Easy to make meal for a dumbass who cant cook

Making a meal for v-day.

I have no idea what im doing, i have 3 hours.

Help.

Easy mac

What ingredients do you have access to

Or if you really love he velvita and shells

All. I can go to HEB and pick up stuff.

Will post results for fun

quesadillas are almost impossible to fuck up

What are you trying to accomplish with the meal

Something other than spaghetti or hamburger helper.

If i look like a boss thats a bonus.

Maybe too easy. I have done those in the microwave

I mean are you trying to get laid

Just cook a steak man. Look up how to make a good one the trick is to not duck with it especially after you cook let it sit. Scalloped potatoes and a hand tossed salad.

Its my girlfriend of 3 years. I get laid every night. I never cook.

Im trying something different for fun.

She does not know i took off work.

>3 years
ham sandwiches

No grill, stovetop only.

Don't grill it then

Again, that would be the norm unless she is cooking.

trying something new

Can you cook a steak in a pan? Is it worth it?

Any idea on seasonings?

What about sides? No scalloped potates. Maybe mashed? I dont have a mixer. Baked would be good.

You could make curry, which sounds complicated but consists of "throw everything in a frying pan" but I don't think curry is very romantic

Maybe try cooking some fish

Ahhh, no fish.

Its not that she does not like it, she just grew up eating nothing but fish so its kind of lost its luster to where she will choose literally anything else. Otherwise she is open like me, just preferring somethings to others.

curry sounds interesting. Anything other ideas?

Figure about 10-20 more mins of deciding before going out, getting the stuff, cooking it for when she gets home around 5:30 (3 hours from now)

Target sells a beef spiral that you can just pop in the oven. Just make sure to remove the string so she thinks you made it.

Interesting.

maybe could find something like that at HEB...I think i saw stuff like that.

buy some sausages , cilantro, catsup,onion and chipotle , if you can buy cocktail sausages , if you dont just cut regular sausages , add ketchup and chipotle , cut the cilantro and onion in small pieces and add it do the ketchup and chipotle add the sausages , and thats what here whe call cocktail sausages ,

fuck off normie scum

mark bittman brown butter and cream pasta with sage and vegetables

google this.

Make your own pizza. Dough isn't that hard and only takes like an hour to proof.

Would agree that steak is your best option for speed and simplicity. You can learn from jewtube howto in 10mins and then do it in less than that. Don't cook it cold though, let it get to room temp. Make sure the pan is really hot so you get a nice sear, but don't overcook it -- it will keep cooking once removed from heat. Fresh rosemary and smashed garlic clove will infuse flavour during cook, also like to baste with butter towards the end (add a little oil and the butter won't burn). Serve with a quick salad (garden greens & cherry tomatoes) and you're done. Just rinse the greens with some really cold water to re-crisp them.

Coq au Vin.

Personally I wouldn't make a pasta dish bc pasta is heavy and isn't conducive to post-dinner fucking.

Wala

Made stuffed shells. Ground beef and other such shit. Gf insisted I wait till I got home. I told her fine as long as every time she criticize me I take a shot of this bradass blueberry vodka (western son shit is 10/10)

I am drunk.

Holy shit son, you most definitely will not be getting fucked tonight.