Sup Veeky Forums

nobody cared who OP was until he put on the apron.

Oh shit this is a good one. Now you have to win OP.

you have to work some Veeky Forums memes into the show OP.

Tell them your nickname is Opie.

Tell them that you've been told by friends and family that you have the skills of Ramsey and the attitude to match it.

You never accept anything less than 110% in the kitchen and constantly go into meltdown whenever the judges speak to you while you're cooking

Make anime food exclusively

I will fail autistically and unintentionally. That's for sure. What could I cook though?

This. It's TV. TV comes first. You can create a fucking epic world class ratatouille like the movie, but if they wouldn't care if there wasn't a disaster behind the scenes or some drama or a sudden come-from-behind victory.

And you're a faggot

Tendies with homemade ketchup. Keep a pee bottle in your back pocket for when the judges kick you the hell off the show.

This.

Make a rice risotto that Ramsay doesn't scream at you for ruining.

If you actually make it far enough to get on tv, please throw a "Wa La!" in somewhere along the line.

When will you know if you're chosen? Please deliver

What kind of Jack references could OP make?

Say you're part of the alt-right. It's topical and they might use you for the villain.

*viola

If they ask your favorite food mention the McChicken or tendies.

For these shows they either pick you because you're good, or more likely because you're wacky or some shit. Just don't fuck up goddamn scallops

Yeah, helps to have a back story that stands out a bit, or be from a region or upbringing with an unusual culinary take, or look fabulous, or have a way of passively aggressively pissing off other contestants...*something* they can stitch a story around.

>actually typing this out
hello r.eddit!

It should probably be noted that Veeky Forums spergs now have a place on reality cooking.

There was that horrendously obvious brony NEET in the first season of the Great British Baking Show

make them a mcchicken and tell them for you, it is the best comfort food sandwich

or, make Ramsey the toothpaste hotdog from twitter

Drop some subtle baneposting, then link the episode on /tv/
Some baneposters occupy high positions on some networks you'll never know

Name drop Jack and say he's the one who inspired you to cook.

Season-long cooking shows are about being enjoyable and having a good cast of people that the viewers will want to root for and watch every week.

If you're just a generic schmuck you're not gonna be wanted.

I was on worst cooks in america season 2. I didn't win (obviously) but assuming master chef is in any way similar to hells kitchen or food networks next TV star or whatever the fuck they're calling it nowadays, or top chef, it's 90% drama, 10% food.

The most important things to remember is listen to the staff. If they tell you to put on a glove, put on the god damned glove. Saw someone get replaced for not pretending he cut his finger.

>I was on worst cooks in america season 2.
Who were you?

You better find a way to mention pink Himalayan salt if you make it.

Banepost

Reference memes in very sneaky way

matt crespi. I got the axe week 3. The show was real, we got to spend time with the chefs (I was on robert irvine's team), but a lot was played up. The audition process wasn't dissimilar to how master chef was the first few seasons here in the states. We brought in a signature dish, then they had us do menial tasks and gave orders over a megaphone, to see how we would react, and I assume they picked the group best suited to being on TV. In one section of my audition they had us chopping onions, and were watching us to see who was capable of doing it, and who was just totally retarded. They asked us to do things like dice and julienne and of course I was just a college student so I was fucking retarded and had no idea how to do any of that shit. Then they started walking up to us and asking us what we think would be a good meal to make with onions, do we season with onions at home, do we have any funny stories, do we cry when chopping.

It was like an interview, essentially. But I saw many many people get kicked from the audition due to not obeying the commands or trying to be TOO wacky/zany.

hey there neighbor

Is this what a typical lover of a McChicken looks like?

so do you like the regular mcchicken or the spicy mcchicken?

more like this

>matt crespi.
your twitter is boring

Drop the "For me its the McChicken, the best fast food sandwich" while getting interviewed.

To everyone asking, or course I'll meme the shit out of it; but first I'll have to get in.

SO GIVE ME DISH IDEAS

Since they no longer try to appeal to an audience with a gross factor, go for something actually good.

Try making something either super healthy and light, or super dense and hearty, because the extremes are what will allow you to stand out the most as an applicant. No one wants to see chicken breast dressed up in some shitty generationally-passed sauce. They want something unique.

But also not unique enough that it's confusing to a viewer what your style of cooking is at home, so no molecular gastronomy. No fuckin FOAMS, mate.

Stuff your pockets with spaghetti

No chicken foam. K.

The love the "food truck chef" archetype. Roll up your sleeves and wear a bandana. And always look slightly like you don't want to be there.

Make some ethnic cuisines. There's always a foreigner who only cooks their ethnic style for the whole damn show

blog.foodnetwork.com/fn-dish/2011/01/worst-cooks-exit-interview-matt-crespi/

geekadelphia.com/2011/02/25/matt-crespi-philly-native-one-of-americas-worst-cooks/

You seem like a cool guy.

Do some french cuisine with a wine based sauce and they will all suck ur 1337 dik

Wear a Pepe shirt

>rice risotto
>rice rice

My gf was on this. They try make you fuck up by keeping you exhausted, then rushing you into the kitchen to cook. The warehouse is freezing.

Stories work better than good food. Most of the competition comes from actual chefs who work in catering: no amateur wins these. At least be memoracle, don't cry and throw some subtle memes to the camera.

They made her cry, those fuckers. I swore revenge on the chef, but I've settled for spitting phlegm on his restaurant every time I pass.

Pretty cool user. I hope you're doing well.

Do they allow a studio audience? Love to get tickets to a taping.

this. at least hide a can of spaghetti-o's in there if you get on tv.

Make a cassoulet. Pretty simple and reheats well

RAMEN SUNDAE

MILK STEAK

CHICKEN NUGGERS

THE MEMES ARE ENDLESS

>or, make Ramsey the toothpaste hotdog from twitter

oh fuck, this

I say go for the foams. Get fucking crazy with it

>Name drop Jack and say he's the one who inspired you to cook.

Holy shit, do this.

Do the interview from the point of view of his son.

>muh dad always abused me while he was cooking
>routinely fed me uncooked food, almost died several times
>would chase me around the house with his pork claws when he'd been drinking

It's not the US version. Is Latin America so most memes will pass unnoticed. I can still get some through, pepes would fly trough.

No professional cooks, or anyone with any formal cooking education.

They won't be supporting any type of hearing or cooling for this phase. So the dish should hold well in a cooler (warmer if I throw in a couple of heat packs)

Also should I trip for these threads? Just to jeep you up to date on my wacky hijinks

Yes

And tell them that cooking is the only thing that's keeping you from committing suicide.

>pepes
Normies think pepe = white nationalists

I would not advise that

Make some chicken fricassée or beef stew. Everybody loves that kind of stuff.
Add leeks and parsley for a touch of fanciness.

This thread reminds me of my autistic dream of getting in Master Chef and serve exclusively dishes based on stuff from Shokugeki no Soma

Fill a crockpot with Staggs chili and call it "OPs name" 's famous award winning chili.
If they ask about the awards it's won say it won chili of the year on Veeky Forums in 2015-2016.

why am i laughing at this

>Shokugeki no Soma
Is that a restaurant?

women cry when the wind changes direction slightly. hardly a reason to be upset enough to swear revenge on the chef

Also, quinky sauce on everything

Bump, any news OP?

Me gusta mc tendies senor

i was in masterchef in my country. it was pretty cool.
honestly, no real tips apart from be yourself, learn as much as you can both during and before the show.
don't let them style you to a fucking douchebag

I'm more rustled at the implication that shit is new or something only found in niche grocery stores, than about it being "hot".

Tell them Jacks cooking show is your inspiration

Women cry. That's just what they do. Don't get bent out of shape. She probably just wasn't used to the pressure and there's no handholding with this sort of thing.

Proof you're not LARPing. Time stamp a letter or a photo of yourself.

>cook a dish using beer
>way before adding beer, say "now's not the time for beer.... that comes later"

Yes absolutely do that OP. Study the Mango extensively, and only make dishes from it for challenges. It would be a great troll.

Not in latin america
Normies here still use "Pepe la Rana" for their horrible memes
Country?

It is the single greatest thing to have ever been produced by Japan.

>a live fucking turtle

Open here. I will post proof after Saturday. Hopefully I'll get one of the fifty spoons.

I think I decided on osso bucco with polenta.

voting for this

masterchef america?

jeez just shit in your hand should be good enough for the judges and the viewers