker.
Veg juice doesn't have fucking fibre you imbecile.

Eat a fucking weetabix.

anal sex.

Have you tried cheese?

>drink water
>get as much fiber as possible
Start eating split peas, but if it's honestly as bad as you say; I would suggest seeing your primary care doctor and requesting a referral to maybe a GI specialist.

do coke, no really try it.

Two teaspoons of psyllium (Metamucil) a day will fix it. Guaranteed, as long as you don't have an underlying medical condition. Store brand is fine. You'll shit a 4 to 6 on the Bristol stool chart daily.

Er, two teaspoons per day if it's the unflavored or artificially sweetened kind. Two tablespoons per day if it's the flavored kind with real sugar. Anyways, I speak from experience. I used to have bad constipation and rock hard stools which gave me hemorrhoids. All that went away with daily psyllium supplementation.

Ovo-vegetarian diet fixed my constipation/hemorrhoids. I tried everything, but that was the only thing that worked.

This. I sometimes take painkillers recreationally and one side effect is (supposedly) constipation, but a pot of coffee in the morning keeps me regular as you like.

That weird that you have Keith Rowland as your op image. Are you from Bellgab?

magnesium

Mg is an osmotic laxative; it draws water into the bowels.

I recommend starting with a pound of sugar free gummy bears, to really get a clean slate to work with. I know some people still think that's exaggeration, but I was literally shitting out intestinal mucus by the end because my body had no more food products left inside it to poop out.

After that, you're going to want to drink a glass of fiber powder and water twice daily, in the morning and evening. Don't go with the name-brand crap, just buy the huge generic tub of it.

dont eat too many eggs. also if you want to loosen up
use kiwifruit. its good to evacuate the bowels.

Apple cider vinegar, my man.
You should aim to drink roughly a quarter of a cup (measuring cup, not a fucking mug) a day.

Get some medical laxative to relieve yourself then eat more fiber and drink more water to prevent it from happening again.

Cheap instant noodles, hot sauce and cheese. As long as CVD doesn't get you than it should work.

I had this problem a few years ago. I would always buy boxes of fiber cereal and eat like two massive bowls. That would do the trick. I dealt with it for two years then it stopped. Never had a problem before that. I never went to a doctor about it.

Why apple cider vinegar.
How it that helps

Fernet