Brew a cup of extra strong coffee

>brew a cup of extra strong coffee
>have the greatest poop of my life ten minutes later

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I get an afterglow-like effect when I drink coffee in the afternoon, but I've never gotten the shits, ever.

It's not like runny shits, more of a solid mass that glides out your butthole. I have severe gastrointestinal issues and it's the only thing that really helps. I have this senna based coffee creamer that does wonders after I eat mexican food.

Sounds like you have a poor diet.
Eat more fiber and your shits should come out as clean logs that require no wipes.

>muh poo

Grow up.

Everybody poops, user :)

That has never happened to me. Is it because I eat fiber?

I consume a shit ton of beans and oats but I have a bunch of scar tissue in my colon due to a recent surgery, so it tends to get backed up every so often. A cup of joe is cheaper than a visit to my colorectal doctor.

I don't :(

SHIT POOP

BUTTLOGS

TURDS

TURTS LOL

FART

DIRT ROPE

also go fuck yourself

post colostomy bag :3

reddit.com/r/nopoop

not OP but a number of studies have found that coffee consumption does have a laxative effect

Coffee really makes my anxiety worse but I can't stop drinking. Oh well

I only get the coffee poop if I've had several cups. Also I've never gotten it from instant coffee, so idk what science has to say about that. But anyway hot liquids hasten digestion and caffeine is a stimulant which increases your metabolic rate. The odd part is that it also gives you energy which tricks your body into thinking it's less hungry. This is why all those diet pills are a variety of stimulants. Speed up digestion and suppress hunger at the same time. Granted fresh brewed coffee has a thousand other chemicals in it besides caffeine so that's part of what makes it so hard to quit. Nothing can replace the taste and feeling of drinking hot bean sludge.

What is thi$?

looks like a ""satire"" of nofap

I always disliked the taste of coffee so I never started drinking it, and thus never built any dependency on caffeine. I wake up energized in the morning on my own which makes me superior to all you coffee drinkers.

I think this is where the whole shart thing comes from.

lol you dream of my energy levels!

Mud

I only have one cup in the morning.
I'm not dependent on it, and I wake up energized in the morning without it.
I mainly do it because I enjoy the taste and the ritual of it and the temporary stimulant boost.
Plus coffee, in moderation, is healthy for you and will make you live longer
.
So I'm exactly like you, but even more superior.

Yeah, it gets me going too, it's great.

I'm also SUPERIOR because I don't buy coffee from substandard Starbucks any more and I only drink one cup a day and I drink organic coffee
not the chemically infused poison that most people drink at homes or in public coffee places.

Truth is this, shitty coffee makes you shit.
Quality coffee inspires bowel movement.

dude, I get mad poops just looking at my coffee. No joke. I think its the aroma

This is actually a thing. The aroma alone can trigger it psychologically due to association.

Let me ask you a question: what does "organic" coffee mean to you?

>Let me ask you a question: what does "organic" coffee mean to you?
Tel you what, why don't you google "organically grown coffee" and read it.

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